War of love!
by samantha.plummer.92
Summary: AU: - Loving someone is relatively easy but when you're doing it against the backdrop of the Second World War, it becomes so much harder. When Airman Arthur Pendragon falls hopelessly in love with Gwen who's just joined the WAAF, they're in for the time of their lives. Please read and Review! I DON'T own Merlin!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is perhaps my new story. This is going to deal with how Gwen and Arthur fall in love in wartime and how it effects the people around them. Anyone who has read my stories knows that I like to let my characters go on a bit of a journey. So, that's what I intend to do!**

Summary: AU- Loving someone is relatively easy but when you're doing it against the backdrop the Second World War, it becomes so much harder. When Airman Arthur Pendragon falls hopelessly in love with Gwen who's just joined the WAAF, they're in for the time of their lives.

Arthur's POV

No-one knew what to expect when our lives began to irrevocably change as the war was announced. It wasn't what we were wearing which changed or where we worked that was important but the feeling of uncertainty and fear which you could in see in every old veteran you came across was.

It was if they could tell that our lives would soon be affected by it but everyone it would affect couldn't see that.

My father, Uther, had forbade me from joining the air force but I wanted to do my bit for Britain so I defied him by joining. In a way, I felt obliged to do so. It wasn't just that which caused me to join, though; it was obvious that it was an opportunity to gain some independence. Away from my father….

Despite what was going on around us, what with the bombs and the men fighting, when I arrived at the air field where I was being stationed I felt at home.

The men I met weren't only brilliantly courageous but they all had their own personalities. Merlin, who seemed an unlikely pilot, was fiercely loyal. I'd only met him for a week before I noticed his unswerving loyalty to his friend Lancelot.

It could have been an effect of the war but all of the men welcomed me with open arms. Even Mordred who seemed to not like anyone but I often saw him give me a smile!

I would often see him with no-one around him or even talking to him and when I had asked Merlin about it, he simply said: "There's something about him which makes people uncomfortable."

After that, I would often see Merlin trying to talk to him which would never get Mordred to talk to him back as he just simply ignored him and carried on with what he was doing.

In a way, life was falling into a pattern. A comfortable one at that! I was doing my pilot's training, I had made friends and for once, I knew that I was doing it because I wanted to do it rather than doing it because of someone else. Namely my father.

Little did I know that my heart, if not my life would change by the arrival of a certain WAAF. Our airfield had over 50 of them and whilst most of them were billeted near us, some of them weren't. I couldn't help but hope she was one of them who was stationed near us!

She had arrived late. I remember watching her come through the canteen door; her curled hair had yet to be restrained by the WAAF cap she had been holding making me stare at her.

I hadn't just been staring at her vibrant curls but everything about her. There was something intriguing and in a way, fascinating about her. It seemed as if I couldn't bear not to look at her!

"Who's she?" Merlin had asked me, curiously looking at the girl who was now talking to another girl.

I remember the sense of conflict I felt at his words. I wanted to get to know her but I was aware that I was here for a reason. To train as a pilot, not become obsessed with a woman or heaven forbid, fall in love.

"No idea, mate." I had told him, trying not to watch her.

That's how it all started and I had naively thought nothing would come of it. Good or bad! That I would see from time to time but nothing would happen at all.

It's just a pity no-one told that to my heart!

**A/N: Here's the first chapter! I hope you enjoy it. Please review so I know what everyone thinks about it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Chapter 2! Thanks for all the reviews, follows, favourites, etc. I appreciate it. Anyway, as some of you have guessed Arthur already seems fascinated with our Gwen but love doesn't always run smoothly, does it? So, of course, there will be some bumps along the way! In this chapter, Gwen's WAAF cap will be saved by a handsome Gwaine and Gwen and Arthur will meet. I don't OWN Merlin!**

I was running spectacularly late! I had hoped to make my way from Nottingham in good time but given how late I had gotten my taxi, I had no way of it happening. The rationing of fuel had meant that the price of taxis had become too expensive to use them frequently but since I had been visiting home, I didn't really have a choice. It was, of course, the government's way of making sure we don't use too much.

I couldn't help but let out a small sigh of relief when I had finally spotted the airfield. I paid the driver as soon as I had gotten out; but I had to keep a hand on my cap as it was perching precariously on top of my curls so that it didn't fall of. When a strong gust of wind caught my hat, it abruptly went flying off my head.

I had tried to reach out with my hands as soon as it did so, but the gust of wind had made it fly way out of my reach. I quickly tried to see where it had landed as I struggled against the wind and after a moment, I saw where it was.

My cap was currently in the hands of a very handsome man. As I approached the man I didn't just notice his appearance but also that there was man next to him, too.

The man who had caught my cap had dark brown hair which, although, was on the long side still suited him and his uniform.

"Thank you for catching it!" I told him, as soon as I had come up to the two men.

The man who had caught my hat looked at me properly for the first time and in an instance, he was smiling at me.

"No problem. I don't think I've ever met you before! What's your name?" He asked me, his eyes twinkling in curiosity and playfulness.

The man's playful nature was radiating off him as I could not only see it in his eyes but also his smile, too. I couldn't help feel curious as to whether there was something else underneath his playful nature and his teasing.

"I'm Gwen." I told him, giving him a soft smile.

As soon as I said my name, I could tell he was going to try and flirt with me. I don't know whether there was something about this man which intrigued me which made me not mind but I liked talking to him.

"I thought women who looked as beautiful as you were called Esmeralda or Sophia!" He told me, his flirting increasing rapidly as well as his boldness.

Even though, I had the faint suspicion that he said that to every woman he met, I couldn't stop the blush which was now making its way down my cheeks.

"Nope, I'm just plain old Gwen." I told him, trying to get rid of my embarrassment.

The man, whose name I still didn't know, had a retort to this which made me gape at him.

"There's nothing plain about you, Gwen." I couldn't help but look surprised at him as his words had lost his playful tone.

How did he know that, anyway? After all, I had just met him. I don't even know his name!

"And you are?" I asked him, aware that we had been gazing into each other's eyes.

His voice had gone back to being playful and flirty as he told me: "I'm Gwaine."

It was at this point when Gwaine and I were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. As I looked to where the second man was, I felt slightly guilty. I had totally forgotten that he was standing near him.

"I'm Leon. Nice to meet you…" Leon told me, as soon as I had hurriedly tried to make up for my rudeness.

As I looked at my cap which was still in Gwaine's hands, I abruptly remembered that I was late. I didn't want to get into trouble on the first day.

I knew that my hair probably resembled a bush because of the wind but the thought of being in trouble made me decide that I didn't have the time to sort it out.

"I had better show my face in there." I told the two men, nervously.

Gwaine seeing my nervousness not only offered me my cap but he also offered me another breath-taking smile.

I took my cap of him and I nodded my thanks to both of the men before I made my way to the canteen.

As I stepped in, I was assaulted with sight of at least 20-odd tables all filled with people. It seemed that on one side there were the pilots and on the other was my fellow WAAF's.

My eyes searched the tables before I spotted a woman who seemed to be signalling to me.

As I came up to talk to her, I couldn't help but notice that she looked friendly.

"Hello. You looked a little lost there. I'm Freya." She told me; as soon as I had sat down next to her after she had motioned for me do so.

I quickly introduced myself before the people around me seemed to want to know who I was and I was being barraged with questions. To say it was slightly overwhelming would be an understatement.

"Girls, leave her be! She's just arrived. " A voice told them, before taking a seat.

The girls who had been asking me questions had only been curious but I knew that the girl who couldn't have been older than me, had meant to be nice.

"Who's she?" I asked Freya, as soon as the girls had gone back to their meals.

Freya seeing who I was talking about smiled wryly before answering me. She had also looked around to see if anyone was listening.

"That's Mithian. She's nice when she wants to be." She told me, almost whispering.

Her words had made me immensely curious but before I could ask her about she said we were interrupted by the arrival of two pilots.

As I saw them arrive, I took in their appearances. Whilst the one who seemed very enthusiastic to meet me, seemed like an odd looking pilot, the other one didn't.

He looked very much the pilot in waiting he was. His manor and the way he held himself exuded confidence and self-assurance.

Although, he did seem slightly reluctant to meet me as he didn't or couldn't meet my gaze!

"I'm Merlin!" The enthusiastic one told me, shaking my hand.

I couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm as but it was the sly glance he shot to Freya which told me a couple of things.

It was pretty obvious that Merlin liked Freya and as I looked quickly to her, I noticed her blushing. They seemed to both like each other.

"Gwen. Well, Guinevere, really but it can be sometimes a mouthful. So, you can call me Gwen!" I knew I was babbling but it was just nerves.

"Well…Guinevere, I'm Arthur." The second man told me, after a little while.

There was something about him which made me want to run away and hide as his gaze seemed so intense and full of emotion. I couldn't help wonder if he was offended by something I had done or said.

The two men I had met earlier, Gwaine and Leon, were new entering the canteen and as Gwaine noticed me he sent me a very cheeky wink.

For what seemed like the hundredth time today, I yet again blushed. Arthur noticed my blush but he hadn't noticed the wink Gwaine had sent me but he did see who my blush was to!

Arthur's gaze darkened considerably but not to me. It was baffling me considerably. Why did he seem to dislike me? I had just met him!

Merlin hadn't noticed what had happened as he was gazing lovingly at Freya and she him but Arthur had seemed to realise that I was confused and he had seemed to calm down.

**A/N: There you go! Not the best first impression but jealously does that to people! So, do you think Gwen will fall for Arthur or Gwaine? Both? This will be a ARWEN fanfic!**

**Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, favourites, etc. I appreciate all the feedback as people seem to like this story which is good! Erm, I am a massive fan of Arthur and Gwen which is why they WILL end up together but the prospect of adding Gwaine into the mix is an interesting thought. I don't OWN MERLIN!**

**Arthur's POV**

I hadn't expected to be so angry and jealous about Gwaine's behaviour to Guinevere but it was almost instinctive. As if, I couldn't help myself. I had hoped that I was able to mask my feelings from Guinevere but a week later, it seemed abundantly clear that I hadn't.

Instead of her thinking that I had been jealous, she had assumed that I had took an instant dislike to her. Every time we were in the canteen or the grounds, she would barely look at me or talk to me. When she did it was obvious that she was guarding what she was saying in order for me not to hate her.

Ever since I had realised that, I had such a strong desire to make Guinevere see that I'm not normally jealous or rude and that I truly didn't hate her. I barely knew her but it was clear that no matter what she did I would always feel protective of her and that I definitely couldn't hate her. The feeling of uneasiness I felt whenever I saw Gwaine and Guinevere talking were almost over-whelming at times. The feeling didn't seem to be disappearing any time soon either.

A couple of days ago, I had first tried to talk to Guinevere to make her see how I normally am. Although, she was shocked she didn't seem to be the type of women to hold grudges as she seemed happy enough to talk to me, even if she was slightly wary.

It signalled a routine of sorts. Every day since we had talked to each other! The things we talked about were never of any consequence to anyone else besides ourselves but I was never bored as the things Guinevere told me in a way, made me like her more and more.

"Arthur, are you listening to me?" Guinevere asked me, as we were walking to where Freya and Merlin were breaking into my thoughts.

I had, of course, been listening to her but I also kind of got caught up in my thoughts, too. So, I didn't really take in what she was saying.

At her words, I merely nodded. After all, despite the fact we were friends didn't mean I wanted to push my luck after she had forgiven me for my behaviour.

"Of course, Guinevere." I told her, smiling.

Guinevere looked sceptical at my words and I couldn't really blame her as I had never been a very good liar even when I had been a child.

"Good. So, what should we do?" She asked me, looking towards Freya and Merlin.

I knew I couldn't pretend that I had been listening now and instead decided to show clueless I was about what she had been talking about.

"Erm, about what?" I asked her, preparing myself for her to be upset.

To my amazement, she wasn't upset by me words or annoyed. I think in a way she had noticed my inattention.

"Freya and Merlin! They obviously like each other." Guinevere's step had quickened slightly as she had said this, making me try and catch up with her.

I knew she was trying to help them be happy but it was hard for me to talk about Freya and Merlin with Guinevere.

It reminded me how fragile and new my friendship with her was. Although, I was happy I was finally her friend, it didn't mean that I didn't want more.

It's just what with the war and the ever constant flirting from Gwaine it seemed as if Guinevere would never like me back.

I tried to push that pessimistic thought out of my head by turning my mind back to Freya and Merlin. I had to agree with Guinevere, though, as it was very obvious that both Freya and Merlin were besotted with each other.

The least I could do would be to give them a little push in the right direction. As I caught, Guinevere's pensive look, it seemed she wouldn't mind helping me do it, either.

"Perhaps we give them a helping hand?" I asked her, looking at her waiting for her reaction.

At my words, Guinevere's face broke into a smile and for a moment I wondered if she would hug me. As her smile widened and the seconds flew by and she still hadn't, all hope for the hug disappeared.

I had tried to remind myself that I was going to be a pilot and that was the reason for being here rather than falling in love but it didn't stop what I was feeling. It just meant that I was lying to myself.

"Good idea. I'll go and talk to Freya. " Guinevere told me, before running up to Freya.

I quickly gave her a slight smile but I knew it must look insincere. The sight of her running away from me made me feel ridiculously sad even though it was only temporary.

I knew my life would change as soon as I had joined the air force but I hadn't expected it to change so much.

Unlike some of my other friends, I wasn't oblivious to what was happening outside the airfield. It wasn't that they were naïve but their sense of optimism and hope seemed infallible at times and whilst I couldn't help admire it, I also couldn't help wonder (or hope) that they don't lose it.

I suddenly noticed a presence next to me and I saw Merlin walking beside me. He had obviously come away from Freya which was a minor miracle in itself.

"What's up with you? You've been acting strange since Gwen got here!" Merlin told me wisely for once.

I couldn't help but curse Merlin at his words. Why was it that he noticed the things I didn't want him to but he was happily oblivious to things I don't care about?

"I'm not acting strange at all. It's got nothing to do with Guinevere." I told him, trying to lie.

When Merlin's face lit up in realisation I knew he had realised my feelings for her.

"You're in love!" He spat out happily, his face breaking into a smile.

Merlin had, of course, got on incredibly well with Guinevere and he seemed to like her despite the fact that she was Freya's new best friend.

I didn't want to him to talk about me being in love! For everyone else, love is something you want and desire and whilst I normally would agree, being in the middle of the war was not how I planned for it to be! Especially, with Gwaine running after Guinevere like a lost puppy….

The thought of her choosing Gwaine was heart-breaking and I didn't want to contemplate if she did!

It was this which made me feel uncomfortable as Gwaine was by no means unpopular with women but I had never seen him chase a woman as much as he had done with Guinevere.

Just the thought makes me feel sick to my stomach!

"No, I'm not. Don't be an idiot, Merlin!" I told him, slightly more harshly than I had intended it to be.

Merlin, at my words, did look slightly hurt but he still had a retort to throw at me.

"Only if you stop being a clotpole!" He shouted to me, as he joined Guinevere and Freya.

**A/N: There you go! I hope it's obvious that whilst Arthur loves Gwen he's also scared. Given that they're at war, you can't really blame him!**

**I hope you enjoyed this!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews, etc. I appreciate it. Anyway, in this chapter, Gwen will become ill and Arthur will start panicking. I have an idea where this will go so please don't worry! I don't OWN Merlin!**

Gwen's POV

Life at the airfield, although, was exhausting was also extremely rewarding. The duties I had been given when I had arrived seemed simple and uncomplicated as they included jobs such as helping to prepare dinner or cleaning the mess hall but it was becoming obvious that no matter what job we did, it all mattered.

The sense of unity everyone seemed to feel was electric and in a way, was infectious. Some of the airmen I had met were so courageous and loyal that it seemed to them the thought of losing the war hadn't even occurred to them. Merlin was one of these men.

Merlin had quickly become one of my closest friends along with Freya and of course, Arthur. I can't help feel amazed out how well we had gotten along after a couple of days. There will still times when I'd still get the feeling that I'd done something to offend Arthur as I would catch him looking at me so intensely with so much emotion, that I couldn't stop looking at him.

Every time it happened, though, it quickly passed and I didn't really feel the need to bring up. After all, we were friends and I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that.

Another day was over and the sight of my bed made me feel even more tired. Something I had been feeling for hours. Although, I felt like collapsing on my bed in a heap, I ended up perching on it lethargically. For some reason, my feet didn't want to work for me.

"Are you alright, Gwen? You look exhausted." Freya told me, as she sat on her bed opposite me.

I had closed my eyes still sitting up on my bed but despite my tiredness, sleep still evaded me. As I acknowledged Freya's words, I slowly opened my eyes.

"I'm fine, Freya. Just tired." I told her, trying to take my cap off my head.

It hadn't been my intention to lie to her but I didn't tell her how ill and tired I felt. To me, it would be a sign of weakness.

I had been surrounded by these strong, courageous men and women for at least two month now and I couldn't help feel inadequate compared to them. After all, I hadn't done anything in my life worthy of merit.

Freya looked worried at my words and as I stood up to gather my night gown, I couldn't help feel slightly nauseous. The tiredness which had seemed to swamp me for at least half the day seemed to be disappearing and I knew that I should be relieved but I knew there was more to it.

As I slowly undressed and changed into my nightgown, I noticed Freya staring at me still.

"Freya, I'm fine. Can you leave it?" I told her, finally getting into my bed.

Freya sighed at my words but I could tell she wouldn't let the subject go.

It seemed almost an age before I was able to fall asleep, feeling no better than I had done before.

A sudden shake seemed to wake me up and as I slowly opened my eyes, I noticed Freya standing next to me with a worried expression on her face.

"Gwen, something's up with you. You have a fever and you're sweating." She told me, kneeling beside me.

I knew she was worried as the tone of her voice showed me she was but I tried to give her a small smile.

"It's probably a cold or something. I'll be alright in the morning." I told her, softly.

Freya could see that I was trying to reassure her so she returned to bed but it was obvious that she was still worried.

IN THE MORNING

It had become a routine to wake up well before your shift started so as to eat in the canteen so when I first woke up, I felt a strong desire to keep in bed.

However, I also wanted to see Arthur and Merlin and of course, Gwaine, so I slowly climbed out of bed and started to get ready.

Although, I had tried to get ready as fast as possible, my arms and legs didn't seem to be helping me. It seemed longer than it was before I slowly made my way to the canteen.

Once I was there everyone seemed to be already awake. I soon spotted Arthur, Merlin and Freya and I slowly made my way to sit near them.

"Guinevere, are you all right? You don't look good at all!" Arthur told me, as I approached them. His voice echoed what Freya had said the night before but unlike Freya's whose voice had seemed worried, Arthur's almost seemed frantic.

I couldn't help wince as he said this as I knew that I didn't look my best but did he really need to point it out?

"Yes, Gwen. You do look unwell." Merlin agreed, looking over me.

Freya, who had stayed silent as Merlin and Arthur had appraised me, still looked slightly concerned.

"I am fine." I told them, softly.

My voice sounded brittle and unlike me but that seemed insignificant. Everything seemed insignificant.

Everyone around me gave me disbelieving looks and I couldn't help feel my resolve crumbling. Surely they wouldn't think any less of me for admitting that I was feeling unwell?

I had been feeling unwell shortly after I had come back from my leave but it would sometimes go so it never seemed important.

"Alright. I just feel tired and weak, okay?" I told them, finally taking a seat next to Arthur.

They all looked worried at my words but Arthur more so. His eyes conveyed the panic and worry he was feeling and as I looked at him at him, I wanted to comfort him.

After all, I had caused him to feel it.

**A/N: There you go! I didn't plan on making Gwen ill but now I know where this is going in the story and where I want it to go. (This story will have a happy ending, just so you know!)**

**Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Here is chapter 5! I am so sorry I've taken so long to update. I've had a pretty hectic week what with exams and revision as well as Young Enterprise duties and meetings! So, hopefully, by 24****th**** I will be able to update as much as I like! (: In this chapter, Arthur will see just how serious Gwen's illness really is (sorry, guys, it's not just a cold) and he will try and persuade her to see a doctor! I don't OWN merlin!**

Arthur's POV

As I gazed at Guinevere, I could sense her exhaustion as it practically radiated off her. Although, it seemed she could still do her duties as she did them brilliantly and with a smile, I could see just how exhausting doing them was. Guinevere, of course, didn't want to tell us that something was wrong but after about a week of her still being ill, I was becoming frantic.

All of Guinevere's friends were, even Gwaine. He had stopped his incessant flirting with her and instead seemed to just want to be there for her. I knew I should have been relieved but I could also sense that he wasn't messing her about and that he really cared for her. In a way, it confirmed what I hoped he wouldn't feel.

I saw it every time I looked them together. Gwaine always seemed to have a love-struck look on his face and Guinevere always seemed to love talking to him. Although, I knew I should have felt more jealous (which I did feel), my concern for her was more overpowering than my own jealousy.

An abrupt, hacking cough broke into my thoughts making me look at Guinevere in concern. The guttural sound of the cough seemed to pierce my soul as well as ignite the worry I had been feeling. Guinevere's small body heaved and gutted as the cough intensified and before I could try and ease her discomfort by rubbing her back, Gwaine beat me to it.

He had put his arm around her and brought her to his chest before, he started to rub her back softly. I knew that I should have been overcome with jealousy but instead, the sight of Guinevere looking so fragile and broken in his arms, seemed to made me realise just how serious her illness was and that it wasn't a cold.

Freya and Merlin, who had been sitting at the table too, had noticed with worried expressions as well. When I looked back at Guinevere, her handkerchief caught my attention.

Guinevere's hanky was a floral print one which was adorned with little flowers around the edges but that wasn't what drew my attention. The barely there but still noticeable splodges of crimson did.

For a moment, I thought it was make up but after a moment, I realised to my horror that it was her blood.

"Guinevere, what is that!?" I tried to ask her, calmly but instead, my panic was still obvious.

Guinevere looked slightly panicked as she noticed where I had been looking and before she answered me, she tried to hide the handkerchief.

"Nothing, Arthur." Her voice was soft and delicate but there was a hint of steel behind it which I couldn't help but notice.

I knew by her determined look that she wouldn't admit that something was wrong and it was beginning to break my heart.

"Gwen…please go to a doctor!" I told her, my desperation finally getting the better of me.

Guinevere's eyes filled with tears and for a moment, I thought she would acquiesce but before she answered me, Gwaine answered for her.

"Let it go, Arthur. You can't force her to." He had obviously noticed her tears but not noticed the blood.

I knew he was concerned about her but I'm certainly not going to stand by and watch her become worse day by day.

Like hell I am! It's one thing when it's something like a cold but not when it's something potentially like threatening.

"No, I won't, Gwaine." I told him, simply, my gaze still fixed on Guinevere.

I didn't want to act as forceful as I was coming across but her stubborn nature meant that she couldn't tell us what was wrong and what she felt.

Why couldn't she see how much she meant to us all? We definitely wouldn't think any less of her for admitting to being ill.

I could understand her wanting to do her duty. It seemed as if everyone in Britain wanted to, but she already had. Heck, she had even joined the WAAF before she had been conscripted.

Gwaine had started to glare at my words but seeing the warning look Guinevere gave him, he didn't say anything back to me.

"Alright, Arthur. I'll go…" Guinevere's voice was full of exasperation but I could sense some relief, too.

A beacon of hope rose in my chest at her words, and I gave her a little smile. I couldn't help admire her for everything.

Even though, it would have been easier for all of us, if she had admitted to being ill, her determination to carry on was amazing. I couldn't see why she thought admitting being ill was a weakness, though.

After all, she had continued to do her duties and do them well. She didn't just do them half-heartedly, that wasn't like Guinevere at all, but she put her heart and soul into it. I suppose that was why her superiors hadn't noticed about her being ill.

Her determination about her duties and the dedication she showed whilst she did them, made me feel hopeful about the war. I had sometimes seen her in the mess hall and despite how exhausted she was she would always acknowledge my presence with a wave and a smile.

Guinevere was now out of Gwaine's arms, and looking as tired as ever but she was still trying to make conversation with Merlin and Freya.

"Have you heard about what happened to Philipa?" Guinevere asked Freya, softly.

I knew Guinevere wasn't a gossiper so I knew the information would either be scandalous or important.

Freya shook her head at Guinevere's words and looked at her expectantly.

"Mithian gave her a right old telling off yesterday. Philly had tripped up over the water bucket when she was cleaning the floor. Basically Mithian told her she was as useless as someone can get!" Guinevere sounded upset and angry as she relayed the information.

Freya looked annoyed too but I knew she disliked Mithian with a passion. I couldn't help wonder why, though.

"Really? Where you there…?" Freya asked her.

Guinevere gave her a wry smile and looked slightly apprehensive.

"Unfortunately! I tried to defend her against Mithian. I tried to tell her to go easy on her." Guinevere told her, looking slightly sheepish.

I knew why, of course. Mithian seemed almost like the unofficial leader of the WAAF's even though; she wasn't older or even senior than anyone else.

Freya had a look of both admiration and shock on her face and I wondered whether Guinevere had made an enemy.

**A/N: There you go! Next chapter, Gwen will find out what's wrong with her. Just a little angst here and some pondering….I hope you liked this!**

**Please review! **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Chapter 6! I'm sorry that my updates have been quite irregular, it wasn't done on purpose. Exams have been driving me crazy and luckily by Friday, I will be able to focus on this fic more! Anyway, in this chapter, Gwen will be accompanied with Arthur to the doctor and her illness will be revealed. I DON'T own Merlin!**

Gwen's POV

After I had said that I would visit the doctor, Arthur seemed to be determined to go with me. I had the faint suspicion that it was to check that I'd go but I couldn't help but feel relieved. Even though, I had said that I would go, it didn't mean that I wasn't scared. If anything, I'm petrified. It's not that I don't like doctors as I don't have any reason not to but I'm scared of what I'm going to be told.

I had tried to fool everyone into believing that I was perfectly well and whilst it meant that I could hide away from what was going on, I think in a way the more I tried to fool everyone, I was able to fool myself, too.

It was probably one of the reasons why I could still do my duties. It didn't mean, though, that I wasn't exhausted after I had done them. It wasn't that doing my task was my duty so much, but everything was out of my control even how I was feeling. No matter what I did, I perpetually felt exhausted and spent and nearly every night, I would wake up in a cold sweat. I was becoming a person I no longer recognised which scared me more than anything.

Doing my duties was a way to reclaim some control over what was happening in my life.

"Guinevere, are you ready to go?" Arthur asked me, as I came towards him.

At his words, I nodded to him. I must have looked nervous as Arthur tried to give me a reassuring smile. Even though his smile didn't make the nervousness I was feeling go away entirely, I appreciated that he was trying.

"Yes, I am. Shall we go?" I asked him, as soon as I stopped walking and started to put my coat on.

I was becoming more agitated as the minutes went by as my hands began to shake. I clumsily fumbled with the buttons on my coat for what seemed like an age but it couldn't have been longer than a couple of seconds.

Arthur seeing this caught my hands in his and began to hold them. When he spoke next his voice was full of concern and tenderness.

"Don't worry, Guinevere, I'll be there, too." Arthur told me, my hands still in his.

For some reason, I did feel slightly calmer and less terrified but I still wanted to run away and hide. I now know that you can't run and hide from your problems as they always pop up to the surface.

"Thank you….for coming with me." I told him, as I looked into his eyes. I could see that he was scared too, but unlike me, he was putting on a brave face.

Arthur, at my words, looked slightly sheepish. For someone who normally looks so confident and debonair, his expression looked out of place.

I felt slightly bad for thanking him as I could see that I'd made him feel uncomfortable.

"You don't have to thank me, Guinevere…" He told me, softly. As he had told me this, I could tell that he wanted to tell me something else.

At his words, I couldn't help be curious. I knew we were friends but he still hardly knew me. Arthur was an enigma to me. It seemed as if every preconception I had of him was always being shattered. When I first met him, he seemed rude and in a way, conceited but his actions show him to be someone kind and considerate.

"We'd better go, or we'll miss the appointment." Arthur told me, making realise that I had been staring at him in a very unsubtle way.

THE DOCTOR'S SURGERY

I had hoped to prolong the journey so I would have had a little more time to compose myself but it had only taken just over an hour despite how far the surgery was.

We have been waiting for just over 10 minutes and the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach was making me feel slightly nauseous.

Every so often, I would see Arthur giving me concerned looks and whilst I didn't want to make him even more concerned, I couldn't meet his gaze.

My mind was full to the brim of thoughts of every scenario possible and it was doing nothing to calm my nerves but one question I can't seem to even acknowledge is probably one of the most important. What if I'm dying?

Could I deal with that? I felt ungrateful for even thinking it as death seems to be surrounding everyone what with people being killed in the war.

"The doctor will see you now." A raven haired young woman told us, motioning for us to come in.

Arthur looked to see if I wanted him to come in with me and whilst I hoped he wouldn't mind, I nodded for him to come.

Although, my legs felt as if they had a mind of their own, I slowly made my way into the doctor's room.

The doctor looked in his 60's but when he looked at me and Arthur he looked almost younger. He seemed like a nice man.

"My name is Dr. Gaius Harris. It's a pleasure to meet you both." He told us, showing us the seats in front of his desk.

We quickly introduced each other but Arthur and I seemed to be impatient to find out what was wrong me as soon as possible.

"So, what can I help you with?" The doctor-Gaius- asked us, politely.

I took a deep breath before I answered him as if to make sure that I could tell him about what I was feeling.

"Erm, well….I've been feeling really lethargic and unwell. I've also been waking up in the middle of the night in night sweats. I've also been coughing as well…." I told him, watching his face for a reaction.

Although, I could see a flicker of realisation in the doctor's eyes, I didn't want to read too much into it. I would find out soon enough anyway.

"Do you mind waiting outside so I can examine, Guinevere?" The doctor asked him, politely.

Arthur looked at me and I knew he didn't want to leave me and as much as I wanted him not to leave me, he would need to leave. As Arthur stood up, he gave a small smile and made his way out of the room.

Now that Arthur had left, the doctor motioned for me to sit on the bench on the other side of the room so he could examine me.

As I sat on it, I couldn't help miss Arthur. Somehow in some unusual way he seemed to be able to make me feel calmer and more me.

The examination, although, was quick also seemed thorough which I was glad about. The more I had to wait the more nervous as I was getting.

"Shall I ask Arthur in?" Gaius asked me, as soon as he had finished.

I nodded at him emphatically, as he asked me and I was very grateful for him asking.

He went out swiftly and brought Arthur back in. When I saw Arthur approaching, it seemed as if he looked as nervous as I felt.

I made my way over the chair and sat down patiently, waiting for Gaius to take his seat too.

"Do you know what's wrong me, then?" I asked him, my voice a little more impatient than I would have liked.

As Gaius looked at me sympathetically, I hoped whatever he knew or thought wasn't as bad as I had imagined. Gaius looked at me and then Arthur before speaking. His voice didn't seem hesitant in any way but I could tell that he wasn't certain.

"You are displaying some symptoms of consumption. Although, you will need to have an x-ray to make sure whether you do indeed have the illness and the severity of the illness…" I must have zoned out for some of his speech after I had heard the word 'consumption' as I felt Arthur holding my hand as Gaius mentioned an x-ray.

"When do you want me to have an x-ray?" I asked Gaius, not quite believing that I probably had the disease, anyway.

Gaius answered me straight away and the way he did, made it seem unlikely that I didn't have what he said.

"As soon as possible. Today, perhaps….?" He told me, simply.

I nodded to him and as soon as he saw this, he got a slip of his desk and started to write on it.

"Do you mind Arthur giving this to my receptionist, Morgana, whilst I talk to Guinevere for a moment?" He asked him, holding out the slip of paper to him.

Arthur quickly took it and before walking out, squeezed my hand.

I could tell Gaius would want to talk to me about my duties and being a WAAF but I didn't want to believe that my effort for the war would be over. I just couldn't. I hadn't just made friends but I'd also been given my independence as well.

"How have you been coping with your duties?" Gaius asked me, noticing my WAAF uniform under my coat.

Gaius was only trying to help me so I knew that I couldn't lie to him, after all, it wouldn't matter anyway. As soon as my superiors find out they will stop my duties immediately.

"I've been able to complete them." I told him, thinking of how much it took for me to do them.

I wanted to know how sure or unsure he was about what I have. It would stop me worrying too much and if he really did think I have consumption then it would allow me some time to take the news in.

"How sure are you? About my illness?" I asked him, not trying to sound as hopeful as I should have.

"About 90% sure." Gaius' answer was short and to the point and as soon as I heard it, I knew I was kidding myself.

If he was that sure, then there must be little chance that it's something else.

THE HOSPITAL-AFTER THE X-RAY

I had another doctor. One which I couldn't help dislike as he seemed to give me the creeps. The doctor had introduced himself by the name of Agravaine but I knew that I wouldn't call him that. Using his name would be to personal and familiar. Arthur, too, seemed to dislike him too.

"Okay, Gwen….erm, let's look at your x-ray shall we?" He told me, holding them up to the light.

The doctor's expression was pensive and the few moments of him looking at them, I felt sick and I probably would have been if it wasn't for Arthur sitting next to me holding my hand.

"It seems as if Gaius was right. You seem to have consumption." He told me, in a matter of fact way.

The way he said it seemed to annoy me. It was almost as if he couldn't care less but my shock soon took over despite what I had said in the surgery.

"Although, there aren't any cures for Consumption. There are treatment's which can be done in order to help you to get over it." He went on to say.

Although, his tone had annoyed me, I seemed to think that if he had went for the compassionate and sympathetic root, I probably would have felt sorry for myself and I couldn't do that.

After all, feeling sorry for myself wouldn't help me in the slightest.

"You will have go into a sanatorium for treatment, of course." The doctor seemed to be telling me everything I didn't want to know even though; I would have to think about it anyway.

His words made me feel apprehensive as I know that going into sanatoriums were hardly cheap. How was I going to pay for it? I wasn't made of money.

**A/N: There you go! This chapter is the longest I have ever written so I hope you enjoy it. Okay, so TB (which a lot of you have guessed) is what Guinevere is suffering from. In the 1940's, Consumption is what a lot of people called it. Just so there's no confusion. Anyway, the NHS in Britain wasn't introduced until 1946 (Under Atlee's government) and wasn't even put in practise until 1948 meaning that Gwen will have to either pay for the treatment or get some help! **

**I think that's enough historical contexts! **

**Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I am so sorry for the delay. On the plus side, though, exams are finally over! I have a 3 week break from school for me to recover which means I will be able to focus on this fanfic, yay. Anyway, I appreciate you all hanging in with me here! In this chapter, you will be seeing Arthur's reaction. I DON'T own Merlin!**

The situation we're in seems almost like a nightmare. The ones which you desperately want up wake up from and once you have, you thank god for it! As I was staring into Guinevere's hazel eyes, the shock and terror I saw in them, made it obvious that what was happening was entirely real.

Dr Agravaine had left the two to of us alone to do something. What it was I can't particularly remember as I was much too preoccupied with worrying about Guinevere. We had then fallen into a comfortable silence, the both of us emerging ourselves in our thoughts.

Guinevere seemed to be taking in the information better than I was as it seemed obvious that, although, she was scared and shocked, she was also determined to get better. It was one of the things which endeared her to me, as it was obvious that once she had set her mind to do something she wasn't easily stopped.

I couldn't help it but I was still looking at her worriedly. Of course, I was worried about her but I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. After all, she has had a rather big shock.

After Guinevere had been told what she had, she seemed to position herself away from me and whilst it hurt, I knew why. She was worried about me catching it, too. I knew that I should have been concerned about that, too, but the moment the doctor had told us my thoughts flew straightaway to Guinevere, and definitely not myself.

I wanted to comfort her, show her that I was still there for her and most importantly, she wouldn't have to do it all alone. I just hoped she knows it.

"Are you alright, Guinevere?" I asked her, knowing full well that the question was a bit superfluous.

Guinevere gave me a wry grin and gave a sigh. I could tell she was worried about something and whilst it seemed likely it would be about her illness, I still want to know. To see if I can help her, if possible….

"Not really, Arthur, but I will be eventually." She told me, a moment or two later.

The determination I saw in her eyes was also visible in her tone and I felt a sudden rush of pride for her, then. It could have been so easy to wallow in self-pity but I could see that she was determined not to do that! She wanted to get well again.

Despite her answer, I still knew she was worrying about something. It wasn't curiosity which made me feel the need to ask but rather I wanted to do something to put her mind at rest.

"You're worried about something, Guinevere. What is it, love?" I asked her, looking for some sign that I was right.

Guinevere's eyes widened at the endearment and whilst I was aware that I was beginning to flush in embarrassment, it wasn't as if I had done it on purpose. The term had just rolled off my tongue before I could stop it.

Guinevere seemed to get over her shock and started to think over what I had asked. Although, I had been worried she wasn't going to tell me, I could sense how tired she was.

I think her tiredness made her want to get it off her chest.

"It's about going into a sanatorium…." She told me, trailing off, biting her lip in worry.

I felt guilty for bringing it up as I saw what my question had evoked in her but I had wanted to help her, not make it ten times worse.

"We'll come and visit you. Of course, we will!" I told her, trying to comfort her.

She smiled at my attempt to comfort her but she shook her head to say that wasn't the problem, and then went on to explain what was.

"It's the cost of it. I don't come from a rich family. I can't ask my dad to pay for it when it would leave him with nothing to live on. It's not fair on him!" She told me, emphatically.

At her words, I couldn't help think that her father would probably happily pay for the treatment but it seemed Guinevere wouldn't take it, if it meant her father would struggle to live.

Her concern for others had always amazed me as it seemed that even when she had other things going on; other people always came first for her. It was times like these where I wished that she was slightly more selfish.

I could see how much this was worrying her and I had a strong urge to offer to pay myself but despite the fact I had only known her for a couple of months, I knew her enough to know she would be grateful for the offer but she would ultimately refuse. She would feel uncomfortable and despite the fact, I would happily do it, I also didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

"I'll sort it out, Guinevere. Don't worry about it!" I told her, hoping she would just take my word for it and stop worrying.

Guinevere frowned at my words as she always thought I was going to pay for it but I knew that I would have elaborate.

"I've heard that city councils have a fund for people who will struggle paying sanatorium payments. I can always try and contact them!" I told her, trying to make her understand that I was going try and get her the funding whilst she would be in there.

At my words, Guinevere looked relieved and I felt almost guilty as I hadn't told her that city funds may not give her the money as they may not have enough money as there must be lots of claimants.

I knew, though, that I couldn't tell her now. I had just stopped her worrying and me telling her that would definitely make her worry again.

It was at this moment that the doctor- Agravaine- came back into the room. There was something about him which made me want to take Guinevere way from him. Something which seemed like a good idea to Guinevere, too, as I could tell he looked at her with a little much enthusiasm and interest.

"Mr Pendragon, make sure you give this letter to the superior's at the airfield. It details what Guinevere's illness is and the severity of it. It also mentions the sanatorium." His voice had a metallic note to it which seemed to grate on Guinevere and my ears but it was his use of Guinevere's name which seemed to upset me. He also handed me the letter which I quickly put in my pocket so I didn't lose it.

Although, I was nodding to what he was saying, I still didn't like him.

"Do you mind getting someone to bring Guinevere's effects to the hospital? I'm sure your superiors won't mind in the circumstances!" He told me, quickly.

This was moving too fast for my liking as I looked Guinevere to see if she was alright with what he was saying, she seemed to agree with me as she turned pale, too.

It was agreed on Guinevere to stay at the hospital for the night before being transferred to the sanatorium.

ON THE WAY HOME

Even though, I was just leaving her at the hospital, I still didn't want to leave her. Despite the fact, Guinevere was trying to put on a brave face, I could see through the façade and it was killing me.

What made the situation a whole what worse that I had accompanied Guinevere to the doctors to comfort her, to give her some reassurance not to make sure she went and I hadn't done anything like it.

The day was ending as it was quickly becoming dark and I couldn't have been walking for more than hour before the air raid siren went off. As soon as I heard it, the people around me quickened their pace and were beginning to make their way into a public shelter which couldn't have been more than fifty metres away.

As I approached the shelter, I saw the air raid warden barking out orders to people just behind me. Although, I wasn't going particularly slowly at all as I was approaching the shelter, he seemed to think I wasn't going fast enough as he saw me.

"Oi, mate! 'urry up!" He shouted to me, his Manchester accent grating on my senses. I couldn't help wonder how he got up here – to Nottinghamshire.

I half-heartedly quickened my pace but my mind was still entirely focused on Guinevere and what was happening to her.

Was she still as terrified as she first looked? Could I have helped her more?

It was about five minutes after I had entered the shelter when the scatto sound of gunfire was first heard.

**A/N: There you go! I hope you enjoy it. Next chapter will focus on Gwen's transfer and perhaps some thoughts on Arthur. **

**Please review! **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Chapter 8! I promised that I would be dedicating my time to this fic, so this is how I am by updating almost daily. Anyway, I have a poll about Guinevere on my profile so if you haven't already, please vote! I will help me with my future stories! In this chapter, Gwen will be going to the sanatorium and she will say her goodbyes to her friends. I DON'T own Merlin!**

My night at the hospital was a blur of exhaustion and fright. Although, the nurse were accommodating and obliging, I still felt scared and worried. It wasn't being hospital which scared me but the thought of not going back to the airfield did.

For some people being a WAAF would be an absolute nightmare but for me I loved being part of it. Everything about the duties I enjoyed despite the fact that the one thing which I did really want to do, we were forbidden to do. WAAF's aren't allowed to fly!

Arthur had once told me why he had joined the air force and his words I knew I would never forget as had told me, it felt like _"being absolutely and utterly free with no restraints or barriers", _it was the way he told me which made it memorable. His tone of voice for the first time since I had known him sounded almost adolescent and full of wonder. Arthur had always seemed so buttoned up and serious up to that point.

I made me realise how much being a pilot meant to him and I couldn't help but doubt that he would let anyone defer him from being one. Even the people around him….

Despite the fact it was still early in the morning, I felt no desire to rise. It was as if my body had registered that I didn't need to get up to do my duties. I could picture it so clearly in my mind. All my fellow WAAF's going into the mess hall to have breakfast some of them talking with their friends, others flirting with the pilots.

It made my heart ache at the thought. Up to now in my life, I had gone through it stumbling across problems and always feeling out of place but since I joined the WAAF not only did I gain a purpose for my life and sense of duty but also a place that I felt I belonged.

It must have been lack of sleep but I couldn't stop myself when my eyes filled with tears.

I had been put in a side room just off the ward the night before, so the only sign of someone coming was the sound of the door opening. I must have looked shocked as I saw four people come in!

Merlin, Freya, Arthur and Gwaine had all come to visit me! Each one of them looked at me worriedly but it was Gwaine and Arthur who looked the most stricken. As they all approached, I couldn't help let out a grin.

I had missed them so much even if it hadn't even been 24 hours in Arthur's case!

"Hello, Gwen! How are you? Er, sorry, that's a bit of a stupid question, wasn't it?" Freya asked me, putting the bag she had been holding on the bedside table next to me.

The three men all looked like they wanted to tell me something or say something but they had let Freya go first as she was obviously not taking the news of my illness very well.

I gave her smile showing that her question wasn't as stupid as she had thought it was. It meant that she cared and that she was worried about me.

"It's nice to see you, Freya. I'm alright, thank you for asking and no, it wasn't a stupid question!" I told her emphatically.

The men had at this point looked for seats for themselves and Freya and had now by this point, sat down and I wondered how they had all got given permission to come and see me. After all, weren't they needed at the airfield?

"How are you all here? Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad to see you all but don't they need you at the airfield?" I asked them, hoping that they didn't think I was an ungrateful so and so.

It was Gwaine who answered me but unlike Freya, he answered me with a smile. A very cheeky one at that…

"Well, the superiors gave us all a half-day pass so we could come and see you off! You must have charmed them just like the rest of us mere mortals!" He told me, his eyes twinkling.

I couldn't help let out a little laugh at the ludicrousness of his words but before I knew it, I was heaving and gasping for air as I began to cough.

I tried to look around for a handkerchief as I put my hand to my face but there wasn't one around and before I realised it, Arthur had handed me one!

I quickly covered my mouth and waited for the cough to subside. As I did so, I noticed that Arthur had shot an accusatory glare at Gwaine obviously for making me cough.

"You never change Gwaine!" I told him, as soon as I had stopped.

I didn't say it to upset Arthur as it was the truth but the way he looked to the both us was anguished which was puzzling. Arthur and I were friends just, right? Nothing more or less.

"It's so nice to see you all!" I repeated to them, desperately.

My coughing fit had made me feel even more fatigued than I was and I knew that my words were merging slightly together.

"We'll come and visit you. All the time." It was Arthur who had talked this time and his voice yet again seemed to have an effect on me.

It made me feel less worried about not seeing them again. They were my friends and I would miss them like hell!

Merlin, who hadn't talked to me directly, apart from acknowledging me, looked as worried at the rest of them. I desperately wanted to tell them that I have no intention of getting worse and that I want to be out of the sanatorium as soon as I could but I don't want make them feel uncomfortable.

Even Gwaine looked worried and concerned and it was unsettling. It was becoming obvious that whilst Gwaine seems like a joker and flirt, there's more to him. I suppose I'll just have to find out what that is, though, now.

"Would you like me to tell your father, Guinevere?" Arthur's voice broke through my musings, and I didn't straightaway know what to answer him with.

Did I really want to worry my father? Especially after what had happened with my mother?

Although, I knew I didn't, he would be more worried if we didn't tell him and he accidently founds out.

I nodded to Arthur slowly whilst giving him a thankful smile. It was such a nice gesture and it made me want to cry again at the thoughtfulness of it.

"If you don't mind. I'm sure you can get my address of Lieutenant Walker, if you say why." I told him, slowly.

Arthur must have thought that I wouldn't want my father told as he looked surprised at my words but I could tell that he was glad that I wanted him to do it. As I thought about it, I realised that I did want Arthur to be the one telling my dad. Although, Freya and Merlin are my very best friends as well as Gwaine, it seems appropriate for Arthur to tell my father. He had been with me for everything else.

The only thing that I regret is that I can't be there when they meet!

Our conversation, filled with pleasantries and each one of my friends keeping away from the topic of my consumption, went on for about half an hour before a nurse came into the room.

I half expected Gwaine to instantly start flirting with poor unsuspecting nurse, who had told me she was called Eira, the moment she had stopped walking but to my amazement, he didn't.

He was simply polite and courteous. Eira had come to tell my friends that it was time for them to leave as I was going to leave for the sanatorium in a while.

"I'm sorry but can I ask you to leave? Guinevere will be going to the sanatorium and we have to sort out her treatment plan!" Eira told them, apologetically.

They all looked saddened that they had to go so soon but they understood. As they stood up, Freya came towards me for a hug and whilst I understood why she wanted to give me one, I didn't want her to catch consumption.

I tried to edge away from her but she was determined to hug me. As her arms came around me, I stiffened in her embrace which I could see hurt her.

They all individually said good bye to me but it was Arthur who I held back for a moment so I could speak to him after they had already gone.

"Can explain to Freya about why I didn't want to hug her?" I asked him, as I knew he had seen what had happened.

To my relief, he nodded and gave me a smile full of reassurance.

"Of course, I will, Guinevere." He told me, slowly. I think he wanted to prolong talking to me.

If I'm honest, I was doing the exact same thing, too!

**A/N: There you go! I like incorporating all of the merlin characters in my fanfictions so expect all sorts. Eira was the woman to betrayed Gwaine in series 5 if I remember correctly. I don't think she's featured a lot at all.**

**Anyway, in the next chapter, Arthur will tell Tom about Guinevere's illness which hopefully, will be good!**

**Please review! (:**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I appreciate it. Anyway, like I said before, in this chapter Arthur will be visiting Tom and I also hope to reveal more about Gwen's past and her life whilst I'm doing it! I don't OWN Merlin!**

I had planned to visit Guinevere's father as soon as I could but things at the airfield were becoming busy and hectic which meant I had to wait awhile. Everyone's time and energy seemed to be focused on our training and making sure we finish the training before a certain date. Our superior's behaviour to not only me but also the WAAF's was making it seem as if something was going on.

The other pilots around me, Merlin and Gwaine, especially seemed to be absolutely oblivious to the change in their behaviour and I didn't feel the need to alert them to it. What would upsetting them achieve?

All the while, my mind was entirely focused on Guinevere. I had hoped that my worry and concern for her would decrease as soon as she went into the sanatorium as it would mean she would be getting the correct treatment but I was just as concerned as before. Was she upset? Did she feel worse? The questions kept going around in my mind.

It had only been a short while since she had been taken into the sanatorium but already so much was going on despite her absence. Merlin and Freya had finally realised that their feelings for each other was reciprocated and had begun seeing each other.

Despite the fact, that they were so loved up and absorbed in each other that they barely notice my input into conversations, I'm happy for them and I'm sure Guinevere would be, too!

Just as Guinevere had said, Lieutenant Walker had given me her address and whilst I was happy to do anything I could to help Guinevere, I was also nervous about going. I couldn't help but wish she was coming with me.

My leave had finally come and as I approached Danby Road where Guinevere lived, it didn't take me too long to discover where Guinevere's father house was. The house, although, was small as it was a terrace house, was well maintained.

After I had let out a long sigh to quell my nerves, I slowly began to knock on the door. It was only a couple minutes later before some answered.

The man looked in his late 50's as his hair was entirely grey and as I looked at him, I noticed that Guinevere had inherited his eyes (if this man was her father), as they were the same hazel colour. I didn't want to assume he was who I was looking for so I thought it wise to ask.

"Hello, sir. Are you Tom Leodegrance?" I asked the man, wanting to make sure he was Guinevere's father.

The man- who I was certain was Tom- looked at me appraisingly for a moment or two and seeing my uniform started to nod.

"That I am, son. I take it you want to speak to me?" He asked me, expectantly.

It was my turn to nod to him at his words which made Tom open the door wider and motioned for me to come in which I quickly did.

The inside of the house, which I couldn't help notice, was just as well kept as the outside as there was a pile of shoes all lined in a straight row near the coat hangers on the wall. I had found out very early on in my friendship with Guinevere that her mother had died when she was just eight years old, so I wondered whether all of the homely touches were done by her.

The thought of it brought a smile to face. It was wiped off my face when I realised that Tom was looking at me, obviously wanting an explanation for my arrival but also for me to go into the living room so we could talk.

I quickened my pace as I came into the living room so I didn't waste any more of his time.

"So? What's this about?" Tom asked me, as soon as I had sat down.

This man, who I had just met, had seemed to realise that what I would tell him wouldn't be good news as there had been a hint of wariness in his question.

I knew that me giving him a reassuring smile wouldn't help the situation which I would have normally given to Guinevere so instead I decided to come straight out with it. Or, at least try.

"My name's Arthur Pendragon. I know your daughter, Guinevere. I have some news." I told him, slowly.

I didn't want to give him too much information straightaway as I knew that Guinevere had been worried about how he would take the news and I had offered. The least I can do is make sure Tom's not too distressed by the news, if I can help it.

Tom looked surprised at my words as there was a slightly awed look on his face and I couldn't help but wonder why. Tom seemed to realise that I was curious about his awe-struck expression as I had I hadn't began talking again.

"Does Gwennie let you call her that?" He asked me, smiling slightly.

I assumed he was referring to the name 'Guinevere' and I quickly nodded to him.

"Yes, she does." I told him, honestly.

My response obviously was making him think and I knew by his reaction that there must be another reason for Guinevere to have an aversion to the name rather than simply disliking it.

"Why, is that important?" I asked Tom, after a few moments.

Tom gave me a smile at my question but instead of answering straightaway, his gaze went to a picture on the mantle. The picture was black and white and grainy and in the middle was a smiling young woman who looked suspiciously like Guinevere. But as I noticed Tom's expression which was full of sadness, I knew it was Guinevere's mother.

"Just interesting. You see, Gwen's mother was the only person Gwen ever let her call her 'Guinevere'. My daughter is a lovely girl but she hated the name with a passion and so she was always insisted to be just 'Gwen' when she met people. After her mother died, it seemed she'd never let someone call her Guinevere again." Tom eventually told me.

As he told me it, I could see how much Guinevere's mothers passing had hurt Tom and I couldn't help feel sorry for him. Even more so with what I'm going to tell him!

Tom seemed to realise that I had news to tell him as he looked at me again and I knew that I had to tell him despite the hurt I knew my news would cause to him.

"Your daughter's ill. I talked to her a couple of days ago and she wanted for me to tell you as she's been taken into a sanatorium. She didn't want you to worry…" I couldn't help trail off as I noticed how Tom was taking the news.

Tom's face had become a ghastly pale and he had a horror stricken expression on his face.

"What's wrong with her?" Tom asked me, tentatively.

It was almost as if he wanted to make sure what she had wasn't serious but he was scared if it was. Either way, his fear was justified.

"She's got consumption." The minute the words were out of my mouth I knew Tom's worry had increased.

Tom who had been standing the entire time we had been talking had now taken a seat. The action reminded me of how old he was as he looked frail and upset.

"Don't worry, sir, she'll be alright. Your daughter, she's a fighter!" I told him, very much trying to re-assure him as well as myself at the same time.

Tom smiled at my words and I could see he agreed with me whole-heartedly.

"Thank you for telling me, Mr Pendragon." His thanks weren't needed and I didn't really deserve them anyway.

It was my duty as Guinevere's friend to try and help her despite my feelings. Anyone would want to do that. I tried to convey that in my words but I don't think I did it very well.

"It's not necessary to thank me, sir, if I can help Guinevere in any way then I will and if coming and see you is a way of doing that, I'll happily do it." I told him, sincerely.

At my words, Tom had a knowing look on his face and I wondered if I had said too much and I just hoped that I didn't.

"How long have been in love with my daughter, Mr Pendragon?" He asked me, making me stare at him in astonishment.

**A/N: There you go! You'll have to wait to see how Arthur responds to Tom's question. I hope you like the fact I've made her preferring to be called Gwen rather Guinevere not too annoying. In some fanfictions, Gwen's mothers death doesn't even get mentioned yet I wanted her mother to be very much part of how she's been forced to grow up quicker than anything. **

**If you have any questions about where I'm going with this, don't hesitate to PM. **

**Please review! (:**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! They are very encouraging. I'm glad that most of you liked the conversation with Tom and Arthur. In this chapter, Gwen will be at the sanatorium. Like I've said before, I enjoy playing with the characters and including them in my fanfic, so there will be a few more popular faces. This will be set after the conversation has taken place. I don't OWN merlin. **

The nurses, the doctors and my fellow patients were all lovely to me but I still was missing my friends. The doctor had told me when I had arrived that they wouldn't be able to see me for a week or two given my illness. He wanted me to try and get a little better first. Although, I didn't grumble about it, I wasn't pleased! I, also, knew that it was because of the danger of them catching my illness, too.

Anyway, I only have a couple more days before they can come and see me but even then I would have to wait until they have leave. I knew, of course, that they might have their own families to see instead, Arthur, especially, as he had done so much for me already.

It seemed almost as if I had decamped to my bed as soon as I had arrived at the sanatorium and whilst it gave my body a chance of a break, I was not only becoming bored but in a way, it made me feel even more fatigued than I actually was. The doctor had forbidden me from getting out of bed for any other reason but to go to the toilet or to collect something…

He had prescribed me absolute bed rest which had been a shock. When I was at the airfield, the days were often tiring and long and whilst it had been difficult and almost impossible at times doing all the jobs, you would always get a sense of satisfaction afterwards.

Being continually in bed was so different not only that it was due to it being imposed on me but I've always been an active person.

"Gwen, I can almost hear you thinking from over here…" One of the nurses commented, smiling as she came up to me.

The nurse, whose name had slipped my mind for a moment, was brilliant. Not only was she immensely kind but she always seemed to understand the frustration I was feeling about being in bed. She was the kind of person who goes out of their way to help people and despite the fact, I had just arrived, she was instantly attentive and caring. In a comforting way, she reminded me of Freya. Even if she didn't look like her as Freya is brunette and she is blonde.

I noticed that she had a letter in her hand which was probably why she had come in my room as well as to check that I was actually still in bed. A doctor, who I had asked if being in bed was necessary, had obviously thought I would scarper.

"There's a letter here for you, Gwen. It's just come." The nurse told me, handing me the letter.

In my gratitude, I remembered her name and as I took the letter gave a small, slightly apologetic smile.

"Thank you, Morgause. Do you think I can have visitors soon?" I asked her, my attention fully on her.

I could tell she saw how much I missed my friends as she looked at me sympathetically before she answered me.

"The doctor said about two weeks' time. You've been here just under a week and a half. So, about 4 days, I should think." She told me, almost regretfully.

I wanted to check, of course, as I didn't want to get my hopes up. After all, I would need to keep positive and happy to get well again.

Morgause was still at the side of my bed as she was re-arranging the bed covers so it would be more comfortable for me and as she did so, I couldn't help but feel ungrateful. Despite the fact I hadn't vocally mentioned how much being bed was annoying and frustrating me as I knew it was to help me, I knew it was kind of obvious.

"I'm not dealing with all this very well, am I? I'm sorry." I told her, quietly.

Morgause looked at me when I said this but the soft, understanding expression on her face made me think that perhaps she didn't think I was an ungrateful person. I hoped she didn't.

"On the contrary, Gwen. You've had a lot to deal with. Being in bed and not being able to move around after having such an active role in this war must be hard. It won't be for too long, though…. As soon as long we make sure you are properly rested with a good, nutritional diet you can become more active." She told me, as she sat in the chair opposite.

I knew, of course, that once I was more active more evasive treatment would start happening. I had heard some of the treatments which were supposed to be brand new and that it was places like these, were they were being tested.

The thought put dread into me. Of course, I want to be well again but would I have that much courage? I don't know.

"I'll let you read your mail in peace, Gwen. I'll come back in a bit to see if you need anything." Morgause told me, as she was looking at me before walking away.

I couldn't help but smile at her words and when I opened my letter my smile was still on my face.

The words I quickly took in but it was the ending at the bottom that I couldn't stop looking at as it was from Arthur.

"_Dearest Guinevere__,"_ it read, Arthur's hand looked immensely manly but nevertheless I liked the look of it. I still couldn't believe it was from Arthur for some reason.

"_I have spoken to your father just like I said I would. He was, initially, shocked and worried about you but I did try and comfort him. Your father seemed a lovely man, Guinevere. I enjoyed meeting him; I just wish it had been under better circumstances. Anyway, everyone at the airfield seems to be missing you. Everyone from your closest friends to Mithian….. She seems rather upset by your absence and I can't help but feel sorry for her. _

_After all, everyone who knows you can't help but miss you. Even Mordred asked after you the other day and I didn't even know if you were friends with him or not but he seemed concerned. It's odd but whilst life at the airfield seems to be going on, your absence is everywhere I look. Gwaine, I know, seems to be very much affected by your absence. I also need to tell you something I know you'll be happy about. Merlin and Freya. They have finally realised they belong together! I'm so happy for them but I wish you were here to share in the joy as Freya and Merlin miss you, too! I have also sorted out the payment for the sanatorium and please don't worry, Guinevere, I have talked to the council and they are happy to pay for it._

_I'll come and visit but I'll write before then, _

_Your friend, _

_Arthur." _

The way Arthur had written the note had somehow made me burst into tears. I couldn't help wonder whether he wanted to convey how much people were missing me but the letter did. Whilst it seemed they had been missing me, I had missed them myself.

The news about Merlin and Freya had indeed made me happy as I always knew they were destined to be together as soon as I had met them both but like Arthur had said, I would have preferred to with them all.

Arthur's letter had made me feel less isolated than I had been feeling before and I was glad for it. It also made me realise that it wasn't about being in bed which was frustrating me but also that I was hearing nothing about what was going on outside the sanatorium.

In that moment, I felt a sudden surge of affection for Arthur and although, the letter probably didn't mean that much to him, it was my connection to my friends and to a certain extent, my father.

As I tenderly clutched the letter, I was still crying. Thank God, I had my own room; it would have been so embarrassing! Morgause, who had been passing the door at that moment, looked concerned and immediately asked what was wrong.

"Nothing's the matter, Morgause. Do you mind fetching me pen and paper? I would like to write a letter, please." By this time, my tears seemed to be abating but I still felt both happy and emotional.

Morgause quickly nodded her head and went in search for a pad of paper and a pen. It seemed a while before she came back and whilst I didn't mind as my thoughts were still on the letter and its contents, I was also impatient to reply to Arthur.

When she did come back, with them in her hands, I quickly thanked her as she gave me them before starting my letter. For some reason, Morgause was smiling as I did so, as I could see she understood why the letter had meant so much to me.

The letter had made being here less gloomy and I was feeling less frustration and unhappy. Even if I did want to see Arthur and Merlin and Freya, in person it was still a start. One I wouldn't have had if it hadn't has been for Arthur.

**A/N: There you go! I hope to reveal what Arthur said to Tom in the next chapter but also Guinevere's letter to him as well! I hope you enjoyed it.**

**Please Review (:**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Chapter 11. In this chapter, you are going to find out about the rest of Arthur's conversation with Tom as well as Guinevere's reply to Arthur's letter. Thanks for all the reviews, I really do appreciate them. I don't OWN Merlin! **

_FLASHBACK_

_I must have looked like a fish as my mouth opened and closed for a while before I answered Tom. It wasn't that I didn't know what to tell him it was just that I didn't want him to get a wrong impression of me. After all, he was the father of the woman I love! He wasn't just some random stranger. He was much more important than that. _

_From the moment, I had met him it was obvious that he was a brilliant father as he had asked the question, his tone full of protectiveness; I knew he wouldn't just let me declare my devotion for his daughter like that. In a way, I was glad. It gave me the chance of whilst being tentative about my feelings; I could also admit what I feel to him. _

"_Yes, I do, sir. Very much so. " I told him, honestly. _

_Tom didn't particularly look shocked by my admission as he nodded to me after a few seconds. I could tell he was thinking about what I had said and I couldn't help but hope that he would believe me. _

"_I thought so. How long have you loved my daughter?" He told me, looking me straight in my face. _

_Despite his words, I still felt that I had to prove my feelings for Guinevere as I could tell that he wanted to know whether I was serious or not. _

"_From the first moment I saw her, sir." I wanted to be honest with him and I had been. It wasn't too much longer after I had seen her when I realised that something had changed. _

_Every time I closed my eyes, there Guinevere would be and when I was awake she was always in my thoughts. I would have been an idiot not to realise I did love her!_

_I was an idiot, in one way, as I had tried to focus on being a pilot and doing my job and so I tried to pretend my feelings didn't matter or they didn't exist but it had become so difficult. _

_It had become difficult trying to pretend that I wasn't jealous every time I saw Gwaine and Guinevere together and it had become too difficult trying not to care about her. _

"_You probably don't really believe I love Guinevere, sir, but I really do! I have tried to focus on the war and everything but I can't. Guinevere doesn't know about my feelings for her and at the moment, all that matters is Guinevere getting better." I told him, passionately. _

_Tom seemed to realise that I really meant what I was saying as he had a faraway expression on his face and I wondered if he was thinking about his wife. _

_We then lapsed into an uncomfortable silence and when Tom broke it, I inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. _

"_I can see you love my daughter but something's bothering you I can tell…" He trailed off, thinking. _

_He was right, of course, I did but could I confide in him about how Guinevere's money worries?_

_As I looked at him, I knew I didn't have a choice. After all, it was his daughter it concerns. _

"_Guinevere's worried about how she's going to pay for the sanatorium and I told her I would try and sort it. I would have offered but she would have refused it because of the cost." I told him, hoping he would be able to help me._

_Tom seemed to realise that Guinevere didn't want to ask him to pay and his next words confirmed it. _

"_And she didn't want to ask me because she knows it would mean I would have only a little to live on!" Tom's words weren't a question but more of a statement. _

_I nodded to him and he let out a frustrated sigh. I could see he was hurt that Guinevere didn't want him to help her. _

"_Surely she knows I would give my life's breath for her, I would give all my money in a heartbeat!" He told me, desperately._

_I had a sudden urge yet again to comfort him and I thought the way of doing it would be tell him that she knows that. _

"_I'm sure she knows that! I just don't know what to do, though." I told him._

_Tom, at my words, started to think and what he told me made me look in surprise. _

"_Gwennie has always thought about other people first and if you want to help her. Try to! The council gives out grants for people like me and Gwennie so why don't you go and talk to them. If they say yes, you will be helping Gwennie but if they say no (which they probably will do) why don't you ask Gwen about paying?" His words gave me an idea, one which I knew he wouldn't approve of. _

_If they say no, what if I lie? My conscience niggled at me telling me it was wrong but surely I would be doing for the right reasons?_

_END OF FLASHBACK_

I had hoped that I wouldn't have to lie but I knew Guinevere wouldn't let me help her so, I did. I had talked to Merlin and Freya about it and whilst Merlin seemed to agree with me about it being a 'white lie' and that Guinevere would understand, Freya didn't!

She seemed to think that Guinevere would be upset to find out about the lie and whilst her words had truth, I didn't want to think she was right. After all, I was only trying to help.

The letter I had written to feel closer to Guinevere had been so hard to write. I was so tempted to tell her how I felt despite how inappropriate it would have been. I suppose once I had gotten going, all of my feelings seemed to spill out.

I had wanted to show how much she had been missed but it just made her absence bigger for me as the letter got me thinking. About her absence, about Gwaine's pinning for her, about my feelings and more importantly what I wanted to do about them.

At breakfast, I found out I had gotten a letter from Guinevere and whilst I was overjoyed that she had taken the time to write back, I was worried about what she had written.

Merlin had become annoyed with my constant fidgeting and nervousness and told me to read it.

"Arthur, just go and read the letter! It can't have any bad news!" He told me, across the dinner table.

At his words, I quickly went to the barracks and found the letter. As I perched on my bed, I opened the letter quickly.

"_Dear Arthur_," the letter started off, making me marvel at her words. I imagined her voice speaking to me.

"_Thank you for your letter. I appreciate the thought. I must admit that I have been missing the airfield more than I ever wanted to or thought I would. Your words have helped me in more ways you can ever imagine. The sanatorium isn't a bad place as the staff (on the most part) is exceedingly lovely, one nurse who's called Morgause has been absolute god-send and I would love for you to meet her. The doctor has prescribed me a healthy diet as well as complete and utter bed rest and I have to admit, I haven't coped very well. Being in bed constantly has been frustrating as I didn't have any contact with the outside world. This is where your letter helped me. All the news made me feel as if I'm still connected to the airfield and you guys there. I'm sorry, if I'm depressing you but for some reason I feel as if you will understand what I'm talking about. Well- I hope you do. I was, also, pleased to read about Merlin and Freya and if you don't mind can you tell them that "it's about time." I can't wait to see you and everyone else. _

_Thank you for your letter, again!_

_Your affectionate friend, _

_Guinevere"._

I was laughing, frowning, smiling throughout her letter but I was glad that I had helped even if it was in such a small way as writing her a letter.

Throughout the letter, I could almost hear her speaking to me and it comforted me and I knew then that I had been stupid feeling nervous about it's contents!

The letter had also made me determined to go and visit her at the earliest opportunity possible as I could tell she was lonely and the thought made my heart ache for her even if, this Morgause woman has been a god-send.

**A/N: Here you go! Sorry, this is quite wordy. In the next chapter, I hope to have a little bit of friction between Gwaine and Arthur about Guinevere and there continued correspondence.**

**I hope you will enjoy this! **

**Please review! **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I did realise that this was supposed to be from Gwen's chapter but I have decided to change the POV from this point in the story to Arthur as there are going to be some major events coming up! Don't worry, though, you will still be given information about Gwen either through Arthur's POV but also through the letters! As promised, there will be some tension between Gwaine and Arthur. I hope you enjoy it! I don't OWN Merlin!**

Arthur's POV

In the days that followed, Guinevere and I continued writing to each other. I enjoyed every letter I received from her and I hope she felt the same as well. By this time, though, Guinevere could receive visitors and whilst I was desperate to go and visit, I would have to wait until my next leave.

This wouldn't be until at least two weeks' times, which were both frustrating and a relief at the same time. After all, something was brewing in the skies and I would be an absolute an idiot not to notice something was going on. The superiors could have suspended leave because of it.

That seemed unlikely, though. If they did suspend leave they would have to say why and it seemed as if they want to keep it quiet for some reason. It wasn't just me noticing the problems anymore. Merlin, too, seemed to sense something was up which was interesting in itself but also numerous others as well.

To say tensions at the airfield were heightened would be an absolute understatement. Everyone seemed to be snapping at the people around them (everyone I talked to, anyway) which meant I tried not to get involved in any arguments.

Gwaine, on the other hands, seemed determined to annoy me and get me to snap at him. Every time Guinevere's name was mentioned he made it his business to comment on it. He even dared to ask me about Tom!

It wasn't just that I was jealous about his feelings for Guinevere; it was his playful manner which seemed to rub me up the wrong way. Could the man take anything seriously? It seemed he couldn't.

Breakfast and dinner was the only time where the WAAF's and we pilots were able to talk and socialise and I must admit it was the time where I really did miss Guinevere, especially, when I saw Merlin and Freya so loved up. Our little group almost, at times, seemed incomplete. The feeling seemed to be exaggerated by Gwaine's constant presence as he seemed to be always around us wanting information about Guinevere.

"Have you got another letter from Gwen today, Arthur?" Merlin asked me, as soon as we had sat down.

I nodded to him, smiling. Freya wasn't with us as she hadn't come in for breakfast but to my annoyance Gwaine was with us.

"Why has Gwen been writing to YOU?" Gwaine asked me, incredulously.

Although, I wanted to believe Gwaine didn't mean it how he had said it, I couldn't. He had made it seem as if Guinevere writing to me was almost like a miracle. When I did answer his question, my tone was slightly harsher than I would have liked.

"Because we're friends. We want to keep in contact." I told him, holding my spoon viciously. I was slightly thankful, despite my anger, that I wasn't having Bacon! Imagine what having a knife could do!

Gwaine looked annoyed and angry at my words as he had totally stopped eating entirely and his attention was solely on me.

"Just because you talk with doesn't mean she's friends with you!" He spat out, angrily.

Merlin was at this point tactfully staying out of it and this point; I was too enraged to care. Gwaine's words hadn't just hurt and angered me but also had struck a little too close to home.

I had thought Gwaine was my friend once but given his behaviour to me, it was very obvious that I had been utterly and entirely mistaken.

"I know, Gwaine, that you don't understand the concept of being friends with a lady as you only want to get into the lady's undergarments but it doesn't extend to everyone, you know!" I told him, angrily. I was becoming angrier by the second and I didn't care what I was saying to him.

However I wanted Gwaine to react to my implication, the fury and anger he responded with definitely shocked the people by us.

Gwaine had stood up the instant I had said it with his fists clenched by the side of him. I had the faint suspicion that was the only reason he hadn't hit me yet.

Nevertheless, I had also stood up trying to show him that I wasn't scared of him and that I was just as angry as him.

Merlin, at this point, had now decided to step and at this point, I was becoming annoyed with him for doing so.

"Stop it! The both you. If Gwen was here, she'd be ashamed of the both you…" He told us, also standing up.

The both of us looked ashamed at the mention of Guinevere but we were still angry with the other but after a couple of moments we reluctantly sat back down.

Merlin looked slightly happier as we did and also re-took his place at the table. He did look a little worried, though, almost as if he was expecting us to start arguing again. As I looked at Gwaine and saw him looking satisfied, I had to divert my attention from him in order to stop myself from lunging across the table and punching him!

If I did that the superiors would probably stop my leave and as much as I wanted to smash his head in, I want to visit Guinevere desperately.

So as a result, I started eating my porridge again even if I was eating it quite viciously.

It was about 10 minutes later before Freya came in for breakfast and the atmosphere was still quite tense so admittedly, she was puzzled with our behaviour.

She started looking at all of us and seeing that something was up, immediately asked what was wrong.

"What on earth is going on?" She asked us all.

We all made non-committal sounds and Freya seeing we were not in any mood to give her any information reluctantly went back to eating her breakfast.

As she did so, it looked as if she was muttering. It sounded almost as if she said "wouldn't be like this if Gwen was here!" which I couldn't help but agree with.

If she had been here, we would never have been at each other's throats and whilst I felt guilty, it was obvious that it had been brewing for a long time. It wasn't as if it was a surprise.

Gwaine had been winding me up for a long time and whilst I had been doing the same, I didn't need to respond to it.

The sudden guilty feeling that I was feeling was taking my appetite away so I abruptly said goodbye. Merlin and Freya both said goodbye but Gwaine was obviously still angry with me so he only glared at me.

It had about 15 minutes before we were needed in the hangers so I decided to go and read the letter which had come from Guinevere. Hopefully, it would make me feel calmer.

I opened it and I started reading intently. My attention entirely on what Guinevere had written.

"_Dearest Arthur, _

_Thank you for your letter. It's sort of become a routine writing to you. I hope you don't mind. It's helped me fill some of my time. The doctors and Morgause yesterday told me that I could finally get out of bed as they did some tests the day before and there seems to be a slight improvement in my lungs. To say I'm relieved to be out and about is a VERY big understatement. You should see the grounds here, they are absolutely beautiful, and I've also taken to making a tour of them some days. _

_The doctor's seem approve as long as I don't tire myself out. Don't worry, Arthur, I won't do that! After all, Morgause and Percival (a fellow patient) are taking a prodigious amount of care of me. My father came to visit me yesterday and he was talking about you. He seemed to like you and I can't help but feel glad!_

_I was worried how it would go but you made an impression on him, certainly. A good one, though. You can probably tell that I'm having a good day since how long the letter is but I want to tell you all about my day and what's going on. I still miss the airfield and of course, you guys! I hope you can visit soon as I'm sure I've aged since I last saw you. Has anything interesting been going on at the airfield? Do you mind giving Freya my love?_

_I'd better go, my dinner is being served and surprisingly, I feel quite hungry!_

_Love, _

_Guinevere."_

She sounded better. In the past days, she had sounded melancholic but suppose a visit from her dad made her happier…I would visit her tomorrow if I could.

I felt even more ashamed for goading Gwaine after Guinevere's letter. It had reminded me that my feelings for her although, was important, what was more important was Guinevere herself.

But the incident with Gwaine had shown me something I probably should have realised before. Gwaine loves her, too! Before I had hoped he would become bored chasing her but if I don't do anything, Gwaine will make his move.

The only way I wouldn't lose Guinevere is by fighting for her and that's what I intend to do!

**A/N:**__**There you go! I really enjoyed writing this chapter for some reason! There is going to be more tension, jealousy coming up as I have a certain chapter planned! Involving Gwaine serenading a certain woman! (I think that's a spoiler enough) I hope you enjoyed this. **

**Please review! :)**__


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. In this chapter, Tom will make a visit to the airfield and hopefully, he will meet Gwaine. Whether he likes or dislikes him, will up to your own interpretations. This will set up both Arthur's visit to Gwen in the next chapter but also Gwaine's behaviour. I don't OWN Merlin!**

We were all counting down the days until we have our leave so we can visit Guinevere. Freya had asked whether we wanted to go together so we could share a taxi. I suspected she wanted to get me and Gwaine talking again as we had suddenly stopped talking to each other after our little incident. It was Gwaine, of course, who had stopped talking to me but I suppose he was trying to prove a point. When I had called Freya up on her idea, she gave me the explanation of how expensive taxis are.

She was right, of course, she were but I was going to have to go and visit my father at the same time so I didn't want to have to put them all out as my father lives at the other end of Nottinghamshire meaning that it would be well into the day before they would see Guinevere. So, I told her that I would like to go alone.

I had another reason for wanting to go alone, though; I want to talk to her on my own. I know it's selfish as there are so many people who want to go and see her but I suppose I at least want my chance to tell her how I feel.

I would have liked to have waited until she was out of the sanatorium but it wasn't as if I was unsure about my feelings as I absolutely sure that I loved her and if by my admission, Guinevere feels uncomfortable or she doesn't feel the same way, I will back off. For at least the time being, anyway.

"Pendragon. There's a man at the gate asking for you." Lieutenant Walker told me, coming out of his office.

Normally, visitors aren't exactly welcomed cordially by Lieutenant Walker so who the visitor was must have caused such a non-hostile welcome must be important.

I quickly left the hanger and the aircraft I was looking at and I quickly made my way to the gate.

As I approached the gate, I noticed the man standing against the post. The man looked tired and as I came closer, I recognised the man. It was Tom!

"Hello, sir. What brings you here?" I asked him, smiling.

Tom was such a nice man that I liked talking to him and I had a lot of respect for him but I hoped he didn't have any bad news about Guinevere.

"I saw Gwennie yesterday…" He told me, trailing off. It seemed that he was thinking about how to word something.

"…She seemed happier than she has been. I was glad to hear from Gwen that you took my advice about the funding. I went to the council depot to find out the details in case we need them in the future, and they didn't have any record of it." He explained to me, frowning.

Although, he didn't seem mad at me, I knew he had figured it all out. I just hope he wouldn't think any less of me when I explain it to him.

"I did go and see the council but they had already filled their quota, sir. They said 'no' straightway. I desperately wanted to give Guinevere some piece of mind. I know I shouldn't have lied to her but I knew she would disagree about me paying the bills for her. I just wanted to help her!" I told him, passionately.

Tom, at my words, looked sympathetic but I knew he did disagree with what I had done. After all, lying is lying no matter what it is for.

"You should tell her, Arthur. If you keep up the pretence and she finds out, she will be angry at you and believe me, although, Gwennie is such a lovely girl, she may not speak to you for quite a while!" He told me, wisely.

I nodded at his words and whilst I knew he was right, I was also thinking how I would admit it without making it seem as if I did it without thinking about the consequences.

"I definitely will, sir. I didn't mean to lie to your daughter. It just kind of happened." I told him, hoping that he understood what I was saying.

He, yet again, nodded to me but this time I saw how tired he looked to. I wanted to ask if he was alright but before I asked, he started talking to me again.

"You can call me Tom, you know, Arthur! All this 'sir' is making me feel old." He told me, smiling.

At his words, I couldn't help but smile at his words. Did it mean that he believed me?

"Are you going to visit her soon? She's definitely missed you and the airfield." He told me, jerking his head in the direction of the airfield.

I emphatically nodded at his words and I whilst I was going to visit in about 2 or 3 days' time, his words made it seem as if that wasn't fast enough.

"Of course, sir. Erm, Tom. Just try and stop me. There's a few of us who's going to visit her." I told him, thinking of all the people who were interested in when the visiting times were.

We had only been talking a couple of minutes but before Tom could reply to what I had said, Gwaine had come out telling me Lunch was being served. I wondered whether he knew who I was actually talking to.

"Arthur, lunch is being served; Merlin thought I should tell you." He told me, quickly.

I'm not sure he noticed that I was actually talking to someone as he hadn't introduced himself. Yet.

However, Gwaine quickly saw I was talking to someone as he then introduced himself with his trademark smile.

"I'm Gwaine, sir." Gwaine told Tom, simply.

Tom looked at Gwaine in interest and his introduction to Gwaine showed it.

"I'm Tom. Gwen's father." He told, Gwaine watching his reaction.

Gwaine did, indeed, react to his words as he not only looked shocked by his admission but also he looked slightly nervous. He obviously didn't know that I knew Gwen's father.

"It's nice to meet you, sir. Do you know how your daughter is?" Gwaine asked Tom, politely. Almost too politely…

Don't get me wrong, Gwaine and politeness is hardly a foreign concept but as soon as Tom had admitted to being Guinevere's father, Gwaine had instantly become a model of decorum.

Tom seemed to notice the reaction to his words but nevertheless, he answered him.

"She seemed a little better when I visited her yesterday. Are you friends with my Gwennie?" Tom asked him, waiting for his answer.

At his words, Gwaine glanced to me before answering Tom's question. I had a sinking feeling I knew were what he was going to say.

"Yes, I am, sir. You could say we are pretty close." He told Tom.

Despite the fact, I could see Tom looking at Gwaine with renewed interest as soon as Gwaine had uttered the last sentence; I wanted to see Tom's reply to Gwaine's words.

"I see." Tom muttered to Gwaine.

Although, the smell of the food from the mess hall was filtering down towards us, I had no desire to go inside. That would mean I would stop listening to the conversation which was unfolding in front of me.

Gwaine, on the other hand, seemed annoyed by my presence and he shot me a look as he said: "Aren't you going in to eat, Arthur?"

I knew Tom was watching my reply but I quickly replied to Gwaine with ease.

"Yes, I had better go in. Goodbye, Tom. I'll see you soon." I told Tom, as I turned to go.

Before I did move to go, however, Tom said goodbye too.

"Goodbye, son. Remember what we talked about, mhm?" Tom reminded me.

I quickly nodded before I made my way into the mess hall which wasn't too far from the gate.

As soon as I had entered the mess hall, I soon spotted Freya and Merlin talking with each other. They seemed to be absolutely enraptured with each other's company but despite that, they noticed me approaching them.

If I had approached them a week ago, I would have been lucky to be noticed after an hour. Well, they are in love. You can't blame them.

"Where were you?" Merlin asked me, as soon as I sat down.

I shook my head at the spam on my plate and turned my attention back to Merlin.

"I was talking to Guinevere's father. He came to talk to me." I told them both. Although, only Merlin had asked I was sure Freya wanted to know, too.

Merlin looked even more curious at my words and I knew he was going ask why he had but before he could, I stopped him.

"He came to talk to about the, er, little lie." I told them, hoping Freya wouldn't use the phrase 'I told you so!'

Freya seemed to understand that I didn't want her to say it so she tactfully didn't but I knew it was coming.

"Oh. Did he tell you to tell Gwen the truth?" Merlin asked me, watching me pick at the food on my plate.

My answer was immediate and full of irritation but it wasn't aimed at Merlin but me. After all, I knew Guinevere would be upset with me.

"Of course, he did. What kind of father would let someone purposely lie to their daughter!?" Merlin looked slightly hurt by tone and I felt a pang of guilt.

What I had done by lying was my fault and definitely not Merlin's!

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for!" I told him, sighing.

Merlin seemed to accept my apology as he look slightly happier but his next words reminded me of how wise he is.

"It's fine. You're not the only one acting unusual. Gwaine is as well!" He told me, watching Gwaine coming in the mess hall.

As I looked at Gwaine as he approached, I couldn't help agree with him!

**A/N: There you go! I hope you enjoy this. I have another story which is Leon/Guinevere which is set after the series finale which I would love to know your opinions on so, if you have the time make sure you have a look!**

**Anyway, please review! (And tell me who you'd let Gwen be with if you were Tom)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I have very much enjoyed reading all of your comments and thoughts and for each one I read, I agreed with! So, I have a feeling Gwen will get the right man for her. This chapter will be from Arthur's POV but the next one will be from Gwen's so you all get to see Gwaine serenading her! I hope you enjoy it! I don't OWN Merlin! Only Mrs Holloway. **

Merlin, Freya and Gwaine had all set out extra early from the airfield to go and visit Guinevere and despite my desire to see her alone; it seemed weird to be going to see her at different times. If anything, I was scared about what Gwaine would tell her!

I knew Gwaine was up to something. More than he usually was but this time, I just hoped I wasn't included! His pranks and jokes on Mithian had gone down like a lead balloon and given Guinevere's health, it wouldn't be prudent to allow him to do something too outrageous.

As I stepped out of the taxi I had hired, I looked at my home. When I was a child I had thought my home was not just an imposing eyesore but also a terrifying one at that. There always seemed to be places where I could get lost and hurt despite the fact, my father often forbade me from going in the 'grander' rooms.

For a ten year old boy (which is how old I was when we moved in), I felt inadequate to be living in the place. It was more of a mansion than a house.

As I spotted the house keeper, Mrs Holloway standing by the front door, I knew my father would be told straightaway about my arrival and there was absolutely no use of putting off. After all, he would simply ask me why I had done it as soon as I step in the hall.

As I approached Mrs Holloway, she coldly acknowledged me. I wasn't hurt by her less than cordial greeting. For some reason, she had never taken to me and whilst I had tried to believe that I hadn't done anything to warrant it, I probably had. Anything from breaking a vase to being impertinent could have done it.

"Arthur, your father is just talking to a guest. If you don't mind waiting in the hall!" Mrs Holloway told me, stiffly.

I simply nodded to her. My father was a man of great importance and I was used to having share him. Throughout the years I had grown accustomed to it. When I was younger, there would be things to occupy my time so my father's absence wasn't as noticeable and when I was fully grown, his absence seemed to continue.

"Very well, Mrs Holloway. It's nice to see you again!" I told her, as she opened the front door for me.

She looked slightly shocked by my admission and I couldn't really blame her. Despite the fact she hated me, she had never treated me in a way which she could have been dismissed for. I think, in a way, she had assumed the feeling was mutual.

What she didn't realise was that even though, the house and herself didn't exactly hold happy memories for me, I still thought of the place as home and she's a part of that. It would be weird if she wasn't as she had seen me grow up.

As I made my way to the hall, I noticed nothing had changed in the front of the house. It was still immaculately clean and well kept. It was if nothing had changed.

So many things had, though. Not just with me but with everyone outside the house, too. I started to think about Guinevere and her father when I noticed father come into the hall with a young lady.

They were saying their goodbyes. As I looked to the lady, I realised I had seen her before. The lady was beautiful as she had long raven hair but there was something about her which was niggling to me that I had seen her before.

As she walked past me muttering a faint "Goodbye", I realised where I had seen her. She was Dr Gaius' secretary. Why was she talking to father? Probably getting some advice I reasoned.

Father, at this point, had turned his attention to me. He had never been one for showing emotions too much and whilst he did occasionally, it was only just on Mother's birthday. For some reason, though, he started to smile at me before coming towards me.

"Hello, Arthur." He told me, rather happily.

His behaviour was unsettling to say the least. I hadn't been expecting such a welcome. After all, I had disobeyed him by joining the RAF. I at least expected him to try and convince me to give it up.

"Father." I nodded.

It was long after that Father asked Mrs Holloway for some tea as we made our way into our living room. Father was acting as if I was his long lost son rather than the estranged son he had always thought I was.

What had brought about this change? My father seemed happier than he had done but there was something else about my father's behaviour. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"So, what have you been up to Arthur?" Father asked me, as I sat down.

My answer was brief and to the point as I knew that if I spouted off about all my duties and what I was learning about, he may not be as happy as he was at the moment.

"Just doing my training. Learning about the aircraft I will be flying and the practical side of it." I told him.

Our conversation over the next hour didn't touch on anything important but our conversations had always been like it. Every time we actually did talk about something of any importance it normally ended in an argument.

"Something's wrong, Arthur. You can't lie to me and you know it. You're too much like your mother!" Father suddenly told me, when we had both become silent.

His words made me smile. I wasn't particularly bothered that he realised that something was up with me. After all, I'm not the best at hiding my emotions but I couldn't help but smile when he mentioned my mother.

Mother was rarely mentioned by my father and whilst I was growing up, I knew that I shouldn't ask him about her even though, I desperately wanted to.

I had only been a one year old child when my mother had died of cancer, so I don't remember anything about her. I suppose if I did it would have given me a way of having a connection to her and I wouldn't have been as curious.

Father wasn't a fool and he had never been. He seemed to know exactly how I was feeling every time I saw him. So, I knew lying to him wasn't even an option.

"I've fallen in love, Father. With the most incredible woman…." I told him trailing off, thinking about Guinevere.

Father looked at me in shock for a couple of minutes and I couldn't blame him. I had never been in love before and I had never spoken of someone so passionately to my father before.

"How is that bad?" He asked me, frowning.

I could practically see the cogs going around in Father's head and I knew I would have to explain the situation to him fully. Knowing him, he probably thinks it's with someone unsuitable.

"It's not bad, Father. It's complicated. Guinevere was a WAAF at the airfield I'm stationed at and I fell for her straightaway. I did try, Father, to forget about what I was feeling but I couldn't. Before too long, though, Guinevere became ill. After some encouragement, I convinced her to go and see a Doctor and she got diagnosed with TB." I told him, hoping to God that I had made the right choice in telling him.

Father looked upset at my words and I couldn't tell if it was because of whom I had fallen for or that she was ill.

"Is she alright?" He asked me, somewhat timidly.

By the way he had asked me, I knew he was thinking about Mother and I couldn't help feel a little guilty about bringing up bad memories for him.

"She was taken into a sanatorium so she's not fully recovered but she's getting better." I explained to him.

My father looked at me expectantly as he seemed to realise that my little story wasn't at an end and whilst I knew he was waiting until it was to pass judgment I knew he would tell me whether he thought Guinevere was a 'worthy' woman!

"Guinevere had been worrying about the payment for the sanatorium and I told her that I would sort it out for her. I went to the council and asked them for a grant-"It was at this point that Father butted in.

"They turned your request down." He exclaimed. He had obviously realised where the story was going.

I nodded to him, softly.

"Yes, they did. I wanted to help Guinevere and I knew that the payment was really worrying her and I knew that if I sorted it out for her, it would be at least one problem being taken care of. Guinevere's not the type of woman to take money of someone simply because she needs it. She would have thought of it as charity. I ended up lying to her about it…. and I'm paying for it." The guilt had been playing on my mind as soon as Tom had talked to me.

Father was frowning now and I knew what he was thinking. He wasn't the kind of man who tolerated lies and liars and I knew he would see it as a lie no matter that it was for a good cause.

"Arthur, I must admit I am a little disappointed in you about lying to her but you seem to care about her a great deal. It reminds me of how I was with your mother….even if, this girl perhaps doesn't deserve your kindness." Even though this was typical of Father, I still let out a sound of disagreement with what he said about Guinevere.

Father held out a hand before I barraged him with her virtues.

"I will not judge her before I meet her but I can't help but think what I do!" He told me.

AT THE SANITORIUM

As I stepped out of another taxi, not only was I exhausted from meeting my father but I was also incredibly nervous about seeing Guinevere again.

The sanatorium was a massive stone building which looked beautiful as I stepped through its doors but as I noticed some of the visitors about with their loved ones, I realised that perhaps the patients' didn't think so. Rather than it being a beautiful building it was a place which kept them away from the people they love and care about.

As I saw a blonde nurse near me, I went over to her to get some directions to Guinevere. The nurse as soon as I had mentioned Guinevere's name, smiled broadly and held out what looked like a dressing gown.

"She's in the grounds, I think. I was going to give it to her but as you're here, you can do it instead." She told me, happily.

The nurse seemed a nice lady but I was impatient to see Guinevere so I quickly took the dressing gown of her before thanking her and making my way out to the grounds.

I went through the double doors which looked as if they led the way to the gardens and to my amazement, they did. I quickly saw Guinevere walking.

As I approached her, I felt as if I was going to be sick. I had waited so long to see her and I was so nervous that she didn't want to see me.

"Arthur, is that you?" Guinevere asked when I was still a great deal away from her.

I smiled and quickened my pace and eventually came to stand near her.

It was at this moment when Guinevere started to put her arms around me, hugging me tightly. She was hugging me as if she was scared I would disappear and I was hugging her as if my life depended upon it.

"I'm sorry, that was wrong of me." She told me, as we came out of the hug.

I shook my head at her words as I knew why she had said it. She was still worried about me catching TB. I wanted to tell her that I wanted the hug as much as she did if not more but she probably wouldn't believe me.

"Here…" I reached out and put on the dressing gown on her shoulders so she didn't get cold.

Guinevere looked much healthier than I had seen her last as she had a healthy glow about her and for a moment, I forgot to feel nervous about coming clean to her and all I felt was relief. I know she's not fully recovered but it was a start.

"How are you, Guinevere?" I asked her, taking her hand. I half expected her to pull her hand away but it seemed as if she had missed me, too.

She smiled at my question before she answered me happily.

"I'm having one of my good days. I feel great! I think it's because I've had visitors, though. Merlin, Freya and Gwaine all came to see me earlier." She told me, blushing.

Her blush alerted me to something. Gwaine had obviously said or done something. I was so curious I wondered if she would tell me if I asked. It seemed as if I didn't need to she then continued.

"It was so nice seeing all of them. Even if Gwaine did embarrass me greatly. He started singing to me about how he loved me. The thought was nice, of course, but he did it in front of all of the other patients'. Poor Merlin and Freya. Merlin had tried to look as if he wasn't shocked but Freya burst into giggles." She told me, laughing.

As she told me the story, I could picture it all in my head and whilst the idea sounded very romantic, I wondered why Guinevere hadn't seemed to fall for it. Were women supposed to laugh at your attempts to woo them?

"Sounds interesting…" I told her.

I was beginning to wonder whether telling her the truth would be best if I made sure that it wasn't a shock but then I realised that yet again a lie is a lie, so it wouldn't really matter too much.

"I have something to admit to you, Guinevere." I told her, watching her.

Guinevere looked nervous at my words and I wondered whether telling was really the best thing. Her father's words, however, seemed to pop in my head at the same time, though, and I knew that I had to tell her the truth.

"It's about the payments for here. When I went to the council, like you wanted, they said no. I wanted to help so desperately yet I knew you wouldn't accept my offer to pay so I've been paying the fees without telling you. I'm so sorry, Guinevere. I never meant to lie to you or deceive you. I only ever wanted to help you!" I told her, slowly.

Guinevere looked slightly shocked at my words and I could see tears forming in her eyes. I just hoped she would be able to forgive me!

**A/N: There you go! Sorry, it's so long. Over 2, 000 words. Anyway, I have enjoyed writing this. Also, if any of you have any songs which were made in the 1930's which you think would be a good song for Gwaine to sing to Guinevere, I'm open to suggestions. **

**I hope you enjoyed this!**

**Please review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thanks for all of the feedback I got from the last chapter! All of the reviews were very much appreciated, I assure you. Also, thanks to everyone who gave me a suggestion for a song for Gwaine! In this chapter, the serenade which will be interesting but also you will be told about Gwen's feelings throughout the chapter! I don't OWN Merlin!**

Being in the sanatorium wasn't exactly a bad thing as it meant that I could think about my life and the people in it, especially, the ones closest to me such as Arthur and my family. The visit from my father, Tom, didn't just put my mind at rest about whether he'd been looking after himself but also that he wasn't worried about me. It had seemed that Arthur had been so kind and compassionate to him.

Arthur had done so much for me. In a way, he was still doing things for me. The daily letters he writes to me always make me feel as if I know what's going on with the airfield and my friends. To say that I appreciate them would be an utter understatement. Morgause suggested tying the letters up to keep them safe, which I readily did. I used a pink ribbon Morgause gave me and whilst I kept the pile of letters (which grows daily) in my bedside cabinet, I felt slightly silly.

After all, I thought about how many women throughout Britain was doing the exact same thing. Just in their case, the letters are between two lovers instead of friends. The thought of it always makes me blush.

"You alright, Gwen? You're blushing." Percival asked as we walked along the gardens.

I had met Percy for the first time about a day or two after I was allowed out of bed and we seemed to get on well. Despite the fact, he looked an enormous guy, the way he talked about his wife and baby, told me he was lovely man. I also knew he was absolutely devoted to his wife and that his baby, whose name is Seth, is cherished by him.

Our conversations were interesting. There were times when I would tell him about my life at the airfield. Well-what it had been like. The duties I did, the people there and especially, Arthur. I knew that if they did meet one day, they would surely like each other. After all, Percy was a nice man.

He seemed to care what happens to me! I had a faint suspicion that it was because I reminded him of his sister who had, tragically, died in childbirth. He had told me about her when I had asked about his family and I had felt so guilty for asking.

"I'm fine, Percy. Are you looking forward to seeing your wife?" I asked him, softly.

I knew he was as he hadn't stopped talking about her for the last couple of days but I wanted his attention to be directed away from me.

"Yes, I am! Are you looking forward to seeing your friends?" He asked me, smiling broadly.

I couldn't help but return his smile even if I did feel slightly nervous about people visiting. It wasn't that I didn't want to see them. I would be mad to feel that but what if I'm not as they remember? Or, they forget about me?

"I am but I'm also nervous. I know it's stupid…." I trailed off, thinking about my friends.

Percy didn't think it was stupid but I couldn't shake the feeling of being nervous.

I had woken up extra early as I had been too excited to get to sleep so it must have been in the little hours of the morning that sleep had evaded me.

Morgause had come in at 8 am to do her routine checks and had found me wide wake and I had been for about 4 hours.

"We'd better get in before they tell us off…" I told Percy, as I noticed it was starting to rain.

Despite the fact that we (Percy and I) was allowed to roam around, it didn't mean that we could do it in rain. I knew that Morgause catches us in rain she would probably tell me off!

We quickly made our way inside and made our way to other rooms. Although, I was no longer in my own room, I was in the women's ward which meant Percival was in one full of other men.

I quickly got in my bed and I realised how cold I had gotten when I had been outside. The warmth was making me feel slightly sleepy and before I knew it, my eyelids were closing.

When I did wake up again (as I had been woken up by tea cups clanking), I realised that visiting time must have started as there seemed to be visitors by people's beds. It must have been about 10 minutes later before my visitors came!

As Freya, Merlin and Gwaine came into my room; I couldn't help but throw them a gigantic smile. I had missed them all. I had missed Merlin and Freya's loving looks to each other, their little conversations and even at times, Gwaine's flirting. Don't me wrong, I like Gwaine. He's cheeky, interesting and fun but I don't like him like THAT.

When I had first arrived at the airfield, I must admit that he interested me but being in here has made me realise that I don't love him as he would like me to.

"Oh, Gwen. " Freya said to me, as she stood at the foot of by bed whilst the two men went to get chairs.

I knew why she hadn't given me a hug yet but I also knew that she desperately wanted to!

"Hello, Freya. How about a hug, then?" I asked her, knowing that the hug would make her feel much better.

I didn't have to ask to her twice as she came bounding up to me before putting her arms around me. She began to sniffle as she hugged me and as we broke apart, I gave her another smile.

"Don't cry, Freya. As you can see, I'm getting better." I told her.

Merlin and Gwaine had now come back with seats. It seemed they could only get two and whilst I wondered what they would do, I couldn't help but smile as Merlin offered Freya his seat to her.

"It's nice to see you guys!" I told them, happily.

Despite the fact, I was happy about their arrival, I was slightly upset that Arthur hadn't come. It seemed weird to be seeing all of our friends without seeing him.

"You look better, Gwen." Merlin commented to me.

People were always doing that. My father had, Morgause seemed to do every time she saw me which was numerous times a day and even Percy and he was a fellow patient.

Merlin was different, though, the way he said it was full of relief and whilst he and I both know there's still a long way to go, the slight improvement in my health still means something.

However, before I could reply, it was Gwaine's turn to chip in.

"You look absolutely beautiful!" Gwaine told me, smiling.

Something in the way he said it made me think he was going to do something and even Freya looked a little shocked by his words. Whilst he liked to flirt with me, it never occurred to me that it was more than that and why should it? Gwaine flirts with every girl he meets or at least he used to.

The conversation was a little awkward and it was about 10 minutes later before Gwaine did anything again. In that time, I should have known he was going to do something as he kept glancing at Merlin nervously. I noticed something was going on when Gwaine started to stand up and slowly (and in a way, quite sensually) he walked towards my bed. As he came up to my bed, he had quite a coquettish smile on face one which I started blushing at.

"_**The very thought of you and I forget to do**__,"_ Gwaine sung to me, reaching out to take my hand between his.

The song was one I recognised and it was such a romantic one and whilst I knew, I should be falling at his feet at the words and the adoring way he was looking at me, I had a very strong urge to burst out laughing.

"**The little ordinary things that everyone out to do, **

**I'm living in a kind of daydream, **

**I'm happy as a king, **

**And foolish as it may seem **

**To me, that's everything."**

Freya seemed to share my desire to burst out laughing and whilst I had been able to refrain from doing so as I had been getting more embarrassed as everyone woman's attention was on Gwaine and I, Freya couldn't contain her laughter and started giggling softly.

I looked at Gwaine who was still singing but I don't think he noticed Freya laughing and I doubt he would have cared.

I couldn't help blush deeply in embarrassment as he started to sing the most loving part of the song.

"**The mere idea of you, the longing here for you, **

**You'll never know how slow the moments go till I am near to you, **

**I see your face in every flower, **

**Your eyes in stars above, **

**The very thought of you, my love." **

The people around us (mainly the women, I must admit) had begun to applaud Gwaine and whilst I had hoped that I wouldn't start laughing, the slightly arrogant look albeit cheeky look on Gwaine's face did it.

After bowing a couple of times, Gwaine quickly sat back down and we quite tentatively started our conversation.

Gwaine, I think, wanted some kind of reaction or response from me and whilst the song was absolutely lovely the greatest I had reaction was probably embarrassment. Surely, he knew I would feel that. After all, I am quite a shy person and having everyone's attention on us was quite scary.

Gwaine kept glancing over to me and I knew I had to at least thank him for his serenade.

"Thank you, Gwaine, for that serenade. It was entirely unexpected." I told him, hoping that I still didn't look embarrassed.

Merlin and Freya had tried to make the awkwardness which hung in the air go away but it seemed to swamp the entire conversation and whilst I hoped to talk to them as long as possible, I was glad when I could have some time to think.

When they had went, one of the women in my ward called out to me. She was smiling as she did so.

"Is that yer lover? He's handsome lad! By heck, that was romantic, weren't it?" Edith had obviously fallen for Gwaine's charms.

Edith was another person who had seemed to take an interest in my welfare and in a way, she reminded me of my grandmother. Edith was in her late 80's and exceedingly frail but she seemed to act and talk as if she was much younger!

"No, he's not, Edith. He's just a friend." I explained to her, laughing slightly.

Edith looked slightly confused by my words but I could tell what she was thinking about and she proved it by her words.

"Well, lass, he's obviously in love you. I remember when my Wilber tried to do that to me! It nearly gave me dad a heart attack, o' course." She told me, smiling. Her false teeth still in her mouth giving her a youthful smile.

Her words unsettled me more than I thought anything could. It was obvious that I don't love Gwaine and whilst I categorically certain about it, I felt unhappy, uncomfortable even at the prospect of being loved by Gwaine.

I wanted to try and clear my head so I got out of bed and said good bye to Edith.

"Goodbye, lass! Don't do too much!" She called to me, as I went out the door.

ARTHUR'S ARRIVAL

I was still in the garden and I was starting to get cold and I couldn't help but lament over the fact I had forgotten my dressing gown.

I was starting to wonder whether it was time to go in when I started to see a figure approaching.

As I narrowed my eyes, I thought it looked like Arthur. I couldn't tell properly as he was well away from me.

"Arthur, is that you?" I asked the figure approaching.

At my words, the figure quickened his face and I quickly saw it was Arthur and before I knew it he was right next to me.

The sight of him made my heart leap in my chest and it was almost as if I wasn't in control of myself as before I know what I was doing, I had engulfed him into a hug.

It was such a weird yet lovely feeling to be hugging him so tightly and so fervently that I couldn't help the smile which had begun to grace my face.

However, I realised what I was doing and that it was wrong of me to do it so suddenly, especially, as I didn't want him to think I don't care for his health.

"I'm sorry, that was wrong of me." I told him, as we broke apart.

Arthur shook his head slightly at my words but he didn't comment on it. Instead he simply began to put the dressing gown on my shoulders as he muttered "Here." I didn't mind, really, as I had been beginning to get cold anyway.

I could see Arthur looking me over and I knew what he was doing. Something everyone does. Just like Merlin. He was looking to see if I had improved.

"How are you, Guinevere?" He asked me, reaching for my hand.

I couldn't help but smile. It wasn't particularly at his question so much but rather the gesture. Arthur wasn't the type of touchy feely person and when he was, it seemed to mean so much more.

"I'm having one of my good days. I feel great! I think it's because I've had visitors, though. Merlin, Freya and Gwaine all came to see me earlier." I told him, blushing as I remembered Gwaine's serenade.

I could tell he was curious as he was looking at me weirdly and I wanted to tell him. After all, he'd find out eventually through Merlin and Freya. So, it'd be better coming from me.

"It was so nice seeing all of them. Even if Gwaine did embarrass me greatly. He started singing to me about how he loved me. The thought was nice, of course, but he did it in front of all of the other patients'. Poor Merlin and Freya. Merlin had tried to look as if he wasn't shocked but Freya burst into giggles." I couldn't help but laugh as I told him about Gwaine.

Arthur seemed to be deep in thought which meant that when he spoke next, I really did believe what he had muttered.

"Sounds interesting…." He told me.

Something seemed to bothering Arthur. It was obvious. It was as if he was constantly in thought and it didn't know if that was a good thing.

"I have something to tell you, Guinevere." Arthur told me.

There was a hint of reluctance and fear in his voice and it instantly put on edge. What on earth could he tell me that was so very bad?

"It's about the payments for here. When I went to the council, like you wanted, they said no. I wanted to help so desperately yet I knew you wouldn't accept my offer to pay so I've been paying the fees without telling you. I'm so sorry, Guinevere. I never meant to lie to you or deceive you. I only ever wanted to help you!" He explained to me, desperately.

The minute the word left his mouth, they astounded me. I was so shocked but at the same time, I was relieved. I had expected it to be so much worse! Something to do with father or the airfield, perhaps.

I couldn't help the tears which began to form in my eyes. They were tears of relief more than anything else.

Arthur, on the other hand, seemed to think it was down to what had told me and that he had upset me.

"Oh, god, Guinevere. Please don't cry. I never meant to hurt you!" He told me, quickly.

I tried to smile at him but I think perhaps it came out more of a grimace.

"You haven't hurt me. I do feel slightly disappointed that you've lied to me, especially, as you probably know that I would never have accepted it but I'm also relieved. The way you were speaking was as if someone had died!" I explained to him.

Arthur looked at me apologetically at my words but he looked relieved.

"Don't think I'm not upset with you, though." I reminded him, softly.

I was a little upset and disappointed but I could see that he regretted lying to me and I didn't want to cause him pain. After all, he had done it with good intentions.

Arthur looked slightly abashed and I couldn't help add: "I will pay you back, Arthur, I insist. Don't look so unhappy, Arthur, I understand why you did it. "

He shook his head at my words about me paying him back and he definitely doing to argue with me and whilst I knew it would take me ages to re-pay him, I would still like to do it.

"No, Guinevere, you don't have to! Think of it as a present." He told me.

I couldn't help smile at his words and whilst I appreciated the gesture, I was also determined to pay him back.

In the end, my stubbornness won!

**A/N: There you go! The song I used in the end was called, "The Very Thought of You" by Nat King Cole (1934). For some reason, the minute I heard it I fell in love with the song. I hope you have enjoyed this chapter. I certainly have enjoyed writing and listening to all of the songs recommended! My playlist is certainly going to have a few additions. **

**Please review! **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Well, we are now just over half-way now, guys! I just want to say thank for you all the reviews I've had so far for this story, I appreciate them. Anyway, in this chapter, Gwen will be given some food for thought about Arthur and she will ask about what's been happening at the airfield. I hope you enjoy it! (Hopefully, this chapter will be the trigger Gwen realising the beginning of her realising her feelings for Arthur) I don't own Merlin.**

After Arthur had confessed about paying for my treatment, he seemed to relax more. It must have been over an hour since he had arrived but we were still talking. Given his daily letters I had thought that there wouldn't be that much to talk about but it seemed there was. No topic seemed too small for us to talk about and I couldn't help wonder why talking to him was so easy.

In his letters, it seemed to me that Arthur had been withholding something from me as his letters had become vague and whilst I knew he wasn't obligated to tell me anything, but the thought that he wasn't telling me was unsettling.

We were still in the gardens and as Arthur and I heard an enormous thunderclap, it quickly started to grizzle.

"Perhaps, we should go in Guinevere, I wouldn't want you to get soaked!" He told me, worriedly as he noticed the rain getting heavier.

I nodded to him and he quickly took my hand as we made our way into double doors. For some reason, I felt reluctant to go inside despite the awful weather. I suppose it was because I was aware that visiting would soon be over.

"Your father came to see me the other day." Arthur told me, as he was walking with me to my ward.

I couldn't but smile at his words. It had shown me how much my Father liked and respected Arthur. After all, my father was certainly a good judge of character. Although, I was curious as to what they talked about, though. Mainly whether I was mentioned or not…

"Oh. Really? How was he?" I asked Arthur, biting my lip.

Ever since my mother had died, I had looked after my father and Elyan, so I wanted to make sure that my father was looking after himself properly. I knew Arthur would tell me the truth.

Arthur, at my words, gave me one of his reassuring smiles and whilst I did feel slightly less worried, I knew I would feel worried until I see my father again.

"Don't worry so much, Guinevere, he looked as he normally does. A bit tired but he had been travelling." Arthur explained to me, reassuringly.

By this time we were now approaching the doors to my ward and as we entered it, I saw Edith give me and Arthur a weird look.

As I went back to bed, Arthur sat beside me in the chair which had been occupied by Gwaine only two hours ago. The thought of Gwaine made me feel slightly guilty and nauseous.

After all, the serenade had been humorous at the time but now, I see how heartfelt it had been. How each word he had sung had been dripping with emotion…

Gwaine wasn't the type of man who gave his heart regularly and the fact he had with me, was upsetting. The more I thought about it, the more I was certain about what my feelings for him are.

Arthur had seemed to guess where my thoughts were as his next question was about Gwaine and what had happened.

"What are you going to do about Gwaine?" He asked me. Arthur's voice was neutral but I knew it was self-imposed.

Arthur's voice was hardly neutral at the best of times as they always conveyed some sort of emotion, even if it's just the tiniest bit.

"I don't know. I don't want to hurt him but I can't tell him I love him, either." I explained to Arthur, uncomfortably.

As I looked at Arthur to see his reaction, there was an emotion which almost looked like jealously pass over his face. However, the look quickly disappeared and it was quickly replaced.

It had been so fact I had probably imagined it, which would have made much more sense as Arthur didn't exactly have a reason to be jealous of me and Gwaine and Arthur doesn't like me in that way, anyway.

"Oh. Well, I'm sure he'll understand." He told me, sounding a little uncomfortable.

The expression on his face and his tone of voice was showing me that he had begun to regret asking and if I'm honest, so was I.

Our conversations were normally so relaxed and care free. In a way, it gave me the feeling of being able to tell him anything but now, there seemed to be something stopping that. I couldn't tell him about my platonic feelings for Gwaine and I certainly can't tell him about how I highly I regard him.

Arthur and I gazed everywhere around the room in order for both of our attention to be away from what we were talking about.

Visiting time was ending rapidly but Arthur and I were both wrapped up in our own thoughts to do much talking. Before we know it, however, visiting time was over.

Morgause, who had been sent into the ward to give Edith something, came to remind us that visiting time was over.

"It's seven pm, Mr Pendragon; it's time for you to go now." She reminded him, softly, with a somewhat less than happy expression on her face than before.

Arthur nodded his acquiesce at her words and quickly turned to me. He gave me a smile before giving me hug.

I returned it as I knew it would be a long time before I'd see him again, but the hug ended sooner than I would have liked.

"I'll write to you, Guinevere, before I come and see you! Goodbye. " He told me, emphatically before he made his way out of the ward.

I smiled at his words but I knew I would miss him despite his letters. They were vital for me to feel connected to the airfield and everything going on but they weren't the same as hearing his voice. Nothing could be the same as that!

Edith had been watching me for a quite a long time since Arthur had left and it seemed she was content to leave me to my thoughts. Or, at least until she wanted to give me her opinion!

It must have been at least fifteen minutes before she finally started talking to me. Telling me what she thought.

"Is he yer lover, then?" She asked me, again.

This was the second time she had asked me that today and whilst the answers exactly the same, the situation is entirely different.

"No, he's a friend as well." I told her, thinking.

Edith shook her head at my words and whilst I didn't understand why she did it, she would probably tell me.

"For a lass like you who's intelligent, you're oblivious where men's concerned…." She pointed out to me, shrewdly.

I gave her a smile but I still didn't understand what she talking about. Whilst I hadn't realised Gwaine's feelings for me, it wasn't like that with Arthur.

We're friends and that's it! If he did like me, surely I would have realised before now?

"We're friends just. Nothing else. He's like my best-friend, I suppose." I explained to her.

Edith, at this point, looked exasperated at my words and when she spoke again, it was obvious that she was.

"God, lass, he's in love with you, too!" She told me.

I must have looked ready to argue with her as she then held up a hand before she added: "The way he looks at you is full of love."

Despite her words, I didn't want to agree with her. I suppose being friends with someone is entirely different than being in love with them. The thought that Arthur loved me seemed almost too much.

I had no idea what to say to what Edith had told me but as I sat in shocked silence, I began to realise that my feelings are just as hard to figure out as Arthur's!

**A/N: There you go! Personally, I like the character of Edith and I think when you're convinced that you're friends with someone, it's hard to think of them as if they love you! Hopefully, there are hints in here about Gwen's feelings about Arthur but you'll have to wait about 3 or 4 before they admit it to each other!**

**Please review! **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Firstly, I just want to say is thanks to all of you have reviewed so far. I really really do appreciate it. In this chapter (which will still be from Gwen's POV) she will told about treatment for her illness and she will have to decide if she wants to do it or not! This will be were Arthur's letters come in as this will be set a couple of days after their conversation. I must warn you that the treatment will be quite descriptive, so I suggest skip it if you want. I don't OWN Merlin!**

After my conversations with both Edith and Arthur, I began to think about my life and the people in it. It would have been so easy to forget about the people who care about me since being in the sanatorium is quite an isolated experience. Luckily, though, Arthur's letters were my constant reminder about my life before my illness.

At times, they made me feel quite sad as I sometimes yearned to be a part of something again. To be able to do something for someone else for a change but on the whole, I felt thankful. Arthur's letter's reminded me about what was going on outside.

I knew Arthur was writing to me so I would feel in the loop but I sometimes felt he wasn't telling me something he should have. When he had admitted his part in paying for my treatment, I had hoped that was the only thing he needed to admit to me but for some reason; I couldn't help but think Arthur was still keeping something else from me!

I suddenly noticed Morgause and Dr. Grisham walking towards me and I suddenly started to feel panicked. Normally, Morgause would have a smile on her face no matter what was going on but today she didn't. Her face looked serious and set and I knew what she was going to tell me was either going to be important or bad news.

"Hello, Guinevere." Dr Grisham told me, in his normal matter of fact tone.

I couldn't help but grimace at his use of my name. From his lips, my name sounded uninteresting and weird. Arthur was the only person who I would even contemplate letting him use my full name. His voice made my name sound beautiful and it reminded me of when my mother used to call me it.

"Dr Grisham. I take it you have a purpose for coming to talk to me." I told him, waiting for him to react to my words.

Dr Grisham, at my words, did react as he looked slightly apprehensive which made me panic even more.

"Indeed, I do, Guinevere. Do you remember our conversation a couple of weeks ago?" He asked me, Morgause still standing next to him at the foot of my bed.

His question was a little bit superfluous as I was sure I would remember what he told me for most of my life. I had been so terrified and he hadn't helped to reassure me at all. If anything, he had made me feel even more terrified.

"Yes, I do. Is this about more treatment?" I asked him, hoping that whatever he was going to tell me wasn't going to be so bad.

He nodded to me, emphatically before explaining what treatment he wanted to tell me about.

"Well, there's a new treatment which is beginning to be used in Britain to treat TB patients' and we've decided you're a viable candidate for it. It's called 'Collapse therapy." Dr Grisham explained to me, slowly.

He then paused to give me some time to take in what he was telling me but I desperately was beginning to want him to tell everything I would need to know about the treatment. After all, I would have to decide whether I want it done.

"What does it include?" I asked him, thinking.

Dr Grisham gave me a reassuring smile and whilst I appreciated his attempt, I couldn't help think that it didn't have the same effect as Arthur's smile did.

"It's quite a radical and invasive procedure. It would need to involve a surgical procedure as it involves deflating one of your lungs. This would allow your lung some time to heal as well as making sure that any holes which have been caused by the TB close." He went on to explain.

I was beginning to feel slightly sick at his words. The procedure did, indeed, sound radical and the thought of it was beginning to terrify me.

"How would you deflate one of my lungs?" I asked them both, timidly.

Although, I wanted to know everything to do with what would happen, I also didn't want to know too much in case I decide the risk would be too great.

"We would have to make an incision to your side and we would have to break some of your ribs, in order to gain access to your lung." Dr Grisham, I think, knew what I was thinking as he seemed slightly reluctant to tell me everything about it.

I nodded at him but I knew I would need time to think over. As I told Dr Grisham this, he didn't seem surprised and he soon left me with Morgause.

"What are you thinking, Gwen?" Morgause asked me, sympathetically.

I smiled at her concern but the one person I really wanted with me wasn't here so I didn't really feel like smiling in the slightest.

The whole time Dr Grisham was explaining it all to me, I desperately wanted Arthur with me. I wanted to see his reassuring smile. I wanted to feel his hand in mine, reminding me of his presence. But most importantly, I wanted him just to be near me.

As I thought about it, tears came to my eyes and as I answered Morgause I desperately tried to keep them at bay.

"I'm confused, Morgause." I admitted to her, quietly.

Morgause looked at sympathetically at me and I saw pity in her eyes and as she came to hold my hand in hers, I couldn't help but wish it was Arthur holding my hand rather than Morgause.

"I've just remembered, Gwen. This came earlier for you." She told me as she put her hand in the pocket of her dress.

I saw a letter in her hand and as she held it out to me my heart began to race. Even though, I desperately wanted Arthur to be with me, a letter from him would be the closest I would get.

"Thank you, Morgause." I told her as I reached forward to take it off her.

Morgause smiled at me when I thanked her but I couldn't focus on her. All I could focus on was the letter. The whole conversation with Dr Grisham hadn't just made me feel alone and isolated but he had confused me about whether to do the treatment or not.

I just hoped Arthur's letter would help me to decide what to do.

As I opened his letter with shaking hands, I had to try and calm down before reading as I couldn't make out his writing.

When I was able to read it, I abruptly burst into tears.

"_My dearest Guinevere, _

_How are you today? For some reason, I felt so desperate to write to you, I knew I wouldn't be able to relax until I had. Every time Lieutenant Walker tried to teach us something, I would be thinking about you. It seemed at times as if you were invading my thoughts. I probably shouldn't be telling you this but I am missing you so badly. What is making it worse is that I had been going to tell you something after I had admitted about paying for your treatment, but it never seemed the right time. _

_Every time I tried to, we would start talking about something else. I so wished I had told you what I was going to. A part of me wants to tell you now in this letter but I had always thought of telling you face-to-face. Life at the airfield is exactly how it was the last time I wrote to you and I'm sure you're glad. After all, with what's going on around us, normality isn't something you normally get._

_I really am enjoying writing to you, Guinevere; it allows me to tell you my thoughts. I hope you're feeling happy and that you're alright. I know I'm being optimistic but you're such a strong, brave woman, Guinevere, I'm sure you'll be fine!_

_I had better go, Merlin had been trying (and failing) to get my attention for quite a while!_

_I hope to visit you soon, _

_Arthur."_

I couldn't help smile at the words on the page. I cherished every word he had written to me. Each word seemed to tell me he cared. His words were full of emotion, to me, and whilst I knew I shouldn't be reacting so strongly to the letter, I couldn't help it.

His words about me being a strong, brave woman had made me smile even if I was still crying. For some reason, his opinion about me mattered to me a great deal almost most as much as what my father thinks about me.

I had hoped his letter would help me about deciding to do the treatment and it had. The letter had given me the courage as it had reminded me of how many people I care about.

As my tears were slowly disappearing, I felt calmer as I looked at his words but I also couldn't take my eyes away from his greeting. It was even fuller of emotion than normal and for some reason; I couldn't help but wonder why.

As I was finally beginning to realise, it was probably due to the same reason I was so reacting so strongly to his letter.

**A/N: There you go! Before writing this chapter, I did some research on the 'collapse therapy' and apparently, when this is set (1940) it had already been done in sanatoriums in Canada but they had been implemented in British ones, too. The treatment may seem really radical but the drugs used to fight the illness weren't around until 1948!**

**I hope you enjoy this! This is where the angst bit of the story comes in!**

**Please review! **


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thank you for all reviews, I have enjoyed very much reading them. Anyway, I am sorry I didn't update yesterday. I've been very busy! Anyway, in this chapter it will be from Arthur's POV so you will get to see what's been going on in at the airfield as well as the reactions to the news about Guinevere's treatment! I don't OWN Merlin.**

Guinevere's absence was becoming almost intolerable. Whilst I had hoped that once I had seen her, I would be able to put my mind at rest, I couldn't. When I wrote her my most recent letter, I nearly started to write about my feelings for her but something stopped me. Gwaine had come to talk to Merlin and his presence stopped me. It was as if there was something more important besides myself.

For some reason, though, I wanted to make sure that Guinevere was alright. She's always in my mind both day and night. The thought that perhaps Guinevere felt unhappy and confused about anything seemed to be something I couldn't handle. When you love someone so unconditionally, your feelings don't matter as much as they used to do.

Our training was intensifying and whilst I enjoyed it, it also gave me an excuse to put all my energy into flying. Merlin, of course, had noticed my enthusiasm and whilst he knew how much I did enjoy flying, he knew there was a reason behind it. He had also seemed to guess that it had something to do with Guinevere, too!

"Arthur. This came for you this morning. It's from Gwen." Merlin told me as he gave me the letter.

Merlin looked at me expectantly almost as if he was expecting me to read the letter aloud to him. However, he seemed to realise that perhaps that wasn't such a good idea. I couldn't help agree with him. After all, how I was feeling wasn't something I wanted to share!

"I'd, er, better go. I think Freya wanted to speak to me before dinner." He told me rather nervously, as he turned to leave.

I gave him a slightly apologetic smile. I was aware that I was acting even more unusual than I normally do and Merlin had definitely noticed. Merlin always noticed things like that and to say it was starting to annoy me would be an absolute understatement.

"Alright, Merlin. I'll see you at dinner." I told him, before looking at the letter.

Just looking at Guinevere's neat yet utterly feminine handwriting made me smile and I couldn't help but feel absolutely idiotic.

Here I was pinning for a woman who not only was absolutely oblivious about my feelings for her but who was currently still unwell.

I was beginning to feel determined to tell her about my feelings. I had, of course, attempted to when I had visited her after I had told her about paying for her treatment but I couldn't. There never seemed like the right time.

I quickly opened the letter but for some reason, I had a sense of dread form in the pit of my stomach. Whatever Guinevere's letter entails, I knew it wouldn't exactly be good news and I didn't particularly want to find out what it was.

I looked at the letter for a couple more minutes before I knew I would have to eventually and it would be rude not to read it.

"_Dearest Arthur, _

_I must admit that before I read your letter, I was feeling confused and unhappy and I also have to admit that wished you were with me. Somehow I knew that you'd know what to say to me to make me feel comfortable and happy and receiving your letter was the closest to that. _

_The reason I was so confused and sad was due to what Dr Grisham (one of the doctors treating me) had told me. He told me about a new treatment that he thought would benefit me. It sounded radical and I must admit it put the fear of God into me! _

_Arthur, I had never felt so confused in all my life but the minute I had read your letter, I felt better. I knew what I would have to do. I would need to have the treatment. After all, if it's going to help get me back to the airfield and you faster than I have no choice. _

_I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I end up infecting you, too, and Morgause told me that the procedure would lower the risks of that happening. Whilst being at the sanatorium isn't exactly bad, I miss everything to do with the airfield and, of course, you as well. _

_You don't really know how much you will miss someone until you are parted from them and being in here, have definitely got me thinking. _

_Can we please talk in person soon? Don't worry, Arthur, it's about nothing bad. I got a feeling from your letter that you had wanted to talk to me about something and it seems important for you, too. _

_I'd better go; Edith is trying to tell something. If I don't go now, she'll talk Morgause's ear off!_

_All my love, _

_Guinevere." _

Her news of a radical treatment made me feel slightly sick, especially, as it had obviously terrified Guinevere and that was hardly normal. Guinevere is such a strong, independent, brave woman that she seemed to be able to deal with mostly anything.

However, I couldn't help but feel relieved that my letter had been able to help her as I couldn't do it face-to-face.

Why had she asked me to talk to me in person? I couldn't help but lament over the fact I had mentioned telling her something in the letter. If I hadn't, Guinevere would probably not have asked me to talk to me and knowing me, I would definitely show her my feelings one way or another.

As I heard talking coming from the mess hall, I decided to go and tell Merlin and Freya about Guinevere's treatment. They'd definitely want to know and I knew that Guinevere wouldn't mind. After all, they are both her friends.

As I stepped into the mess hall, it was as chaotic and loud as it always had been but I couldn't but notice that everyone seemed on edge. It was hardly surprising but there was nothing worse than a subdued mess hall.

The mess hall is the one place on the airfield where everyone can go, which as a result means that it's where everything happens. It's the heart of the mess hall and it's the place where Guinevere's absence is acutest.

Probably because I would see her here normally. I would see her eating her dinner and breakfast or her talking and giggling with Freya.

I noticed Freya and Merlin and like usual Gwaine and quickly went over to them. At my arrival, they must have thought I would be longer than I had been, as they looked as if they had been caught doing something they shouldn't be doing. As they shifted from my gaze, I had the faint suspicion that they had been talking about me.

I knew I should have been bristling with indignation but my desperation over telling them about Guinevere's treatment was overpowering that.

I quickly sat down and I took out the letter I had taken with me. I would show them it if they wanted to know what Guinevere said.

"How was the letter?" Merlin asked me, as I looked at what was on my plate.

The pink-ish looking meat on my plate looked suspiciously like spam and whilst I hoped I was wrong, I knew it would be. After all, it wasn't like we could expect good food all the time.

"It was interesting. Guinevere's having some new treatment." I told him, frowning.

Her words about her new treatment were still on my mind and whilst I knew I would have to be at the airfield, I knew Guinevere would need me, too.

Merlin, at my words, looked a little worried but seeing my frown he decided to hold his tongue. Freya, on the other hand, wanted to put my mind at rest.

"I'm sure she'll be alright. The doctor's wouldn't have recommended any treatment which would put her in more danger." Freya told me, sincerely.

I couldn't help smile at the faith she had in doctors but I couldn't share it. Everything what had happened with my uncle, Tristan, I don't have the most faith in them. How could I? They weren't able to help Tristan and Guinevere having new treatment wasn't doing anything for my distrust.

"Yeah." I told them, distractedly.

Freya and Merlin shot each other a little glance and it was actually starting to annoy me. They were my friends and I didn't particularly like being gossiped about.

"What is it with you two?" I asked them, in exasperation.

The two of them did have the grace to look a little guilty at my words but what they told me wasn't a surprise at all.

"Can't you just tell Gwen that you love her?! We have to deal with you pinning and worrying about her and it can't be healthy for you. We're worried about you." Freya told me, passionately.

I felt guilty at her words as I had kind of forgotten about the effect of Guinevere's illness on them and I'm sure it was just as bad for them as it was on me.

"Don't worry. I'm going to tell her as soon as we have leave. I just want to make sure that it's the right time." I told them, my dinner in front of me untouched.

Freya shook her head at me before speaking again.

"Gwen's in a sanatorium, there won't be a right moment." She pointed out to me.

As I thought about her words, I couldn't help agree but I knew I would have to tell Guinevere about my feelings. There isn't any alternative!

**A/N: There you go! I hope you've enjoyed this! The next chapter is when Arthur will be admitting his feelings. You will also hear about how Guinevere feels, too!**

**Please review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Here is the 19 chapter of "War of love!" I hope you enjoy it. In this chapter, Arthur will finally tell Guinevere his feelings but Guinevere will also be telling him something, too. For some reason, this chapter came to me absolutely fully formed and I can't seem to get the dialogue out of my head! I know some of you have been quite patient waiting for this but believe me, I was like that too, but it couldn't be avoided! I don't OWN Merlin!**

Somehow in my conversation with Merlin and Freya I had become so enthralled by the conversation that I had forgotten about Gwaine's presence. I, of course, remembered he was there too late. After all, he had heard everything we had just said. I sent him an almost apologetic look and whilst I was half expecting him to at least look shocked by what we were talking about, he didn't look shocked in the slightest. It was as if he had been expecting it for a long time. That didn't make me feel any less uncomfortable, though.

"Oh, Gwaine. I'd, er, forgotten you were there." I told him, uncomfortably, starting to shift in my seat.

Gwaine smirked when he saw how uncomfortable I looked but unlike the times when he was trying to rile me up, this was a playful one. The sight of it at least made me relax as I knew it meant he wasn't angry at me.

"Don't worry, Arthur. I would have been an idiot if I hadn't already worked it out. And contrary to popular belief, I am not an idiot." He told me, heatedly.

His behaviour was becoming quite unusual and as I looked at him closely, I saw him turn and look at Mithian. I had never noticed anything between the two but the look which both of them gave each other was certainly interesting. If I'm not very much mistaken, I think perhaps something's going on.

"Who thinks you're an idiot?" I asked him as soon as he focused on his dinner, letting my curiosity let the better of me.

At my words, Gwaine unconsciously looked at Mithian again but this time he had a pensive and slightly far-away look on his face. His words weren't a surprise in the slightest.

"Mithian. That bloody woman!" His words were passionate and I could tell whatever she had said to him, had hit a nerve.

Gwaine was for the most part time a joker. He also had the right quip to say to someone and he never ever takes anything seriously. The fact he had taken offence to something Mithian had said so strongly was definitely out of character.

I nodded at his words but I couldn't help as the question which I'm sure was on all of our minds.

"Do you mind that I'm in love with Guinevere?" I asked him, hoping that I wasn't destroying our friendship if it wasn't already.

I must admit that Gwaine did, indeed, look slightly deflated at my words but he didn't look utterly heart-broken. Despite fact, Gwaine and I hadn't been getting on well at all didn't mean that I miss being friends with him. After all, the only reason I disliked him was because of his constant flirting with Guinevere, not because of any attributes he has.

He quickly shook his head but the tone of voice was certainly less jovial than he normally sounded like.

"I don't mind that you love Gwen. I do still feel strongly for her but I think Gwen deserves happiness and it would be selfish of me to begrudge her that with you. On the way home from visiting her, I realised that perhaps it would be best if Gwen and I are simply friends. I could see that I had embarrassed her and that wasn't my intention. I could also tell that she didn't reciprocate my feelings. " He told me.

Merlin and Freya were looking at us while we spoke and I knew they were trying to not get involved and I suppose focusing on each other was there way of doing it.

I couldn't help feel sorry for him. The conversation with Freya was still very much on my mind and the thought that Guinevere didn't reciprocate my feelings was a painful one. However, I also knew that if I don't tell her, she will never know and return I will never know her reaction. Could I really deal with never knowing? No, I don't think I could.

"Why do you think Guinevere will be happy with me?" I asked him, curiously.

Making Guinevere was exactly wanted I wanted and I knew that if that happened nothing else would matter but Gwaine mentioning it made me want to smile like a man possessed.

Gwaine shrugged at my words but on face there was a smile.

"I don't know. Intuition, perhaps?" He asked me, playfully.

For some reason the conversation between Gwaine and I was convincing me to tell Guinevere my feelings much more than the one with Freya had.

I suppose it was because Gwaine had, in his own way, loved Guinevere, too.

A WEEK LATER- VISITING

Despite the awful weather, I made my way quickly to the sanatorium early on in the morning. I had plucked my courage to tell Guinevere my feelings and whilst I knew I would be nervous, I wanted my courage to hold out for as long as possible.

The journey from the airfield and to the sanatorium was nerve-wracking and it seemed to go extra slowly which meant that once I had finally got there, I was slightly impatient to see Guinevere. I first noticed a nurse, whose name I think was Morgause, and she pointed me to where Guinevere was. The gardens!

I gave Morgause a smile, a nervous one at that, and quickly made my way to where Guinevere would be.

I soon saw her walking in the same place she had been the last time I had visited. Even though the air had turned cold, she seemed not to notice or even care. As I approached her, my fear and trepidation began to set in but Guinevere didn't seem to realise someone was approaching her until I came right up next to her.

Guinevere's face broke into a small grin by my arrival but as her tear tracks on her lovely face, I realised she was crying. All thoughts of telling her about my feelings seemed to go out of my head; the only thing important was what was wrong.

"Oh, Guinevere. What's wrong?" I asked her, starting to panic.

Guinevere tried to wipe at her eyes which were red and still filled with tears, at my words, but I knew whatever had upset her was important.

"It's nothing. It's stupid, really." She told me, trying to dismiss whatever had upset her as unimportant.

I knew she was trying to be brave and strong but she didn't need to be. She could tell me whatever she needed to. I just wanted her to know and understand that!

"It must have been important, Guinevere. For you be so upset by it. Please, tell me." I implored to her, passionately.

At my words, Guinevere let out a shuddering breath as she seemed to understand that I only wanted to help and she reluctantly began explaining what was wrong. Her words were faint and tentative almost as if she was afraid of what she was saying but all I could do was listen to her.

"It was just a stupid, horrible dream. It was about you. You were on your first ever mission," It was here where Guinevere's face broke out into a grin but her grin disappeared a she began talking, "and you looked so happy and free. It was as if I was watching it all happen."

I could see the tears in Guinevere's eyes threatening to fall but Guinevere; being the strong woman she was, seemed determined to stop herself from crying.

I, also, knew that whatever had upset wasn't just what she had told me. Something else must have happened in the dream.

"What happened, Guinevere?" I asked her, softly.

I didn't want to hurt her or anything but I could tell that whatever had happened was still haunting her and perhaps talking about it would help her. I wanted to do at least that for her.

"Enemy planes came and before I realised what was going on, the machine guns on the planes were being fired. The dream was so vivid and real that I could hear every machine gun; it was as if I was watching it all happen yet I couldn't do anything to help or stop it….your plane took a direct hit." She told me, her tears finally falling down her beautiful cheeks.

I pulled Guinevere towards me softly, and she buried her face in my chest. It took a little while before she was able to speak again legibly.

"I woke up just as your plane was crashing to the sea bed!" She mumbled to me, softly.

At her words, I couldn't help feel sorry for her. I suppose what she dreamed about would traumatise the strongest of women let alone someone as fragile as Guinevere is with her illness at the moment.

As I looked into her eyes which were full of pain and hurt, I felt a sudden desire to tell her exactly how I felt for her. That way I would be able to comfort her properly. Something I always want to do.

"Don't worry, Guinevere. I'm here and I will never, ever, let you go!" I told her passionately.

Guinevere, at my words, gave me a watery smile but it didn't seem to reach her eyes and I knew it was for my benefit and for hers.

"You can't promise that, Arthur. Lots of things can happen. You could come to hate me or you may not want to be my friend anymore." She told me, plaintively.

I shook my head emphatically at her but I knew that this was my chance to tell her exactly how I felt and why I had told her that.

"I will never hate you, Guinevere. It's not even possible. You're such a strong, brave beautiful young woman. I can't help but love you and I know I always will. It seems as though you've pierced my soul. You're all I can I think about and more importantly, you're all I want to think about!" My words were coming out in a frenzied mess but I knew Guinevere understood what I was saying.

Guinevere's astounded expression was obvious and she seemed to be shocked into silence. However, it only a couple of minutes later, that Guinevere started smiling so widely I wondered whether it hurt!

**A/N: There you go! Finally, a confession. I didn't want to leave it on a cliff-hanger but I want to go into detail about Guinevere's feelings and her reaction and I simply don't have the time to do that in this chapter. It won't be too long before the next chapter. 1-2 days at the most!**

**Please review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Here is the next instalment. I feel slightly bad that my updates have been a little irregular but it can't be helped. In this chapter, Guinevere will tell Arthur how she feels about him and I suppose this will be happy chapter! Which is, of course, unusual for me as I tend to go for angst but I hope you enjoy it, anyway? I don't OWN Merlin, unfortunately.**

My gaze was transfixed on Guinevere's wide smile and I couldn't help wonder whether it was all happening. Guinevere, up to now, hadn't said anything to my admission but the love, happiness and contentment I saw in her gaze seemed to show me what I wanted her to feel.

Guinevere wasn't the only one who had been having dreams. I had, too, but rather them being nightmares they were about this moment. As Guinevere looked about to speak, my heart pounded in my heart I was half-expecting my ribs to break due to the force but Guinevere looked so happy, I couldn't help but smile through it.

"Oh, Arthur…." She breathed happily, tears gathering in her eyes.

Even though Guinevere was smiling, I couldn't help but feel alarmed by the sight of her tears. I had wanted to tell her my feelings because I wanted to show her that I would always be there, I didn't want to upset her.

I opened my mouth to ask if she was alright when she put up her hand and continued talking.

"You cannot begin to imagine how happy you've made me, Arthur. Being in here has made me realise what everyone in my life means to me and you're one of those people, Arthur. You've done so much for me and whilst I was grateful, I didn't see why you had done it. I assumed it was because we were friends and nothing else. I've been so stupid and idiotic where you're concerned. You see, Arthur, that horrible, stupid dream made me realise just how much I irrevocably love you! The thought that I would never see you again or feel your hand in was heart-breaking!" Her speech was so passionate and so Guinevere I couldn't help smile at it.

As I was smiling, I realised what she had admitted to me and I began to smile stupidly. All the while, though, I wanted to check. This was almost too good to be true and whilst my whole body screamed for it to be real, I didn't want to my hopes up.

"You love me!?" I asked her, smiling.

Guinevere's smile widened (if possible) at my words and she nodded to me emphatically. The love and devotion I saw in her hazel eyes brought a lump to throat and I knew it was because I had realised what she had told me was true.

"Of course I do, Arthur. I think I was always meant to love you. It's sounds rather silly, I know, but there must have been a reason why I got stationed at the same airfield as you. If I hadn't been, we would never have met and we wouldn't have fallen in love." She told me, in her matter-of-fact tone.

The whole why through her speaking I had to fight the urge to gather her in my arms to show her just how much I really did love her but she had seemed so passionate about us that I didn't want to interrupt her.

I had never believed in fate or destiny, especially, due to the war as I found it hard to believe that it was people's destiny to die or be put in potentially life threatening situations but as I heard her speaking of us, I couldn't help agree with her.

Whoever had put us together, I didn't care. All that matter was what we felt for each other and what we would do from here.

Guinevere, whose lovely, beautiful face looked full of life and as I noticed that she looked almost glowing, I couldn't help myself and in an instant I had encircled my arms around her body hugging her as if my life or heart depended upon it.

Every other hug I had ever had in the past seemed to be eclipsed by the one I was sharing with Guinevere. Nothing seemed to be important to me anymore, expect her. The feeling of her in my arms, her hands firmly on my back, I knew I wouldn't ever tire of.

Everything about Guinevere I loved. It wasn't that just she beautiful which had made me love her. It was so much more than that. Of course, the first thing I had noticed about Guinevere had been her beauty but as soon as I met her, I loved her courage, her bravery, her loving nature and most importantly, her determination.

In the hug, however, I noticed for the first time what Guinevere smelled of. She smelled of lavenders. I couldn't help think it suited her. Lavender was such a feminine scent and Guinevere was utterly feminine. Everything about Guinevere I seemed to notice and whilst in the beginning I had been a little annoyed by it as I never seemed to be able to forget about what I had noticed, I was glad this time. I didn't want to forget about anything to do with her!

I was in no hurry to break the hug and I could tell Guinevere felt the same as she was still hugging me as tightly as before.

I realised with a sinking heart, however, that I would need to leave soon and I wanted to talk to her before I go.

Very reluctantly, I broke the hug and instead, I took one of Guinevere's hands so that I wasn't letting her go entirely.

"I should have told you earlier, Guinevere. I'm sorry. It's just I was scared that you'd reject me, especially, after Gwaine serenading you." I told her, as I stroked her hand with my thumb almost as if to calm her down or comfort her.

At my words, Guinevere did look slightly saddened and I suppose it was because I had mentioned Gwaine. Guinevere was the type of person who didn't like to hurt someone even if it wasn't her fault or if it was entirely out of her hands.

Guinevere's eyes sparked in curiosity and I knew she was going to ask me something and she did.

"Why were you especially scared after Gwaine's serenade?" She asked me, frowning softly.

I half suspected that Guinevere wanted a serious answer but I was so happy that I didn't want to think or talk about my insecurities, especially, as Guinevere had made me the happiest man on the planet.

"I can't sing as well as Gwaine." I told her, smiling.

Guinevere smiled, at my words, and she let out a little giggle. I liked the sound of her laugh, especially, as I had made it happen.

"I'm sure that's not true and anyway, serenading a woman isn't just about singing. You need to sweep a woman off her feet and I'm sure you wouldn't have a problem with that. " She explained to me, cheekily.

It was my turn to laugh. She was overestimating my prowess with women but with her, I would happily sweep her off her feet, so to speak.

"I'm sure I wouldn't as long you're the woman I'm doing it to!" I told her as the hand I had free cupped her cheek, tenderly.

I could feel the heat of her blush under my hand but I knew she wasn't embarrassed but flattered as her smile was still on her face.

I saw Guinevere's gaze draw to my lips and whilst I had unconsciously done the same to her, and before either of us knew what we were doing, Guinevere was on her tip toes her face inches away from mine.

However, Guinevere seemed to realise we were about to kiss and backed away. Her expression was apologetic and whilst it had hurt, I also understood.

"I'm sorry, Arthur, I can't. I want to, I really do. I just don't want to infect you." She told me, sadly.

I shook my head at her words and when I spoke I wanted to make sure that she understood.

"It's alright, Guinevere. I'm not going to make you do anything you're not comfortable with. How did the treatment go? I forgot to ask before." I told her.

I think she must have forgotten about telling me about her treatment as her eyes widened in surprise but she still answered me.

Although, she seemed alright, I could tell she was making it seem less serious than it was. It was so typical of Guinevere and whilst I was a little upset by it, I knew Guinevere would tell me everything when she is ready.

**A/N: There you go! Finally! Anyway, this story still has about 10 chapters and things will certainly pick up where Arthur and Gwen's relationship is concerned. In the next chapter, it will span the rest of Gwen's treatment in the sanatorium and she will be getting out!**

**I hope you enjoyed this. **

**Please review! **


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I must admit that at one point it seemed as if I no-one cared about the story but some of the earlier reviews, helped me to get over that! Anyway, in this chapter, it will detail the rest of Guinevere's treatment (meaning it will be in Gwen's Point of View) meaning that it will allow me to get her out of there, which I am sure you're all desperate for. There may be a kiss if you're lucky! I don't own Merlin (I wished I did, though)**

After Arthur and I became a couple, it seemed as if life was finally falling into place. Even though, atrocities were happening outside of the sanatorium it seemed as if writing to Arthur or even thinking about him helped me to forget everything bad in my life which made me determined to get out of here. To be with Arthur again….

A few days before he had confused his feelings, I had undergone the procedure that Dr Grisham and Morgause had told me about. I had been so terrified I was afraid that I would lose my courage and tell them that I couldn't do it, despite knowing that they were counting on me to have it done. That night, though, I had the dream about Arthur. That stupid, horrific dream had made me finally see what I had been missing along.

I didn't just realise how violently I love Arthur but how much he means to me! In a way, though, it also reminded me of the war we're fighting. Women all across the country having to wait with baited breath for their husbands, lovers, brothers and even fathers to come home, which made me see how unimportant the procedure was.

Once I had it done, it wasn't as bad as I thought it had been. That, of course, was entirely down to Morgause who was plying me with strong painkillers every six hours.

Before long, the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months. Visiting times came and went as quickly as I wished for them and whilst I appreciated every single visit, my desire to see everyone I couldn't was ever increasing. My desire to be with Arthur (properly) and to see everyone at the airfield seemed to make the time fly!

Today is my review with Dr Grisham. He'll tell me if I can finally go home or not. Here I was still in my bed whilst Dr Grisham was deciding my fate with a grim expression on his face.

As I looked at it, I couldn't feel nervous. The look on his face gave me no hope of agreeing and it seemed as if it was hours before he spoke to me and when he did, his voice sounded unusually hesitant.

"I've looked over your notes, Guinevere." He told me, making me wince at his use of my full name.

Despite the fact I let Arthur call me that, I still didn't want anyone else, too. Especially if he was as annoying and frustrating as Dr Grisham was.

I looked expectantly at him waiting for him to start telling me what I was expecting to hear. I was practically glaring

"The TB in your lungs seems to have been contained and your nutrition has certainly improved. You've been in here, what, 4 months which means since you're clear of the infection as it is shows on the x-ray, you are no longer a risk to other around you by infecting them." He told me, his wrinkles looking pronounced as he thought.

I couldn't help but let out a relieved sigh at his words. My fear of infecting Arthur and everyone else had been painful and not just to myself but to the people themselves. It had stopped me from having human contact with people and whilst you don't really notice doing certain things like kissing them on the cheek, when you can't do it, you notice it.

I was going to ask Dr Grisham a question but he seemed to still have something to say, so I patiently waited for him to continue without interrupting him.

"I think it's time for you to able to go home, Guinevere." He exclaimed to me, smiling happily.

The moment he said those words I felt like I could hug him to death but seeing that I would probably embarrass the poor man, I decided just to let out an excited squeal instead.

Dr Grisham still had things to tell me about and whilst I was too happy to really take in what he was talking about, I still gave him my attention. After all, I was going home and it was due to him and Morgause that I was able to.

"TB can be a re-occurring disease. Do not overexert yourself, Guinevere! If you do, you increase the risk of developing the disease again." He told me, severely.

I nodded at his words but I definitely wouldn't tire myself out, it wasn't as if I wanted to become ill again. Being in the sanatorium, totally isolated from everyone and everything I hold dear to my heart isn't a picnic and I certainly wouldn't wish it on anyone.

However, Dr Grisham still wasn't done and I knew that whatever he was going to tell me would be important. He wasn't exactly a man who indulges in small talk.

"Some women sufferers who have suffered from TB have in the past have had problems conceiving." It was at this point in his talk, where my attention was certainly heightened, but he continued in a way which I think he thought was reassuring.

"Don't worry, Guinevere. Your case is different to theirs. Your lungs were the only organs affected and nothing else. I am only telling you since you will need to be monitored regularly if you do conceive in the future. One last thing, you will not be able to breastfeed as we don't want you to become too tired." He told me.

After I had gotten over the thought of not being able to conceive and actually feeling relieved, I couldn't help but blush at his words. Although, I had never really thought about having babies, meeting Arthur and falling in love had definitely made me think about having a mini Arthur. Just the thought brought a smile to my face.

It was after this that, Dr Grisham finally left to do his rounds leaving me to think over what he had said. I had been afraid he would tell me that I couldn't go back to the airfield but his warning was clear. I could as long as my duties were lessened.

I'm not exactly the type of person who can be idle. I like doing things. Anything as long as my time is filled. When the war started, I knew I would be able to put it to good use.

Morgause who had been nearby when Dr Grisham had been talking to me but as soon as she had realised he had gone and had done whatever she had been doing, she came to talk to me.

"I take it you're going home, then?" She asked me, noticing my smile.

Although, there was a smile on her face the tone of her voice told me she was sad I was leaving. As I thought about it, so was I. Morgause wasn't just my nurse but also a friend. A very good one at that. We had become very close in the time I was here and whilst it seemed as if it was only due to the fact I was lonely, I knew there was more to it than that.

At her words, I nodded at her smiling ever so slightly.

Morgause took a seat next to me and it seemed a while before she talked to me again. When she did, she had a pensive expression on her face. One which I couldn't help but think she was deep in thought about something.

"That's good. You'll be able to be with your friends, again." She told me.

Her words reminded me of what type a person she is. Always thinking of others but her wellbeing.

My heart had filled with joy at the prospect of going home but as I thought about leaving, I felt almost unhappy. I had made friends with people. Morgause, Percy and Edith. They all had helped in one way or another. Even if, at times, I neither wanted it nor deserved it but nevertheless, they bestowed it most willingly.

"If I write to you, will you write back?" I asked her. I didn't want to just forget that we had become friends and I owed it to her, not to do that.

Morgause smiled at my words and I knew that our friendship would continue and for that, I was immensely glad.

"Of course I will, Gwen." Morgause answered me, smiling.

The rest of our conversation was mainly about what I was going to do when I finally go back and whilst the most important thing seemed to be, spending some time with Arthur, I also had to think about coping with my duties.

5 DAYS LATER- DISCHARGED

I hadn't told Arthur about being released as I wanted it to be a surprise but as I made my way out of the sanatorium, I began to think perhaps it wasn't such a good idea.

I had, of course, told my father. I had written to him when I would be released and he had written to me telling me that he would meet me outside.

As I frantically looked around, I didn't see him and I was beginning to feel that perhaps he had forgotten about me. The disappointment I had begun to feel was rising but my attention was caught a taxi coming up the gravel drive of the sanatorium before stopping quite a bit away from me.

Although, it seemed unlikely that my father would be in the taxi due to how expensive they are now, I looked anyway.

My eyes widened in surprise and delight as Arthur stepped out of the taxi. Even though, I was wondering how he knew, it didn't seem important. Before Arthur could make his way to me, I started running to towards him, leaving my belongings on the ground.

I could see Arthur's heart-felt grin as I ran to him and as I skidded to a halt, I could almost sense the happiness radiate off him.

Arthur's muscled arms pulled me to him, almost as soon as I had stopped. The hug was exactly what I wanted and whilst I wanted to ask him how he knew, I didn't want to disrupt the moment. It was everything I had hoped for.

When I had been ill, I would sometimes think of life outside of the sanatorium (not just outside the door) and being in the arms of the man I adore, seems like a dream come true.

"How did you know?" I asked him, breathlessly.

Arthur frowned as he noticed how breathless I had become but he answered my question with a smile anyway.

"I was visiting Tom when he read your letter! He was so happy about the news of you being discharged that he couldn't contain the news. He thought it'd be a nice surprise for you if I came instead." He told me, smiling.

I couldn't help join him smiling as it was so ironic. I had set out to surprise Arthur and he was the one who had done it in the end.

"Why were you visiting dad?" I asked him curiously, still smiling.

For the first time, he looked slightly embarrassed almost as if he had been caught out at something but before I could call him up on it, he cheekily changed the subject.

"Aren't there other things we could be doing besides talking about Tom?" He asked me, pulling me closer to him.

Even though, I knew he was purposely changing the subject it didn't mean I was unhappy about where the conversation was going. Especially, as I noticed Arthur was gazing longingly at my lips.

If I was more of a tease, I would have tormented the poor man by biting my lip or something but in that moment all I wanted to do was kiss him. So, instead of answering his question, I stood on my tiptoes before bring my lips to his.

At the beginning, the kiss was tentative and it was almost as if Arthur believes I'm a fragile porcelain figurine. Breakable and insubstantial but as we both became overcome with the passion we felt for each other, the kiss quickly became more heated. My arms rapidly went around Arthur's neck as his arms around my back almost as if to prolong the kiss and as we both broke apart (eventually needing air), I could sense the lust and adoration the both of us felt for each other.

**A/N: There you go! Guinevere's out of the sanatorium and the kiss. Despite the fact I've written on here for quite a long time, I'm still a little insecure about kissing scenes. I never know whether there's enough passion or tenderness. I went for passion this time as they've had to wait a long time!**

**I hope you enjoyed this!**

**Please review!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Here is the next chapter! Thank you for all the reviews! I love hearing you're thoughts and opinions! Some of you have, indeed, guessed the next step for our Gwen and Arthur but for those of you haven't, you'll soon find out! In this chapter, Gwen will be going back to the airfield but she will also admit her fears about what Dr Grisham told her! Arthur may ask her a certain question, too! This will also be in Gwen's POV. I don't OWN Merlin!**

As we were in the taxi, making our way to the airfield I couldn't help the feeling of nervousness which seemed to creep up on me. Although, I was also very excited and happy at the prospect of seeing my friends, I also couldn't shake the fear away. Would they still want to be my friends? Or, perhaps, had they forgotten me?

I, also, couldn't help but think on Dr Grisham's words, too. I had never given much thought of children as I had never had any reason, too. I did, though, assume that I would have some one day and it pained me to think of never being able to. More to the point, though, I knew Arthur would be heart-broken and I desperately don't want that.

I couldn't help but look to Arthur and seeing he was asleep, I suddenly started smiling at the sight of him.

Arthur had been holding my hand almost immediately when we had been talking and just feeling of his hand in mine was reassuring. It reminded me of his presence and whilst I had tried to forget about that horrible, stupid dream it seemed to be forever in my thoughts.

As Arthur slept, ever so often faint snores could be heard and whilst the driver didn't seem to mind too much, Arthur did look immensely cute. However, when the taxi had caught a pot hole in the road making the taxi move harshly, Arthur awoke with a jerk and a groan.

"How long was I asleep, love?" He asked me, after a gigantic yawn escaped from him.

The sound of the endearment from his lips almost made my heart jump out of my chest in joy and whilst I contained myself, I couldn't stop the smile which was breaking out on my face.

"Not long, Arthur." I explained to him.

Arthur nodded at my words and he seemed to look at me properly for the first time since we had went into the taxi. The expression on his face was not only full of worry but also perplexity. His confusion was obvious and whilst I don't normally admit when things are wrong, I didn't want him to believe my worry or anxiousness was down to him.

"Something's the matter, Guinevere. What is it, my love?" He asked me, tenderly.

Despite his tenderness, I didn't pay any attention to the fact we were in a taxi or that the driver was near us. All that seemed to matter to me was what he was asking me and what I would tell him. Arthur had always been there, and his question reminded me of that.

"Dr Grisham told me something back at the sanatorium and I can't stop thinking about what he said." I admitted to Arthur, sheepishly.

Arthur looked at me in worry and in that moment, I realised that I had worried him even more so I desperately wanted to rectify the situation, even if it would mean I would have to tell him about the possibility of having children.

"He told me that some women have difficulty in having children after they've had TB but he was only telling me since if I did get pregnant, I would need to be monitored regularly." I added softly, watching his reaction.

His eyes had widened in surprise and concern at my words but I could see that he didn't seem to upset by my words or at least I hoped he wasn't. After all, we had only been together a couple of months.

When Arthur did speak next, his words were full of love and adoration for me that I almost felt like crying but as I noticed the driver looking in his rear view mirror, I quickly decided against it. Being chucked out of a taxi about 10 miles away from the airfield wasn't part of the plan!

"Guinevere, you may not have any problems. Please don't worry before you have to, I beg you. Even if we have problems, we can deal with it when and if it happens. I will always have you, Guinevere, and I will always be yours. That's all that matters!" He told me, passionately.

His words gave me more comfort than I could ever hope for and whilst I did feel apprehensive about meeting my friends; I didn't feel it much as before. As Arthur had told me, I would always have him with me and he would always have me.

It was then I realised that I would never be alone and that I would never have to deal with something on my own again. Growing up I always had people around me and even when my mother died, I still had my father and Elyan. Arthur, though, was different. He seemed not just to understand me but also he seemed to complete me.

"We're here." The taxi driver, announced gruffly, as the car stopped.

Arthur, being the gentleman he was, quickly got out the door and held it open for me. As I did get out, I saw him pay the man. When I went to take my belongings out of the boot of the car, Arthur seemed to beat me to it and took the bag out.

The taxi driver, now having been paid, didn't see much reason to stay and sped away leaving the two of us alone. Before we made our away to the gate of the airfield, Arthur looked at me.

"Are you ready to do this?" He asked me.

Despite the nervousness I was feeling, I nodded to him. Now that I was so close to the airfield, I also felt excited about seeing my friends. Much more than I had felt in the taxi, anyway.

"Let's go, then." He told me, smiling.

We quickly made our way to the gate and as we were let in, I spotted the mess hall door. Just the sight of it made me want to run ahead but it wouldn't be long before I would see everyone, so instead I steadily walked up with Arthur, my hand rest on his arm.

As the both of us entered the mess hall, I was suddenly taken back to a different time when I first arrived at the airfield. Although, it couldn't have been more than four months ago, it seemed like a lifetime away. Especially, with all that has happened since.

The same people were there; all acting exactly as they had done the minute I met them. The busy bustle of the mess hall had always been one of the things I had missed when I had been in the sanatorium and I knew why.

The mess hall was the heart of the airfield. Somewhere where it didn't matter what role you have or what sex you are. All that mattered was that we were doing our duty for Britain and that we were all, in one way or another, fighting.

I soon spotted two people engrossed in a conversation but it wasn't long before the two figures noticed that Arthur and I was walking to where they sat. Freya, at the sight of me, let out a girlish squeal and came to give me a rib-crushing hug and I couldn't help but laugh at her enthusiasm. Although, Merlin didn't let out a girlish squeal at the sight of me, his enthusiasm was certainly visible.

It was after this that everyone near us seemed to notice my presence and people came to ask after me. Hugs, handshakes, even in a couple of cases, tears were all present. It was as if I had been gone years instead of months.

Throughout this all, Arthur stood to the sight of me looking nervous and downright shifty. As I noticed Gwaine coming to talk to me, I realised that perhaps that was why.

Gwaine looked happy as he walked towards me and as he started to address me, I noticed that he wasn't flirting with me. Instead, he looked quite distracted.

"At least I now know why you turned me down…" He commented to me, as he noticed I was gazing lovingly at Arthur.

I gave him a sheepish smile at his words but he wasn't looking at me. I followed his gaze and I noticed he was looking at Mithian! Mithian, who had noticed me looking, gave me a little smile and a nod.

It was obvious something was going on with them and even though, I haven't always gotten on well with Mithian, I want Gwaine to find happiness and I could tell he is certainly enamoured by her.

A HOUR LATER

People had come to talk to me for the whole of dinner and it had come slightly overwhelming. Even Mordred who didn't seem to be very loquacious was very talkative.

I had come out of the mess hall in order to get to some space. I was thinking about father and Elyan when I noticed someone was approaching. The light was quickly fading and given how dark it was, I couldn't see the face of the person.

"Are you alright, Guinevere?" The person asked me, as he approached.

I knew from how he addressed me that it was Arthur and whilst I had come out of the mess hall to be alone, I didn't mind that he had interrupted my solitude.

"I'm brilliant, Arthur. Today's certainly been eventful!" I told him, smiling.

Arthur was quickly by my side despite the dark, I could see his pale blue eyes looking at me. It made me feel as if he was going to tell me something.

"Yeah, it certainly has." Arthur answered me, cryptically.

Despite him coming and meeting me, I had a faint suspicion that whatever had made today eventful wasn't that; it was something to do with my father. Before I could ask him about it, he spoke again.

"Guinevere, the reason I went to visit your father today was because I wanted to ask for his blessing for me to marry you." He admitted to me, smiling at me hopefully.

As soon as I heard the words, I couldn't help but almost throw myself in his startled arms. I had thought that today couldn't have become any better but in that simple sentence he had made my day finally complete.

Arthur chuckled as he caught me and wrapped his arms around me and whilst I wanted to tell him what he desperately wants to hear, I can't answer a question I haven't been asked!

"Guinevere, will you marry me?" He asked me, as we were still in the hug.

The smile which graced my face was probably the most enormous one I had ever smiled as I looked at Arthur, I couldn't help but realise I had never, ever wanted anything as much as I wanted to marry him before.

"Of course I will!" I answered him, automatically.

My words were heartfelt and sincere and for once, I didn't feel an ounce of uncertainty. Even though, it would be one of the most important decisions of my life.

As the sun began to set, Arthur's blue eyes' found mine and as he looked in my eyes, I could see the future I wanted. One with him as my husband and my best friend.

**A/N: There you go! The proposal! Yay… I, also, didn't plan for the whole Gwaine/Mithian thing; I just wanted to give him some love! Anyway, I have also gone back to school which will be a nuisance but I assure you, I won't let it affect this story! **

**I hope you enjoyed the 'mushy' scenes, I certainly enjoyed writing them!**

**Please review!**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, they mean so much to me! I am, yet again, so sorry for how sporadic my updates have been. My schoolwork and everything else has certainly been keeping me busy. Anyway, in this chapter, it will tell about how everyone reacted to the news, the wedding preparations will start and Arthur will have to tell Uther about his news! How will he react? This chapter is from Arthur's POV. I don't OWN Merlin!**

The people on the airfield reacted to our news the way we expected them, too. They were all happy for us, despite the fact, that some didn't even know that we cared for each other. Mithian and Gwaine's reaction was, perhaps, the most interesting. I knew Mithian didn't particularly like her fellow WAAF's, so it was certainly unusual for her to come up to us and give us (what seemed like) her heartfelt congratulations. The smile on Guinevere's face as Mithian had said it; I knew I would never forget. It was the kind of smile which is so sincere and thankful that you can't help but return it.

Guinevere and I had felt apprehensive telling Gwaine. Although, Guinevere was convinced he no longer harboured any romantic feelings for her, I wasn't so sure. She still didn't want to hurt him, though, which was the reason for her apprehension. Whilst she had only been on the receiving end of a serenade, I saw how much her absence affected him. To our relief, though, Gwaine didn't seem heartbroken or anything like it. He willing gave his blessings and was very much as he ever was.

Life on the airfield is just as it was but with one major difference. Guinevere was back! When I could see her every day, or hold her hand in the mess hall, the magnitude of how much I had missed her finally hit me. Guinevere, when she had first arrived, had fit straight in and had become, in the following weeks, an integral part.

We were in the mess hall and whilst everyone was digging in to their dinner, I couldn't help but yearn to be somewhere else. The room was stuffy, humid and just down right uncomfortable. Anywhere, as long as I was with Guinevere. Our leave is coming up in about 2 weeks and whilst I would have liked to have been able to see Tom, I need to go and visit my father!

"I don't know what to do about the cake, though, Freya. I mean, it's a wedding reception. Arthur and I are supposed to cut it!" Guinevere commented to Freya, her face flushed as spoke.

I had been talking to Merlin for a couple of minutes but despite the food being less than tasty, Merlin had succumbed to his hunger leaving me staring into the distance. I couldn't help but listen to what Guinevere and Freya was talking about when I heard Guinevere's tone.

"I know, Gwen, but what with the rationing we won't be able to get enough ingredients' to make a whole cake. So, do you want only one tier?" Freya asked Guinevere, after a while.

As soon as Guinevere had told Freya about the wedding, Freya seemed to think that she was going to help organise it with Guinevere and whilst Guinevere was thankful for her help, I couldn't help but think that perhaps Guinevere was only doing it to make her happy.

At Freya's question, Guinevere let out a resigned sigh and I could she was disappointed. It was at this point where I realised it wouldn't harm if I tell her what I think.

"I'm sure the day will be perfect, Guinevere. No-one will think any less of you. As long as I get to marry you, I will be the happiest man alive with or without a meagre cake." I told her, smiling, as I reached for her hand across the table.

Guinevere smiled at my words and I was glad I was able to help her. However, as she looked about to speak, I knew she was going to explain why everything about the wedding was so important to her.

"I just want everything to be perfect for you, Arthur. After everything you'd done for me, even by just loving me, I feel the need to repay you." She told me, sincerely.

Despite the fact, that I couldn't help but disagree with her need to pay me back, I couldn't help smile at her words.

We were sitting on opposite sides of the table facing each other and I couldn't help but want to sit next to her, so I got up( after I had let of go Guinevere's hand) leaving my dinner abandoned and I sat down next to Guinevere. As I did so, I noticed that Freya had very tactfully turned her attention to her dinner leaving us to talk in privacy.

"You don't have to repay me, Guinevere. You've done it enough by loving me. Our wedding day will be absolutely perfect no matter what happens. Do you know why?" I asked her, looking into her hazel eyes.

She shook her head, at my words and then waited patiently for me to explain.

"Because I get to marry you, Guinevere. I don't need a cake or anything else. All I need is for you to turn up." I told her, letting out a rather nervous laugh at the end.

She chuckled when I had started to laugh and I instantly felt that she had understood what I had said. Her determination for the wedding to be perfect had shown me how much she cared but I didn't want her to wear herself out with exhaustion trying to find how to get the right food!

THE DAY OF LEAVE

We (Guinevere and I) had arranged for us both to see our families. I had, of course, accepted this and told Guinevere to tell Tom that I said 'hello' but I felt less prepared to deal with my own Father. I'd much prefer to be going with Guinevere to visit Tom.

With a kiss and a hug, Guinevere left the airfield and began her journey in a taxi. For some reason, Lieutenant Walker had given Guinevere her leave now since she had missed so many in the sanatorium and he had found out about our engagement.

I didn't hang around the airfield much longer as my own taxi picked me up half an hour later after Guinevere. The journey was long and painful. It seemed as if I wouldn't reach my father until well in the afternoon and I had the very distinct feeling that he wouldn't like what I have to say. It had made me slightly impatient to get it over and done with.

When I finally reached the house, I thought about Guinevere. I pictured her smiling and happy reunited with her father. The thought urged me on and made me hope that my father would be happy for me instead of disappointed.

I knocked on the door of my home and it wasn't even five minutes before Mrs Holloway came to let me in. I hadn't written to my father so my appearance was a complete shock to her and I did feel slightly bad as I noticed her father shocked look. After all, big shocks aren't good for someone of her age.

I tried to give her a smile in acknowledgment and whilst she did return it, I couldn't help but think it looked rather like a grimace rather than anything else.

I quickly made my way to Father's study where I knew he would be at this time and as I came up to the door, I took a deep breath before I knocked on the door. My Father had insisted when I was a child that whenever I wanted to enter his study, I would have to know and it just seems to have stayed with me.

"Come in." I heard my father call to me.

I didn't waste much time and I quickly opened the door, before stepping inside my Father's study. The sight of my father at his mahogany desk, papers everywhere made me feel as if I was intruding but I had always felt that when I came in here, so it wasn't much of a change.

My father didn't look up as I entered as he was absorbed in his work and I needed to clear my throat for him to raise his face to look at me.

"Arthur…" Father breathed in surprise, sounding quite pleased.

His pleasure in seeing me was giving me hope that he wouldn't react badly to what I was going to say. After all, my engagement to Guinevere was a brilliant thing and I just hope father sees that.

"I've come to ask for your blessing, Father." I told him, only a few seconds after he had spoken.

A look of realisation sparked in my father's eyes at my words, and I knew he had guessed why I would need his blessing. Despite the fact that, it was customary to ask the bride's Father, I also wanted my Father's as well.

"You want to marry her, Arthur?" He asked me, his attention focused entirely on me.

My words to him were immediate and certain. So certain that Father raised one of his eyebrows at my words and for some reason, it didn't mean that what he thought about my words was good.

"Of course, Father! I love her!" I told him, passionately.

At my words, my Father looked thoughtful and for a time he didn't speak again but when he did, I almost thought my heart would stop I was so nervous.

"Would you still marry her if I don't give you my blessing?" He asked me.

Despite the fact, we both knew I would I think Father needed for me to say to him just to re-iterate it.

"I want your blessing, Father. I really do! But if you can't accept that I love Guinevere, Father, then I will marry her, anyway. I love her too much not too. My life won't be complete until Guinevere is my wife, Father, and I came here so I could include you in my happiness. So, that I could tell you about coming to my wedding."

My father looked pained at my words but it was the look in his eyes which seemed to go straight to my soul. It was a look I recognised. It was the look I always saw when he remembers my mother.

"I can see you love her, Arthur, and even though, I have reservations, if you really love her as you say you do and she loves you, too, I give you my blessing. I don't want to lose my son, Arthur." He told me, in a matter-of –fact tone.

Even though, we were talking about something very dear to my heart, my Father's tone didn't really convey his emotion and in that moment, I was too happy to care! My Father's blessing means more than he probably realises.

**A/N: Well, there you go! I enjoyed writing the loved up scenes. I think probably since it's took a while to get here. I want their wedding to be in the next chapter because I really want to move their story along. Don't worry, time will have passed! **

**I hope you have enjoyed reading this!**

**Please review!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews! I've enjoyed reading them immensely. I'm sorry for the wait. I've had some things to deal with. Anyway, in this chapter, Gwen and Arthur will (finally) marry and Uther will meet Guinevere. This chapter will, of course, be leading up to a pivotal scene but also will signal the start of what will or could be Arthur/Gwen's new life together! I hope you enjoy it! This will be from Gwen's POV. I don't OWN Merlin!**

Before I knew it, everything for the wedding was sorted out by Freya or someone else. We had talked to the vicar (Father O'Malley) who sorted the date, my wedding dress was bought, and every invitation had been sent out. All the other things which needed to be sorted out seemed to be done very quickly. My father had written to me telling me that he had sorted out all of the food, too!

It had been decided on very quickly that we would have to have our wedding on our week's leave, so we would be able to have a honeymoon. Arthur and I, of course, were immensely happy with the plan. After all, we hadn't spent as much time with each other as we are both busy.

As I came into the barracks after dinner, where Freya and I were both sleeping, I spotted my wedding hanging up on the wardrobe. The sight of the satin peeking out underneath it's cover, evoked such a sense of excitement that I couldn't help but wish that morning would be here quickly. I desperately wanted to wear it. Not only because I would, hopefully, look good but that it would mean that I would finally become Arthur's wife.

I had just said my goodbye's to Arthur, who was going to stay at his Fathers', and I already felt sad about not being able to see him until I reach the alter. I, of course, know it's tradition but it didn't stop me wanting to hand his hand or kiss him. If anything, the fact he's not here makes me feel even more excited!

"Feeling nervous about tomorrow, Gwen?" Freya commented as she came into the barracks and noticed me staring at my dress.

At her words, I smiled at her broadly and I shook my head emphatically. I definitely don't feel nervous. Feeling nervous would suggest having doubts but I've never been so sure about anything in all my life. I had been worried about being nervous but I can't wait to marry him, to become his wife, to be able to write my name as 'Guinevere Pendragon'.

"Not at all, Freya. I'm excited!" I told her, happily.

Freya smiled at my words as she noticed how happy I was but as I got ready for bed, my thoughts were entirely focused on Arthur and our wedding.

I had aimed to get an early night but, of course, my excited kept building throughout the night as morning approached.

When I did, finally, drop off the last thing I thought of was Arthur. Just like normal…

THE NEXT MORNING

"Gwen, wake up. It's your wedding." Freya told me, as she woke me up, smiling.

Despite the fact, that I was still half-asleep, I couldn't help but start smiling. Even though, I had been nervous about today being absolutely perfect, I have a feeling it will be.

"I'm getting up!" I told her, as got out of bed.

As I did so, Freya reached to collect my wedding dress from the wardrobe and carefully, laid it on her ready-made bed.

The next two hours were mainly Freya attempting to tame my curls into a relatively fashionable style as well as my make-up and whilst she did, I aware that it wouldn't be long before I would have to make my way to the church. About 1 hour and half…

"I think it's time to get you into your wedding dress. Do you need any help?" She asked me, as soon as she finished my make-up.

I shook my head, at her words, and whilst I knew that it would be hard getting into my dress, she had already done enough for me. Besides, she would have to get into her dress as she is my maid of honour.

"No, thanks, Freya. I'll be alright." I told her, as I got my dress from her bed.

Freya smiled as I said this and soon went to give me some privacy as well as collect her dress from one of our fellow WAAF's who were making some alterations for her.

I carefully took the dress out of its protective cover and I couldn't help but let out a gasp at the sight of it. The floor-length dress was absolutely stunning. The intricate detailing of the lace on the top of the dress was enchanting and I couldn't take my eyes away from it. When I had first seen the dress, I had been worried about it being too ostentatious but I had been lucky, I didn't need to borrow a wedding dress like some people needed to.

It took me a long time to get into the dress as the dress had a button fastening but as soon as I was in the dress, I felt absolutely beautiful. I tentatively picked up the bottom of the dress as I was aware that it would be trailing on the floor and I quickly made my way to a mirror.

The sight before me almost made my heart stop in astonishment. My jet black curled hair was pinned up in a graceful bun at the base of my neck, with small curls escaping from it. It was my dress, however, which was the most startling.

It was my dress which gave me the look of beauty. It was the perfect wedding dress for me. It made it look as if I was glowing and I looked perfectly content which I was.

A knock on the barrack door announced someone's entrance. As I still looked at appearance, I called to them: "Come in."

I knew by the sound of the footsteps and how heavy they were that the person wasn't Freya and I quickly turned to look at who the person was. It was my Father, Tom. He was looking at me with a proud expression on his face.

"Oh, my Gwennie. You look absolutely beautiful!" He breathed to me, as he came towards me.

Although, I smiled at his words, my eyes filled with tears. My Father's voice was full of love for me and the love I felt for him at that moment was overpowering.

"You look good, Father!" I commented, as I hoped my tears wouldn't overflow.

My father blushed at my words and I couldn't help let out a little laugh at the sight of it. Father isn't one for being complimented.

"I wish Mother was here, Father." I told him, as I noticed he looked a little upset.

I knew he was thinking of my mother and I couldn't help but wish she was here sharing the day with us. My father had written a couple of days ago to tell me that my brother, Elyan, is coming and to say I'm excited to see him, is probably an understatement.

"So do I. She would have been so proud of you." He told me, smiling.

My father was always such a loving father to me and Elyan and I knew just how much my mother's death had affected him and his words proved it.

We, father and I, both looked as we heard a noise as the door banged opened and I saw that it was Freya. Freya was such a beautiful woman but in her bridesmaid dress, she looked lovely. I knew Merlin would be speechless when he sees her.

Freya looked at us weirdly as she came up to us and I knew she had noticed that some tears had been shed but not enough, for her to have to re-touch my make-up.

"The car is here." She told us, as she gave me my bouquet.

My bouquet was a simple one. As Edith had given me her permission to use flowers out of her garden, so I didn't want use all of them.

My father gave me his arm and Freya went around the back to pick up my dress, so that it didn't trail and we made our way out of the barrack. I couldn't help gape at the car in front of the barrack. It wasn't a taxi or any hired car. It had ribbons on the front which showed me that it for my wedding.

Father noticed my astounded expression and he started smiling before telling me about it.

"Arthur's father paid for it, for some reason." He told me, a little pained.

I could tell that my father felt a little upset that he couldn't do more for me than sort out the food but I wished he didn't. My father had done lots for me over the years and I didn't need him to do everything for today!

"That's nice of him." I told him.

We gently made our way in the car. Well, I did. I didn't want to snag my dress and with the help of Freya and Father, I was able to get in the car as gracefully as possible.

The car journey to the church wasn't long at all and I was glad for that. Every minute that went past, I felt even more happy and excited. We made small talk throughout the whole journey but the excitement I felt was almost infectious.

As the car pulled up outside the church, all three of us exchanged a smile before getting out and as we made our way up the path, I couldn't help but smile.

Father looked at me for the last time almost as if to check that I wasn't having any second thoughts but seeing that I was excited and happy, he gave me a smile and we (Father, Freya and I) made our way into the church. Freya was holding on the bottom of my dress and I was holding on to my father.

We were approaching the isle and as the groan sparked into life signalling my arrival, I saw Arthur turn to look at me, smiling. The sight of him in his pilot's uniform made the breath in my throat catch and as his smile seemed to widen I couldn't help return it.

It wasn't long before my Father gave my hand to Arthur and I had given Freya my bouquet as soon as we had stopped.

Father O'Malley smiled as he saw us exchange a smile between us and it wasn't long before he started the ceremony.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the joining of this man and this woman in holy matrimony." He exclaimed to us and the congregation.

Arthur and I kept smiling at each other the whole way through Father O'Malley's speech and whilst he didn't seem to mind, when it came to our vows we become serious even if we were both smiling widely.

"I, Arthur, take you, Guinevere, to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honour and respect you, to laugh and cry with you, and cherish you as long as we both live." Arthur told me, smiling.

His voice was full of his love for me and whilst I knew he had asked Father O'Malley if he could amend the vows slightly, I couldn't help the tears come to my eyes.

When it came to my turn, I repeated all that Arthur had said but I made it sure it was as heart-felt as possible. After all, we both meant what we were saying.

As we, then, gave each other our wedding rings the love I saw in Arthur's eyes made my heart soar and it wasn't long before Father O'Malley told Arthur what I had been dying for him to say.

"You may now kiss the bride." He told us, smiling.

At his words, Arthur's smile widened as did I and as Arthur put his lips to mine, in a somewhat passionate yet tender kiss, the congregation started to clap and cheer.

Arthur and I broke apart smiling, and began to hold hands. I noticed a few people in the congregation. I saw Morgause, Gwaine and even Mithian.

As we made our way outside, everyone re-started clapping and cheering before following us.

We had photos to do as well throwing the bouquet and as Arthur and I gazed at each other lovingly we started kissing, all the things we needed to do became insignificant.

"You've got the rest of your life for that, you know." Merlin told us, laughing as we broke apart.

Freya smiled at Merlin as he said this and I could tell she would happily spend her life with him if she could.

"We intend to!" Arthur commented to them, smiling.

The photographer was becoming exasperated but as we made our way to him, he seemed to be calmer. Everyone started to huddle together for the photo and I noticed a man standing next to Arthur who looked very much like him. I realised it must be his father!

The man, in question, seemed to realise that someone was looking at him and gave a pert nod. Arthur didn't notice and as the photographer shouted out instructions everyone's attention was focused on him which made me forget his behaviour.

**A/N: I really enjoyed writing this! I actually looked for 1940's hairstyles and wedding dresses and I tried to incorporate it in here. I don't know where to do a chapter from Arthur's POV about this or not but I'll see. The Vows did seem slightly modern but I kind of wanted Arthur to want their marriage to be equal. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!**

**Please review! **


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Here is chapter 25! My updates have been rather sporadic and I'm sorry for that but everything is just becoming hectic! In this chapter, Uther and Gwen will finally have their (long awaited conversation). I've had the dialogue in my head for quite some time so I'm glad that I'm finally going to be able to get it out of my head! Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and as much as I would like, I don't own Merlin. **

We were finally having our reception. It had seemed, at one point that we would always get interrupted or we would have to do something else. After I had quite ungracefully thrown my bouquet which Mithian had caught, an air raid siren had blasted.

Father O'Malley, who had been outside with us, rapidly ushered us back into the church before we made our way to the Anderson shelters. Apparently, it was safer to go through the church as it was covered (something which I have never quite understood) but as I watched hand-in-hand with Arthur, all I could care about was what was happening.

Although, the Anderson shelters weren't bigger than the ones which the government had delivered to us, there were a number of them. It seemed that it was used as a precautionary measure for exactly this but also apparently a number of residents use the shelters', too.

We had held tight for half an hour until the siren blared telling us that it was safe to go out in the open. The sirens had come part of our life. It seemed as if they could happen at any time and this proves it.

We all stepped out of the Anderson shelters, (and after making sure we weren't leaving anyone behind) we made our way to the village hall were we were holding our reception.

As everyone was beginning to sit down, I searched for a sign of my brother, Elyan, as I made my way to the top table and I couldn't help feel crestfallen as I couldn't spot him. Arthur, who had noticed that I was looking for Elyan, squeezed my hand and gave me a small smile.

I couldn't help but return his smile. After all, today had been utterly perfect and despite the disappointment I felt about Elyan's absence, I also felt happy and content. Every time I looked at Arthur I would feel so full of love and adoration, I was sure I would have burst.

Arthur's father, the man I had noticed before, was also sitting at the top table with us like my father but despite the fact I had caught his eye a couple of times, he didn't really acknowledge my presence.

It wasn't too much later before the speeches started. The first one, to my amazement, was Arthur.

"I just want to say thank you to everyone who came today but also I want to thank Guinevere as well…" It was at this point, he turned his attention on me.

His voice was tender and loving as he spoke to me. So much so that I didn't want to interrupt him as I didn't want him to stop speaking to me.

"…..You tried to make today perfect for me, Guinevere, and you have! Today's been the happiest day of my life and that's all because of you. Let's just hope there are many more days like today still to come. " He finished, smiling.

Our friends and family started smiling and cheering at his words and I realised that I had totally forgotten he was speaking to me in front of 30 people. I couldn't help but turn bright red at the sight of them.

Arthur gave me a slightly apologetic smile as he sat down next to me but I could tell he had always been planning for him to say it. It just happened to be in public.

I had commandeered one of Arthur's hands as he had been speaking to me and as he was sitting down next to me, the feeling of his wedding ring against my hand made me smile. It showed the physical evidence of our declaration of love we felt for each other.

Merlin gave the both of us a smile as he stood up and I realised his speech was next. I should have realised it I suppose as Freya had organised the reception.

He looked relaxed and happy as the sleeves to his uniform was rolled up which gave him a youthful look and when he started to speak, he did sound happy.

"Arthur, you clotpole, look after her and I'm sure you will! Gwen, please don't give up on him. He may be a ninny sometimes but it's out of love he does it." He told me, a twinkle in his eyes as he dished out his advice.

Arthur hadn't reacted badly to being called a ninny and a clotpole as he was smiling slightly but I could see that he had appreciated Merlin's words. Just as I had as it was obvious that Merlin cares and as I caught Freya's eye, I could tell she does, too.

HALF AN HOUR LATER

The speeches were, by this time, over and the cake was now cut. I was standing near a table smiling as I looked to my Father and Arthur who was talking. They weren't just talking, though, they were smiling and laughing. I couldn't help wonder what they were talking about.

Nevertheless, I was happy they were getting along. Today's the first time that I have seen them interact and it warmed my heart to see them talking.

I was still looking at them when I realised someone had walked up to the table. As I turned to look who it was, I realised it was Arthur's Father, Uther. He had obviously come to talk to me as he had a determined look on his face but it was the severity of it which put me on edge.

After Mr Pendragon had stopped walking up to me and had stood next to me, he acknowledged my presence with a nod.

Despite the fact I could he didn't like me, I wasn't unprepared to hear what he was going to tell me. After all, he was Arthur's father and I don't want to antagonise him. I had to wait a couple of moments before he began speaking to me.

"How are you? I heard from Arthur that you've been ill?" He asked me, formally.

I gave a small smile at his question and even though, I knew it was out of decorum he was doing it, he didn't need to ask me at all and for him too, I appreciated that he was at least trying.

"I'm better, sir." I told him, happily as I watched Arthur sharing a joke with Father.

Mr Pendragon looked to where I was watching and his curiosity seemed to peak as he asked me another question. The question was blunt, abrupt and I wasn't really prepared for it.

"Why did you marry my son, Guinevere?" He asked me with an accusatory tone to his question.

His expression which was mostly full of curiosity so I knew that, perhaps, he had really realised what the question had sounded like or at least I hoped he didn't.

Nevertheless, I couldn't help feel slightly insulted by his question. The tone in itself had implied that I had married his son for more mercenary reasons than because of love. It was one of the main reasons why my answer was a little sharper and emphatic than I would have normally answered him with.

"Because I love Arthur and I want to spend the rest of my life with him." I told him, sincerely.

The expression on his face seemed to show that he had heard me but I could tell he was still sceptical. I had, after all, seen the expression on Arthur's face countless times.

When he did answer me, his voice was slightly less accusatory and it seemed as if he had really thought about what I had said.

"You've only known him half a year. You hardly know him!" He commented to me.

I nodded at his words because I knew that he had a point. I knew people would feel that we hardly know him each other but the things we've been through, the feelings we've been experienced made all of our feelings much stronger and time didn't seem to matter.

"I know well him enough, Mr Pendragon, to know what type of man he is." I told me to him, as my eyes sought Arthur again.

He was still talking to Father and he looked ludicrously happy and I couldn't help but start smiling again. The thought that he felt as happy as I had today was the icing on the cake. The feeling was one of the reasons why my answer to Arthur's father was slightly tenderer than before.

"He is such a compassionate, loving, confident and courageous man. The type of man any woman would be happy to be married to and the type of son any father would be proud to have." I told him, softly.

At my words, Mr Pendragon turned sharply in order to look at me. As he did so, I saw a barrage of emotion on his face. At first I could see confusion, and a little bit of anger (and I knew he had thought I had been telling him he wasn't proud of his son) but as he gazed at me and then Arthur, who had turned to look at me smiling, I thought I saw a look of understanding on his face.

**A/N: There you go! I was tempted to make Uther more antagonistic towards Gwen but I wanted him to be still reluctant to accept her but show that he understands. Anyway, as much as I wanted Elyan to be there, I also wanted it to be realistic and his absence will be explained! I hope you enjoyed this!**

**Please review!**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! You probably don't know how much they mean to me. Anyway, this chapter will deal with the wedding night. Although, it won't be too detailed, it will have slight sexual references. For this reason, I am upping the rating. It probably doesn't rate an M but I'd rather it be too high than too low! Anyway, I really hope you like it and I still don't OWN Merlin! ):**

My wedding had been everything I had wanted and more but the reception despite Elyan not being there was just as good. Arthur, who had finally noticed I was talking to his father, came to join the conversation. After Arthur joining the conversation, the change in Mr Pendragon was immense.

Although, I knew Arthur had believed his father was disappointed when he had joined the RAF, I couldn't see any of that as they were speaking. The look in Uther's eyes was one I had seen in my own Father's eyes. I supposed it to have been pride.

It wasn't too much later before we had finally made a move not before, of course, I had gotten changed. My wedding dress, although, beautiful wasn't very practical and when Arthur had pointed this out to me, I couldn't disagree with him.

With our wedding guests cheering and smiling, we made our way to the coast in the hired car. Arthur, after some persuasion, had admitted that he had booked us into a little bed and breakfast.

"You do realise we only have 4 days leave, don't you?" I had asked him, smiling.

Arthur, at my words, returned my smile but he didn't look apologetic and I didn't want him to be. It was a lovely thought for him to have done.

It didn't seem long before we arrived at where we were staying (even though, it must have been over an hour) and it was then I had started to feel slightly nervous. I trust Arthur explicitly but I couldn't help but fear what was going to happen would be a disappointment or that I'd do something wrong.

I had, of course, no reason to worry. I've known for a long time that Arthur will never hurt me or do anything to make me feel uncomfortable and when it came to our wedding night, he didn't.

At first, it seemed as if he still thought I was absolutely fragile and that he couldn't risk breaking me as he had been so tender and loving but it seemed as if the passion and adoration we both felt for each other made Arthur realise that I'm as fragile as he imagines.

It must have been over an hour ago when I woke up, and I couldn't help but smile at the sight before me. Our legs were entwined like ivy around a tree and it was a lovely feeling of waking up next to him.

However, it was the feeling of his right hand in mine which made my smile widen even more. We had drifted off to sleep tired, exhausted but blissfully happy holding hands and it seemed as if we didn't want to relinquish our claim on each other even in our sleep.

I looked to Arthur, who was still sleeping peacefully, and I couldn't help but be hit by the memories of the night before. The feeling of Arthur's soft, tender caresses against my bare skin and the pure unadulterated passion it evoked in me all hit me like a tonne of bricks.

I was sure I was blushing madly at the thought of it but as I thought of how pliant and yielding my body had reacted to Arthur's touch, I couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed by it even if I was smiling.

Who would have thought that something so tender and loving could cause such ecstasy? I hadn't and I had been pleasantly surprised.

In an hour of waking, I hadn't let go of Arthur's hand as I didn't feel the need to and definitely didn't want to and in that moment, I realised something. Lovemaking wasn't, for us, something to gratify bodily desires but last night had cemented our love for each other and in a way deepened it.

"Guinevere…" Arthur's voice interrupted my musings, and he still sounded half asleep and half amused.

"..I can tell you're staring. Is everything alright?" He asked me, eventually opening his eyes.

I shook my head, at his words, smiling broadly. Although, I knew I should have been aching from last night and I was to a certain degree, but I was so full of love and devotion to Arthur, that the pain seemed almost non-existent.

"No, everything's perfect." I told him, a smile still on my face.

Arthur looked at me as I spoke and it seemed a while before he did anything but when he did, he lifted a hand (the one which wasn't holding my hand) to my face to cup it, softly.

"I'm glad, Guinevere." He breathed to me, his eyes twinkling in happiness.

I was well aware by this moment that it was just approaching the afternoon as both Arthur and I lay next to each other, our legs and hands still joined, there seemed to be nowhere we'd rather be.

The peace and quiet wasn't just peaceful but it was absolutely perfect. Arthur seemed to be lost in his thoughts and every so often he shot me a smile and I couldn't help but think of everyone.

My Father had offered Freya and Merlin a place to stay for the leave to which they both had readily agreed. It was lovely of him to do so but I could tell it was because of Elyan's absence. Father had promised to write to me if he had heard any news.

AN HOUR LATER

We were, by now, finally up and about. I think the landlady of the bed and breakfast was a little annoyed with us for staying in as late as she seemed to think we would want her to make us things.

Arthur and I didn't want to put her out at all and instead went on a walk along the beach. Even though, it wasn't the time of year for tourists, Arthur and I didn't mind. After all, the only thing that seemed to matter was the fact we could spend time together- Alone.

Arthur's training had been intensifying greatly in the build-up to our wedding and I can't shake the feeling of the dream off me. I think Arthur knows and as we walked along the sand, he stopped me and started talking to me, proving to me that he did.

"Guinevere, I know you're worried about my mission." He stated, as he held my hand.

I couldn't disagree with him as he was exactly right but I also didn't want to admit, either. As I gazed into his sea blue eyes, I saw such love and happiness that I didn't want to spoil our time together by lying. So, I told him the truth.

"I am, Arthur. I'm sorry. I just can't forget what that stupid dream was about." I told him, softly.

At my words, he looked at me sympathetically but he looked as if he understood.

"Don't apologise for caring, Guinevere. I won't be going on a mission until a couple of weeks' time. So, please don't worry." The way he told me made it seem as if it was obvious what he was telling me but I knew he had a point.

I nodded to him trying to show him that I had listened to him. He could still sense that I had some fears as he then went on to say: "Besides, you'll always have me, Guinevere, and I will always be here for you."

Just hearing the words was so reassuring and calming and I felt bad for bringing it up on our honeymoon and as Arthur gave me another smile, he told me he wanted to show me something.

He took a hold of my hand and led to me down the beach. The boyish smile on his face made my heart jump and before I knew it, we had obviously arrived at whatever he had wanted to show me. In front of me was a fairground ride.

As I looked around to where he had led me, I realised with slightly trepidation that it was fun faire type thing.

Arthur gave me a rather expectant smile and as I noticed the excited in his eyes which gave him a youthful look, I couldn't help but agree to go on it.

It didn't particularly look fun or anything like it as it was a bit of an eyesore but Arthur seemed to think it was interesting and I secretly suspected Arthur had wanted to go on it as soon as we had come onto the beach!

**A/N: Well, there you go! The sexual references aren't a lot or actually very detailed but it was needed for the story. I may write a full on sexual scene in my next story but as it is, I still don't feel comfortable. If I must admit it, I'm a little nervous about this. **

**So, please review! **


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! It was both illuminating and interesting to read them. In this chapter, time will have passed since their honeymoon and Guinevere will be given some news (I'm sure you can guess what) which will both frighten and delight her! This chapter will be from Gwen's POV but the next one will be from Arthur's! I don't OWN Merlin. **

The four days we had for our honeymoon went spectacularly fast. It seemed as if we had only been there a day when it was time to go home. On our honeymoon, we didn't have any demands on our time so we could happily spend it with each other and it was doing that which I couldn't help but love.

Being with Arthur had almost made me forget the devastation around us. Even though, we had gone to the coast for our honeymoon, we still couldn't escape the war. Whenever we were enjoying ourselves, it seemed an air raid would go off and we would be reminded of everything.

Arthur, I know, had been disappointed about that but I had tried to reassure him that I didn't mind. My honeymoon had been wonderful for one reason. I had been able to be with Arthur. Properly. It had felt as if we were a proper couple and I must admit that I had been worried about that. It was if I was worried that I would never see him.

I shouldn't have worried, of course, as Arthur had seemed to sense it and had asked for us both to be billeted off the airfield so we could live together. Lieutenant Walker, who Arthur had asked, hadn't said 'no' but only that we have to wait.

To say I had been at the time disappointed would probably be an understatement but I understood. I knew that given how close Arthur and the rest of the trainees were to going on their first missions it wouldn't be advisable for Arthur to be away from the airfield.

It's just over 3 months since our wedding and I still can't get use to waking up without Arthur. Today when I had woken up in the early hours of the morning, I was filled up with such a feeling of longing to feel Arthur's touch and to see him sleeping next to me, I couldn't get back to sleep.

"Are you ready Gwen to go down to breakfast?" Freya asked me, as soon as I had finished getting ready.

I couldn't help grimace slightly at her words. For some reason, just the prospect of food was making me feel sick and I didn't particularly want to go. I did, however, want to see Arthur and I knew he would be at Breakfast.

"Yes, I'm ready." I told her.

Freya looked at me as I said this with a concerned look on her face and I couldn't help give her a look. I knew Freya was concerned for me but it's probably just a bug or something.

"Are you alright, Gwen? You look a little pale." She asked me, as we began to walk out of the barracks.

At her words, I nodded to her, but our barracks wasn't far from the mess hall and the smell of breakfast seemed to waft towards us.

The smell of food which assaulted my senses was nauseating. My stomach began to churn uncomfortably and despite the fact there was nothing in my system, the urge to vomit was becoming ever stronger.

Freya, who had noticed how I had reacted, looked at me with a very worried look but when I had hunched over and began to heave, her eyes began to bulge out in surprise.

As I brought up everything there seemed to be in my system, the embarrassment of what I had just done came to me. Not only had I just been sick in front of people (there had been a few WAAF's around) but also I had done it up the side of a building. I couldn't help let out a sigh.

"Gwen?" Freya asked me, as I straightened up.

Her tone was worried and I could tell she would ask me what was wrong. Despite the fact, I had been feeling ill and tired for a couple of days, I didn't really know myself. Even though, I felt tired, I knew it wasn't anything to do with my TB. This feels different.

"I'm fine, Freya. Let's go to breakfast." I told her, not feeling sick but rather hungry.

At my words, Freya gave me an incredulous look and I knew why. I had, after all, just been sick and now I want to eat.

"Are you sure?" She asked me, as I started to yawn.

My relatively sleepless night was finally catching up on me and I was beginning to wish that I would see Arthur sooner and that we would hurry up.

"Of course, I want to see Arthur." I told her, thinking.

We quickly made our way to the mess hall (I had, of course, made a mental note to clear up the mess I had made later) and as soon as I spotted Arthur, I practically ran to him. I was vaguely aware that I probably didn't smell my best but as he hugged me, he seemed to realise that I definitely needed a hug.

"Guinevere, are you alright?" He asked me, repeating what Freya had said.

Freya looked at me as she heard Arthur speaking and I knew that I would have to tell what had just happened.

"Not particularly. I'll tell you about it later." I told him, as I sat down. I wasn't lying to him. I would tell him later but I didn't want to worry him until I know what's wrong.

Arthur frowned at my words but seeing Freya looking at me worriedly, he seemed to become unhappy.

I hadn't reacted to the smell of the food as I had walked into the mess hall but seeing the food on my plate made me feel sick again. The familiar feeling of nausea rose up in me and my eyes widened in horror as I realised that I was going to be sick as I started to gag.

I quickly rose from where I was sitting and uttered a quick goodbye to Arthur and ran from the hall. The fresh air hit me as I reached outside and I couldn't help taking big deep breathes of it. It was making me feel better and less nauseous.

As I was still breathing deeply, I realised someone had followed me. I recognised the footsteps immediately. It was Arthur.

"Are you alright?" He asked me, as he had before.

The love and tenderness in his tone and question made me feel guilty. Why hadn't I told him about how I had been feeling? I suppose I had done it because I didn't want to distract him from his mission.

I suddenly felt stupid and selfish and the thought brought tears to my eyes. Arthur quickly saw this and came over to hug me.

"Guinevere, tell me what's wrong." He urged to me, lovingly.

I saw no reason to lie to him and I didn't see the point of doing so.

"I just feel unwell, Arthur. There's no reason to worry. I'm going to see Dr Gaius just in case." I told him, as I looked to see his reaction.

Before this morning I didn't have any intention of going to see him but this morning seemed to highlight that something was wrong and something important.

Arthur's eyes widened but I knew he wished that I had told him earlier. I was beginning to think that myself.

"Do you have any idea about what's wrong?" He asked me with a look in his eye which showed me he was worried.

"I have an idea but I don't really want to guess." I told him, thinking. I didn't want to guess because I didn't want to be wrong.

What Dr Grisham had told me had affected me more than I wanted to admit and the thought of what he had told me seemed to stop me even contemplating being pregnant.

Arthur, at my words, nodded and brought me closer to him. We stood with our arms around each other deep in own thoughts but I know we were thinking the exact same thing. What we both hoped for but what we both didn't want to think about.

THE APPOINTMENT

I had convinced Arthur not to ask for time off to come with me and whilst he done so simply because I had asked, I could tell he was worried about me.

Lieutenant Walker had readily agreed to let me have a half day pass for me to see Dr Gaius and I think he had done so, because he could see that something was wrong. I think he was worried about my duties.

As I parted from Arthur with a loving kiss, I quickly made my way to the doctor's surgery. When I arrived there, I soon saw his receptionist. Morgana, I think she's called.

Morgana soon saw me coming through the door and gave me a warm smile. As she did so, I couldn't help but feel as if something had changed with her. Whilst the other time I had seen her, she had been polite enough she had also never been more than that.

I couldn't help wonder at what could have brought about the change.

I had sat down as she had motioned for me to do so and it was about fifteen minutes later before she finally told me I could go in.

"Dr Gaius will see you now. You can go in." She told me, smiling.

I nodded to her and despite the fact I hadn't felt particularly nervous when I had first arrived, I was beginning to feel slightly sick. I slowly made my way towards Dr Gaius and after I took a deep breath, I opened the door.

Dr Gaius gave me a smile as soon as he spotted me coming through the door and he offered me to take a seat. He quickly began to talk after I had done so.

"I had hoped I wouldn't see you again, Mrs Pendragon, in quite a long time." He told me, smiling.

I couldn't help smile at his words as I couldn't help but wish for the same thing. Nevertheless, I was here for a reason and he soon asked me what was wrong.

"So, Mrs Pendragon, what can I do for you?" He asked me.

I was beginning to wish Arthur had come with me but I had wanted to do it myself so that I would have time to adjust to whatever Dr Gaius tells me.

"I've not been feeling very well lately. I've been sick quite a lot recently. There are other things which have been suffering from but I don't know whether it's connected or not." I explained to him, thinking.

Dr Gaius nodded at my words but there was a questioning expression on his face.

"Such as…?" He asked me, as he wrote what I had said on a piece of paper.

"I've feeling very tired. Almost as tired as I had been feeling when I had TB. Some nights I can't drop off and then in the morning I feel absolutely exhausted and I know that's normal but if I get to sleep as soon as I get to bed, I still feel exhausted in the morning." I replied to him, yet again thinking.

Dr Gaius looked like he was thinking, too, but whatever I had thought he would ask or tell me what he did, I wasn't expecting. At all!

"Can you tell Mrs Pendragon when the last time you menstruated was?" He asked me, softly.

I couldn't help but start blushing with embarrassment at his question and Dr Gaius shot me an apologetic look.

However, when I started to think about what he asked I realised it had been just a week or two before my wedding which would mean I haven't menstruated for three months.

When I told the doctor this, he seemed to not look too shocked.

I had been caught up in what was going on with Arthur's training and everything else that I seemed to try and forget whatever Dr Grisham had said.

"I think you're pregnant, Mrs Pendragon. There is a test I can do but it involves a urine sample and I won't know the results until a couple of days. I can do a physical examination for you, though, which should tell me if you are or not." He explained to me.

I couldn't think or even breathe properly as I realised what he was telling me but I nodded to him and as I walked with shaky legs to the bench, I couldn't help but hope to God that he's right.

There had been a reason why I couldn't even contemplate being pregnant. I didn't want to go through the pain of not being pregnant. I had never thought of children but I wanted Arthur to be a dad almost as much as I wanted to be a mum.

Dr Gaius seemed to realise the magnitude of his words and he deftly but thoroughly carried out the exam. When he had finished, I waited with baited breath and when he finally started speaking I felt as I wanted to cry.

"You are pregnant, Mrs Pendragon. You have all the signs of being pregnant." He told me, quickly.

Dr Gaius probably doesn't realise what those three words mean to me and as my eyes filled with tears of joy, I realised I probably don't either. Not properly, anyway.

**A/N: There you go! So, Guinevere is pregnant. I have always wondered how women in the 40's knew they were pregnant as the tests didn't come out until 1978 but apparently, there was a test which involved animal eggs as well as, of course, seeing a doctor! In the next chapter, Arthur will be told and Arthur will go and visit his father and a secret will be revealed! I hope you have enjoyed this as much as I have enjoyed writing this. **

**Please review! :)**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Firstly, thank you for all of the reviews! I must admit that at one point it seemed as if no-one was reviewing and it's quite a disparaging feeling. Anyway, in this chapter, Arthur will be told by Guinevere that he is going to be a daddy and he's going to find out the reason why Morgana keeps visiting his father! Please remember this is an AU story, so some things will have changed. This chapter is in Arthur's POV. I don't OWN Merlin! **

Merlin and Freya shot me worried looks as I looked towards the doors to the mess hall. From the moment, I had said goodbye to Guinevere, I had started to worry and as the time passed slowly the worry I felt for her health seemed to increase.

Lieutenant Walker had, of course, noticed my inattention earlier but he didn't seem too angry. Instead, he had given me more work to do. I think he was trying to my mind occupied for a while and I couldn't but he thankful to him for it. Despite the fact I was looking at the blue prints for a plan (which I would have normally enjoyed), I couldn't have cared less. All I could think of was Guinevere.

When dinner had been announced and Guinevere still hadn't turned up, I couldn't help but feel nervous and worried.

"Arthur, she'll be back. She's probably been held up." Merlin told me, as he noticed me looking at the door yet again.

Despite how worried I felt, I nodded to Merlin. It was, of course, for Merlin's benefit rather than mine. Merlin had tried throughout the day to take my mind away from Guinevere being at the doctors but he couldn't.

"Yeah." I told him, still looking at the door.

It wasn't too much longer before I saw Guinevere walk through the mess hall door. The sight of her brought a smile to my lips and I immediately felt calmer.

As she spotted me looking, she gave me a broad smile. One that lit up her entire face and in that moment, I knew that whatever Dr Gaius had told her wasn't serious or detrimental to her health. I quickly stood up and began to walk towards her before reaching her in the middle.

As soon as I had reached her, Guinevere pulled into an embrace. I quickly returned the hug bringing her closer to me and as we clung to each other, I couldn't help but wish time would just stand still.

The moment was perfect. Nothing seemed to matter, apart from us. My Father's very apparent disproval of my wife, this bloody war all seemed to be away from us.

As we broke apart, I realised with a smile that Guinevere seemed look absolutely and utterly content. The look of happiness on her face complimented her delicate features beautifully and it gave her a glowing look.

"Guinevere," I breathed as my hands cupped her face, softly, "What did he say?"

There was desperation and urgency in my tone and I could see Guinevere had noticed it. She immediately answered me and when she did, I felt my heart jump in my chest.

"He told me that I'm pregnant, Arthur." She told me, simply, sounding quite amazed.

I almost wanted to ask whether what I thought she had just said was true but her smile and bright eyes, told me that it was true.

The smile on my face seemed to widen (which I wouldn't have thought possible) and as I gazed at Guinevere, I felt as if my heart would burst in pride and love for the woman before me.

Her love was the greatest thing she could have ever bestowed upon me but as soon as she had mentioned that she was pregnant, my love for her had seemed to get stronger. Something which I had never felt possible….

"Oh, Guinevere. That's amazing!" I exclaimed to her, still smiling.

At my words, Guinevere's eyes filled with tears but I could tell they weren't through sadness but happiness as her eyes seemed to sparkle with love.

Throughout all of this, Guinevere and I was oblivious to the attention we were receiving off our fellow colleague's but as we leaned into each other to kiss passionately, the cat calls and whistles seemed to finally break through.

As Guinevere heard the whoops and whistles, she blushed in embarrassment and I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. The crimson blush of embarrassment was visible on her cheek and I could see it making its way down her neck.

Despite the fact nearly everyone's attention in mess hall was on us, we didn't really care. We were embarrassed but in a good way.

We made our way to where I was sitting and we soon sat down next to each other. Whilst we did want to kiss (and we had been rudely interrupted), I also wanted to talk to Guinevere about our little baby.

I started to smile stupidly at the thought. Merlin, who was near us, seemed to notice that something was going on as he had noticed the smiles we were shooting each other. Freya, I think, had gone to collect something from the barracks.

"I take it the doctor's appointment went well?" Merlin asked us, smiling.

We nodded in unison and I looked questioningly to Guinevere to see if I could tell him about the baby and she gave me a smile and nodded, happily.

"It was excellent. Guinevere's having a baby!" I couldn't help the happiness in my voice and as I had said this, Merlin's grin answered what I had said.

"That's great news, mate." He told me, before noticing Freya coming through the door.

Both Guinevere and I turned to look to Freya when we realised that Merlin seemed to look quite gobsmacked.

When we noticed something looked knitted in her hand, my brow seemed to knit together in confusion.

She soon spotted us before coming and sitting down. Upon further inspection, it seemed that in her hand was a knitted baby's jumper.

Freya soon noticed what we were looking at and gave us a sheepish smile before speaking to us.

"I realised once you had gone, Gwen, that you were pregnant. This was initially for my sister but…" She told us, trailing off.

Freya's sister, I believe, had died a couple months before Guinevere had arrived at the airfield and although, Freya didn't seem to mention her sister a lot, she had told us that she had been pregnant when she had died. Guinevere had been sympathetic and supportive but it was obvious that Freya didn't like talking about her sister.

"I want you to have this, Gwen. Well, more your baby but you get the idea." She told us, as she handed Guinevere the little yellow garment. I could tell Freya was embarrassed but her smile showed me that she was happy for us, too.

Guinevere looked to the garment in her hands and as soon started crying. I could tell by the way Guinevere had looked at the jumper that the gesture meant a great deal to her just as it had to me. It was a couple of seconds later before Guinevere thanked Freya and she had also hugged her, too, which had startled Freya a bit.

LEAVE- A WEEK LATER

Guinevere had decided for her leave to visit Tom and I thought it was a brilliant idea. Not only would she see her Father properly for the first time since our wedding but she would also see her brother, Elyan.

We had found out a couple of days after our wedding that Elyan had been hold up due his ship being a main target for German bombs. Elyan, I had found out from Guinevere, was in the Royal navy and was a constant target for the enemy. Apparently, they were forced to dock before they had reached the port near us. Guinevere hadn't been angry at her brother just happy that he hadn't been hurt.

I, on the other hand, had decided to visit Father. I hadn't spoken to him since my wedding to Guinevere as I hadn't seen any reason to but now it's different. I would have to tell him about the baby but also address his problem with Guinevere (if I can keep my temper in check).

I was yet again in a taxi and as the taxi stopped outside of the gates to my old home, I felt rather sick. For some reason, I felt not only nervous about talking to Father but also as if something's going to happen.

I quickly paid the driver before getting out. I began to walk up the drive with a feeling of trepidation but I knocked on the door. I waited for Mrs Holloway to appear to let me in but as the minutes passed, there was no sign of her.

Seeing that she wasn't coming to let me in, I opened the door to my house before making my way inside. As I did so, I heard faint voices coming from my Father's study. One was definitely Father's voice but the other was less discernible and I couldn't put a name to it.

I approached Father's study and the voices were becoming clearer by the minute so I could hear what they were saying clearly.

"When are you going to tell him, Uther?" The voice was faint behind the wood door but still audible.

I knew I shouldn't be listening and everything in my body seemed to tell me not to listen but the voice had been full of emotion that I couldn't help it.

"Never, Morgana. You are my daughter but telling Arthur would destroy him!" Father told the person.

I had heard enough and even though, I felt anger and hurt rise up in me I needed to know the truth. I was no longer the timid 10 year old boy obeying to his whims and it seemed as if he didn't even respect me enough to tell me the truth. I opened the door with a bang and walked inside.

The look of surprise on Father's face would have (in a different situation) been comical but I felt no desire to laugh or smile. I felt more inclined to punch him rather than laugh at him.

In the chair in front of Father's desk was the woman called Morgana and I tried to forget what I had just eavesdropped on but I couldn't.

"How much have you heard?" My Father asked me, looking to Morgana worriedly.

I stared at Father long and hard but he didn't even flinch under my gaze. I wondered whether he really cared or not. The thought evoked such a feeling of anger in me that I had to clench my fists in order to stop myself from punching him.

"Enough." I hissed, angrily.

The woman, Morgana, looked slightly apologetic and I knew why. It seemed that she wanted for me to know but not this way.

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I just wanted you to know so I could get to know you." Morgana told me, softly.

Despite my anger, I could see that what she was saying was true and I shot her a small smile. After all, it wasn't her fault; my father had lied to me.

"Morgana. I don't think we've met." I told her, simply.

It was a couple of seconds after I had said this before anyone spoke and I realised I had just said something I shouldn't have. When someone did speak, it was Father.

"Yes, you have. When you were little." He told me, hoarsely.

At his words, I suddenly remembered something. My father's friends, whose name had been Gorlois, did have a daughter called 'Morgana'. As realisation dawned on me, I began to feel utterly stupid.

"You're Gorlois' daughter?" I asked her, wanting confirmation.

Morgana nodded at my words but it was tentative. Almost as if she didn't want to give me too much information.

My heart sank when I realised she's older than I am which could only mean one thing.

**A/N: There you go! A few things to say. Arthur did know about Gorlois being his father's friend but he didn't make the connection. Uther will, in this, have cheated on Ygraine. As to why he did, I am going to explain in the story. As to Freya, I wanted to develop her character a bit! **

**I hope you enjoyed this!**

**Please review!**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Here's chapter 29! There's a five or so chapters left to go and let me just say, things are really going to kick off. Anyway, in this chapter, Arthur and Uther will have a bit of a showdown of sorts and Arthur will meet Elyan for the first time. I hope you enjoy this. This is in Arthur's POV. I don't OWN Merlin!**

As the time ticked by, I was becoming even angrier by the minute. What I had found out was finally sinking in and whilst I wasn't angry at Morgana, I couldn't even look at Father without having a desire to punch him.

"Arthur…." Father said, after a while, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Despite the fact, the silence was uncomfortable, I didn't want to talk to my father and more importantly, I didn't even want to be near him. However, I also wanted to know everything I didn't already know and I wouldn't be able to do that, if I storm off.

"Did Mother know that you cheated on her?" I hissed to him, not waiting for him to continue his sentence.

There was such harshness in my tone which even I was surprised at but Father looked almost incredulous. It was as if he didn't think I would realise Morgana's age. Morgana still looked slightly guilty but I didn't blame her.

My Father shook his head at my words but he didn't make any move to speak again until a couple of minutes later. It was as if he was thinking of what he was going to tell me.

"No, of course not, Arthur. It was only ever once!" Father told me, desperately.

I had never seen my Father so desperate but his words evoked such a sense of disgust and horror in me that I had turn away from him in order to stop myself from doing something I'd probably regret.

Despite his words, I couldn't help but wonder whether Mother had known about him and Vivienne. Had she died of a broken heart? And all because of Father? Just the thought made me sick and in that moment, I knew I could never trust him again.

"I don't want to know all of the sordid details," I told him, angrily, "You damn hypocrite. You judged Guinevere from the moment you heard about her and even then you had no right but now…"

I shook my head as I trailed off. There aren't any words strong enough to describe how I feel about him and I didn't even want to try.

My Father, on the other hand, looked almost saddened by my words and even though, I had a faint suspicion that it was due to the fact I had found out rather than him being sincerely apologetic. I'm not really surprised, it's typical of Father.

"I came to tell you that Guinevere's pregnant and that I wanted to ask you to make sure that she's well looked after when I'm on my missions! Now, I wouldn't want you anywhere near her! Or, our child." I told him, finally.

At my words, Morgana smiled to me happily when I had said about Guinevere being pregnant but I think she already knew since she had a knowing smile. My father, though, not only looked shocked but there was a look in his eyes which I almost thought to be worry and regret.

The look soon passed and I waited for him to talk to me or at least say something to defend himself. When he simply looked at me, I saw how fruitless it all was. I knew that whatever he would tell me, it wouldn't change anything.

It wouldn't change the fact he had cheated on my Mother when she ill or that he had made me feel guilty for years simply by asking about her because he was guilty.

As I was started to make my way out of the house, I heard Father's voice filter through to the hall where I was standing. It was desperate and pleading. Something I had never heard from him before.

"I never meant for it have happened. She was the only woman I have ever loved or could love." Even though, the hall was about ten yards away from the study, his voice cut through the air like a knife through butter.

I stood and listened whilst he spoke but I didn't want to listen to what he was telling me. It didn't make me feel anything other than disbelief.

Briskly, I continued to make my way outside and I was vaguely aware of footsteps behind me. As I turned to look, I caught sight of Morgana who was looking apologetically to me again.

"I'm really sorry. I truly am. I didn't want to cause a scene." She told me, nervously, as she came to my side.

At her words, I nodded and I gave her a smile. Morgana seemed like a nice woman and whilst her heritage had ruined my relationship with my Father, I could deny her existence.

"I'd rather have known than go on being lied to. I just cannot believe what he's done!" I told her, briskly.

Despite the fact, I wasn't angry at her. I couldn't help but sound it. After all, not only had I found out about having a sister but also my Father's infidelity.

ON THE WAY TO TOM'S- AN HOUR LATER

Since my visit to Father had ended so abruptly and quickly, I decided to catch a bus or get a taxi to Tom's. After today, all I wanted to do was to be able to see Guinevere and give her a hug. Despite my attempts to forget about my Father, I couldn't get his words out of my head.

"_I never meant for it have happened. She was the only woman I have ever loved or could love."_ He had told me, desperately.

Whenever I thought about Guinevere and the baby, his words would come to me almost as if they were haunting me. He had loved my Mother but he also betrayed her in the most fundamental way possible.

As I thought about how much I loved Guinevere, I came to the conclusion that I would never do something like that.

I am not my Father. Surely, I had gained my independence through being a part of the RAF which had shown that. That was one of the main reasons why I had joined in the first place but it wasn't why I was still in it. Not only did I find flying enjoyable but I'm good at it.

I soon saw that I was approaching Tom's house and as I did so, I could hear people in the house laughing. I couldn't help but smile as I recognised Guinevere's twinkling laugh and it was a couple of seconds later before I knocked on the door.

I quickly did so, and it wasn't too much longer before Tom answered the door. Tom, as he answered the door, looked relaxed and happy and I couldn't help but smile in greeting to him.

"Arthur, my boy, do come in!" He told me, happily before ushering me inside.

The sound of my name brought both Guinevere and I assume Elyan to the hall and just the sight of Guinevere made me slightly less angry and unhappy.

Guinevere, like her Father, looked absolutely content and I couldn't help but feel glad about that. After all, there's so much going on now. And not just with the war.

I walked towards Guinevere and she gave me a hug before she started to introduce me to her brother, as she held my hand softly.

"This is my brother, Elyan, and Elyan; this is my husband, Arthur." She answered happily, looking to the both of us as she spoke.

Elyan looked very similar to Guinevere. He had the same curly hair and his eyes were a very similar colour. There was only one major difference in his appearance. He had an air of trouble about him. Someone in the wrong places at the wrong times, perhaps.

"It's nice to meet you, Arthur." He told me, holding out his hand. He seemed cordial enough and given what kind of day I've had, that would have to do.

I nodded to him, smiling and grasped his hand firmly.

"Likewise." I muttered to him.

Throughout this, Guinevere looked happier and happier as if meeting Elyan was really important to her and I could see how much she cares for him. The thought made me think of Morgana and whether I would ever come to feel that.

Tom, who had too witnessed our introduction, now decided it was time to get out of the hall and back into the longue so we could talk properly.

As we all walked into the longue, I prepared myself for the question about Guinevere I knew Elyan would ask. I had, of course, noticed the look Elyan had shot me when Guinevere had hugged me and it was certainly protective.

"Have you told them yet?" I whispered to Guinevere, as soon as we had sat down next to each other.

Guinevere looked slightly sheepish at my words and shook her head. She probably hadn't found the right time to tell them.

I quickly squeezed her hand encouraging and gave her a smile. One of which was quickly returned and I could almost feel the excitement off her.

Guinevere took a deep breath before speaking and as soon as she opened her mouth, Tom looked slightly alarmed. Whether he thought she was going to tell him something awful, I don't know...

"I've got something to tell you!" She told them, sheepishly.

Both Elyan and Tom looked at us expectantly and whilst I did want to put them out of their misery, I also knew that Guinevere wanted to tell them herself. It'd be a nice thing for her to tell them.

"I'm pregnant." The effect that those two words evoked was obvious straight away.

The smile and the look of pride on Tom's face not only made him look about 10 years younger, but I had never seen him so full of life and vigour.

Elyan, on the other hand, looked slightly shocked but nevertheless, happy. It couldn't have been more than a minute before they both came to where we were sitting across the room to give us their congratulations.

**A/N: There you go! I hope you enjoy this. The next chapter is when it really picks up! Guinevere will get some absolutely horrifying news. (I won't say more but it'll be a shock) so make sure you don't miss it. **

**Please review! **


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Here is chapter 30! This chapter is dedicated to KshMckenzie08, who has not only helped me with my ideas for this story but also given me advice! Thank you, you have been an absolute godsend!**

**In this chapter, Gwen will be told by Merlin that Arthur's plane has been shot down! Whilst Guinevere will be led to believe Arthur has died, this story will have a happy ARWEN ending! I just want to see how it would affect her and his family! Thanks for the reviews, favourites and follows! I appreciate them. I don't OWN Merlin!**

After our leave was over, it became apparent that something had happened when Arthur had gone home. Whenever I had asked about him about his Father, Arthur would shut down and not tell me anything. I could see that whatever he had found out was hard for him to comprehend and I knew he would tell me what was wrong, when he wanted to.

It was about a week after we had come back from our leave when he finally did. It was when we were at lunch and after I had asked him whether he was alright, he blurted out everything all in one go. Although, I was shocked by what Arthur had told me, especially, about Morgana, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her, too. After all, Morgana wasn't to blame.

In the days that followed from him telling me, Arthur and I seemed to get closer. We ended up talking about anything and everything and I loved it. The only problem was his mission was soon approaching.

However, it was also around this time when Lieutenant Walker had finally found out about the baby.

FLASHBACK

_As I approached Lieutenant Walker's office, I couldn't but feel apprehensive. The idea of him having found out about the baby was making me feel sick and it was getting worse as I walked. _

_However, I soon reached the door to his office and after taking in a deep breath, I knocked loudly. After a moment or two of waiting, Lieutenant Walker called out to me outside his door. _

"_Do come in." He called, loudly. _

_As soon as I had come into his office, he noticed my somewhat scared expression and tried to ease my feelings by giving me a smile. _

"_Do take a seat, Guinevere. I've had a letter from a Dr. Gaius in regards to your health. Apparently, he is worried about the toll of your duties on your baby." He told me, in a matter of fact tone. _

_I must have looked surprised as he gave me a knowing smile and I couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed. He is, after all, my superior. _

"_What would you like to do about this, Guinevere?" Lieutenant Walker asked me, after a while. _

_Almost instinctively, I looked down to my stomach where an almost unnoticeable bump was visible and I started to think of the baby. As soon as I had found that I was pregnant, I had felt not only ludicrously happy but also so full of love for my baby, that I knew I would do anything for him. _

_Even if it meant I would have to give up something which makes me happy like being a WAAF. _

_After a while, I started telling Lieutenant Walker what I thought about the situation. _

"_I want to continue doing my duties, sir. I want to do my bit for Britain but I cannot risk my baby's health in doing that!" I told him, rather emphatically. _

_Lieutenant Walker nodded to me and he looked deep in thought and I waited with baited breath for him to speak. When he did, I desperately hoped he wouldn't think badly of me for choosing my baby over being a WAAF. _

"_I think it would be insupportable of me to let you continue with your duties now, Guinevere. After your illness earlier on in the year, it wouldn't be advisable for me to let you continue. Do you remember our conversation about you being billeted away from the airfield? Perhaps, I can arrange that, so Arthur can help you with the transition." He told me, and he soon began to write furiously. _

_His words had shown me that he didn't feel badly about me but his words also filled me with excitement. It would mean Arthur and I would be together more and I would have given anything for that. _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Despite the fact that I missed being a WAAF, I also couldn't help but feel excited about the prospect of having the baby. The next two months from moving in to a semi-detached house (which we had let), I was determined to get everything ready for the baby.

Not only did I want everything to be absolutely perfect, especially, his room but it also seemed that the house would never be clean enough. This meant that for most of the day I was painting rooms or cleaning and I honestly didn't mind.

Arthur had, of course, helped me as much as he could. He seemed to want to do everything and anything for me and more often than not, I would tell him he could help me but we'd do it together. As the weeks went along, not only did my pregnancy become even more obvious but every change in me seemed to absolutely fill Arthur will happiness.

Today I had begun to paint the baby's room in a pale yellow colour, and two hours from when I had started, I was still doing it.

Painting hadn't been too stressful as I had always enjoyed things like that but bending down to dip my paint brush in the paint had been a bit of a bother. Being five months pregnant had meant that my stomach was not only protruding greatly but it also seemed to impede my movements.

As I painted, I felt relaxed and happy. I had been scared I would miss being a WAAF but I hadn't. I enjoyed being pregnant and I was absolutely, deliriously happy.

The sound of a knock broke through my musings and I instantly started to feel worried. The knock had sounded urgent and rushed. I quickly made my way to the door but my feet didn't seem to go as fast as I wanted them, too.

I opened the door to the sight of Merlin! My eyes widened in shock and horror as I took in his appearance. Merlin didn't just look haggard and tired; he also looked as if he wanted to cry. His eyes had a glassy expression in them and the sight brought tears to my eyes.

Despite the fact, Merlin seemed to be saying something to me; all I could think of was Arthur. His name kept going around my head as if I was praying to God that he would return to me.

I was vaguely aware of Merlin coming inside and steering me gently and motioned for me to sit down on the sofa. I meekly did so, even though I wanted to run from him and whatever he was going he was going to tell me.

"Gwen…." He breathed, his eyes filling with tears.

Oh, God. No. My mind seemed to stop. Even though, I had thought he was going to tell me something bad, I didn't want to be about Arthur.

"….I am so sorry. Arthur's plane was shot down on his mission earlier on today. He's missing in action, Gwen. I know he would want me to tell you before you receive the telegram. Prepare you for it." Despite the heart-felt tone of Merlin's voice, my mind was screaming.

The prospect of Arthur being missing was horrifying enough but his expression had shown me that he believes him to be dead and even though, it could have been that I was in denial, I could help but think that Arthur couldn't be dead. He can't be!

"No, no. No! He can't be dead, Merlin. I'd feel it if he were dead, I'd, I'd…." As I spoke, tears was blinding my vision and clogging my throat and before I knew what was happening, I was struggling to breath.

Merlin, in an instant, was at my side and he put his hand on my back before speaking to me soothingly.

Despite the fact he was trying to calm me down, I couldn't help but feel start crying at his words.

"I'm not saying he's dead, Gwen. Just that he's missing. Deep breaths, Gwen. " He told me, soothingly.

I did as he instructed and through his words, I knew that I couldn't give up on Arthur. He isn't just my husband. He's my soul mate, best friend, the father of my baby. He's everything I have ever wanted and everything I will ever want.

Merlin had stayed with me for an hour before he had reluctantly gone. Not only did I know that he would have to go back to the airfield as he had only been given a half day pass but I desperately wanted to be alone.

Even though, I didn't feel tired or exhausted, I collapsed on our bed as soon as he had gone. As I did so, I reached for the pillow on the right side of the bed as my back was beginning to ache. However, the pillow faintly smelled of Arthur and as I breathed in his familiar scent, I started to cry in earnest.

"Oh, Arthur, where are you?" I said aloud, between sobs.

With the pillow clutched to my chest, I couldn't stop the tears lashing down my cheeks. Why was my worst nightmare coming to haunt me?

_Arthur's missing, not dead_, I reminded myself firmly.

As I tried to pull myself together, I felt a sharp kick to my ribs. The kick wasn't too painful only startling. Even though, I'm in my fifth month of pregnancy, I had never felt a kick. When I had told this Dr. Gaius, he had simply told me that all expectant mothers are different.

The kick also seemed to remind me that it wasn't just me this would affect but also my baby. Even though, I wanted to keep on crying and sobbing until I know where Arthur is, it seemed selfish and I knew Arthur would hate me for it.

The baby isn't just mine, it's also Arthur's. The baby had always been a blessing to the both of us but now, the baby seems to mean so much more than that.

As it became night, I changed for bed feeling not only saddened to the core but also wishing that this was all a dream. Just like that horrible, awful dream I had in the sanatorium. I had thought that nothing would feel as bad as that but I had been wrong. Nothing could feel as painful as this….

**A/N: Okay! Erm, I just want to say a few things.* Spoilers! This story will have a happy ending! Which, of course, means we will have our two main characters alive and kicking!* Despite how sad this is, I really enjoyed writing it, even if I actually started crying!**

**The next chapter will be from Arthur's POV (Not as a ghost!)**

**Please review! **


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! I really do appreciate them. In this chapter, it will tell about what happened on Arthur's mission and what he's being doing since it happened. This will, of course, be from Arthur's POV. I hope you enjoy the chapter and I still don't OWN Merlin! **

Everything had happened so fast. One minute I had been flying close to the French coast and the next, my plane was hurtling down to the ground rapidly. To say that I had been scared would probably be an understatement but the entire time my plane was losing altitude, the only thing I could think of was Guinevere.

What would happen to her if I died? Would she tell our baby about me? Every question seemed to make even more determined not to die. I, of course, was helpless in stopping my plane from crashing but in the few moments before the plane hit the ground, I had wanted nothing more than to be with Guinevere as the magnitude of what was happening was finally hitting home.

All I could do was hang on for dear life as my plane finally crashed and as I felt the plane impacting into a tree, I needed to grit my teeth as a sharp pain went down my side. For a moment or two, I was too shocked to move but as I saw the engine of the plane smoking, I knew I had to get out of the cockpit.

I had been lucky as all I had to show from my crash were scratches to the side of my body and a rather deep gash to my right leg. As soon as I had limped my way out of the plane, it was obvious that not only did I need to find a place to conceal myself but I would also need to try and get my leg fixed. So, I slowly began to make my way to somewhere. Anywhere where I could be able to conceal myself.

I randomly limped around for while and whilst there was times when I was beginning to think that I wouldn't find anywhere, I couldn't help but think of Guinevere. She wouldn't want me to give up looking for somewhere, especially, if it would mean I would eventually be able to get home in some way or another.

After a while, with my aching leg gradually becoming even more painful, I finally spotted that there seemed to be an abandoned warehouse in front of me. Not only did it look in a dilapidated state as the tiles on the roof desperately seemed to need attention but it seemed to be well hidden by the trees surrounding it.

As I made my way into the warehouse I began to sway as I succumbed to the pain which was making me feel slightly disorientated. I stopped walking for a moment in order to keep my balance but all I seemed to see was Guinevere before me. I tried to blink my eyes as I knew it was a hallucination due to the pain but I didn't want her to leave me. I knew she wasn't real but just the sight of her was soothing.

Before I knew what was happening, I was finally being swamped by the invading darkness I had been fighting….

AN HOUR LATER

With heavy eyelids and an aching body, I tried to open my eyes. During the time I had been unconscious I had seen Guinevere smiling and I couldn't help but yearn for her presence, so I desperately wanted her to see her.

I was aware of footsteps in the room and in a somewhat naïve hope or delusion, my mind jumped to Guinevere. It was as if I could be still at home near her rather than be parted from her. I instantly opened my eyelids and tried to sit up. I saw, with a sinking heart and some apprehension, that it was a man in 60's in front of me instead of Guinevere.

The man, seeing that I was awake, gave me a look which told me he hadn't harmed me or that he didn't intend to. Especially, as I noticed he had banged my leg.

We looked at each other for a couple of moments, and it was obvious that neither one of us wanted to break the silence. However, he had looked after me; it would be rude not to at least say something.

I couldn't help but feel thankful for my father insisting that I learnt French as a child. I had never seen learning another language as important but now I was glad that I had at least learnt something. It would either help me to get home something I would give anything for but it would also help me to find out where I am.

"Bonjour. Parlez-vous anglais?" I asked the man, hoping that I wasn't talking nonsense and that he did know how to speak English.

At my words, the man smiled at my attempt to speak his language but it was one of the few sentences I know.

"Un petite peu." He answered me, simply.

I let out a sigh of relief at his words as he had answered that he knew a little bit. It wasn't too much later until I asked him where I was.

"Can you tell me where I am, monsieur?" I asked him as I moved my leg, making me wince.

The man seemed to be expecting this and in my agitation to know, I seemed to have asked just before he had started to talk. His mouth which was wide open ready for him to talk showed me as much.

"You're in Calais." The man told me, simply, his accent only slightly noticeable.

I couldn't help but feel relieved and hopeful at his words. Not only was I not in the occupied part of France but I was near the coast. Surely, it wouldn't be too difficult to get a boat back to England. The prospect of seeing Guinevere again made me want to start smiling idiotically but despite that, I also couldn't help but be worried about her, too.

After everything that she's been through this year, she doesn't need this. I can't help but feel guilty for putting her through this.

The man seemed to watch how I reacted and in that moment, I realised that I hadn't introduced myself to the man. As he crossed the room to get me a drink, I called out to him.

"I'm Arthur. Thank you for sorting out my leg." I told the man, whose name I still didn't know.

Even though, the man had said he only knew a little bit of English, I could tell he understood what I was saying, more so when he started to tell me his own name.

"De rien. My name is Jacque." He told me, holding out his hand for me to shake.

I deftly took his hand and shook it and whilst he came to give me something in a cup, I could tell he wanted to ask me something.

It was a couple of minutes before he did so. When Jacque did speak next, the tone of his voice was hesitant.

"What happened?" He asked me, as he sat down on a chair, near the bed I was lying on.

At his words, I couldn't help but think back on what had happened. When Guinevere had told me about her dream, I had tried to comfort by telling her that I would never leave her and whilst I did believe what I was telling her at the time, now I can't help but think it won't be easy.

In that cockpit when the plane was hurtling to the ground, what I feared wasn't dying but never seeing Guinevere again or seeing our baby grow up did. The thought was bad enough.

I was faintly aware that I hadn't answered Jacque but I couldn't take my mind off Guinevere. Jacque seemed to realise what I was thinking as he asked me another question.

"Do you have a femme or la petite amie at home?" He asked me, softly, his face looking years younger.

I nodded at his words and I couldn't help but smile as he had asked whether I have a wife or girlfriend and I immediately thought of Guinevere. Even in since a terrible situation, just the thought of her could make me happier.

"My wife's called Guinevere." I told him, still smiling.

Despite the fact, we've been married a couple of months now, every time I use the word 'wife' to describe Guinevere, I can't help but smile. It's as if I still can't believe she married me.

Jacque nodded at my words and his next words proved reminded me of what I need to.

"Your leg needs time to heal but I will try and look for a boat for you." Jacque told me.

Even though, my leg was throbbing and aching, so much so that I couldn't help but involuntarily wince from time to time, I wanted to shout out in joy. If Jacque could get me a boat as soon as possible, it would mean I would be able to get back to Guinevere. Something I would give anything for.

Little did I know that it would be that thought which would keep me going for the next few weeks!

**A/N: Well, here you are. I just want to say, I don't know French very well at all and so the few French bits were extremely difficult for me so if I have anything wrong, please forgive me! Anyway, this chapter was quite hard for me to write for some reason and I have no idea why. **

**I am also looking for someone to translate my fanfictions into different languages so that more people can enjoy them, so if anyone knows of anyone who does it or is interested, please contact me! **

**Anyway, hope you have enjoyed this! **

**Please review. **


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews! They really are encouraging. I know a lot of really want Guinevere to be reunited with Arthur and they will but some things will have to happen before that will happen. This chapter will be from Gwen's POV and you will be able to see whether she's been coping alright and whether she's been able to keep hope alive. (This will be about 3 or 4 weeks after Arthur's disappearance). I don't OWN Merlin!**

After Arthur's disappearance, I was determined to get everything perfect for the baby. Even though, I had said that I would keep positive and believe that Arthur would come back, as the days passed and turned into weeks, it was becoming so much harder.

Every knock at the door, in my mind, was Arthur coming back and I couldn't help feel excited and relieved but when it was the milkman or Freya at the door, it had been hard to keep believing that Arthur would one day return to me. My heart had broken each and every time it had happened.

What had made it even harder were the people around me. My neighbours all seemed to expect me to go around sobbing my heart out or at least look heartbroken. They hadn't even contemplated that I was still hoping and wishing that Arthur would come back to me. It had been that thought which made me get out of the bed in the morning.

Freya and Merlin, on the other hand, had been absolute godsends. They seemed to really understand my desire to keep positive and whenever I mentioned Arthur, they didn't look at me as if I was in denial like my neighbours did. They know how much Arthur means to me. Freya had, also, taken to knitting little clothes for the baby and each and every article was absolutely beautiful. Everything from little blue booties to a knitted teddy bear were all gifts from Freya.

Even if no-one knew of my pregnancy, they surely would now. My bump had always been large and protruding but as the days and weeks passed, it seemed to get even bigger. Ever since I had heard about Arthur, I had become almost paranoid that something would happen to the baby.

Every kick I felt seemed to help erase that fear but I couldn't help but worry. The baby was a link to Arthur and no matter what had happened to Arthur; I desperately wanted to cling on to it. I needed to.

Even though, to everyone around me, I had seemed to be able to cope with the news about Arthur. I had seemed to have fooled my old WAAF's friends but I couldn't fool my heart.

At night, the feeling of despair and longing I felt about Arthur came back to me. Even in my sleep, I would reach out for him as if he was still lying next to me and as I realised he wasn't there, I would inevitably start sobbing. As if my heart would break.

By morning, I would wake up without looking at the other side of the bed. Seeing the spot empty made me feel even worse and I knew I would need to be positive rather than wallow in my despair.

ON WAY TO DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT- THE NEXT DAY

As I was buttoning up my coat, I couldn't help feel nervous. Dr Gaius had told me to get a monthly check up and today was my sixth month check-up.

I looked at the watch on my hand and as I realised that I would have to get a taxi as I would be late, I couldn't help but let out a groan. I had just looked up from my watch when the door went.

My heart thumped at the sound and for a moment, the only sound which I could hear was my erratic heart rate. Ignoring a thumping heart, I went to open the door.

I knew the sight of my father in front of me should have been comforting, especially, at such a time but I wanted Arthur to be standing there, not my father.

Father, seeing the expression on my face, came in and gave me a little hug. The warmth of my Father's arms around me made me feel slightly better but I couldn't help it when the tears came to my eyes.

My Father gently guided me to the settee, and for a moment or two, we didn't say anything or do anything. All we did was hug each other. As Father hugged me, I felt like a little girl again. I had once when I had been about five or six, fallen over when I had been playing in the street and despite not being badly hurt, I had cried so much that my eyes had become sore and red.

Father just bundled me into his arms and had begun to soothe me and slowly, I felt better. Even though, my tears were abating and I had tried to control them, I couldn't help but think about that day.

My Father had always been such a loving Father but on that day, I knew just how much.

I pulled myself away from Father and I looked into his sorrowful eyes. I saw pity in them but also understanding.

"Gwennie, I'm worried about you." He told me, holding my hand.

I tried to smile at my Father but I knew that it wasn't sincere. At his words, I knew I didn't want him to worry about me but what could I tell him for him not to?

"There's no need to be, Father. I'm alright…." My voice was slightly hollow and as I thought about what I had promised, I continued speaking, "...Arthur will come back to me."

My Father looked didn't look particularly reassured by my words but I did see give me a little smile. Whatever I had said was what he wanted to hear.

"I'm glad, Gwennie, that you haven't lost hope." My Father told me, his voice full of emotion.

I hadn't lost hope but it didn't mean that I didn't feel scared, terrified and absolutely alone. I would sometimes feel that Arthur wouldn't come back to me but something. More accurately, someone would say or do something and I would suddenly feel such conviction that Arthur was alive that I would feel guilty for thinking that he wouldn't come back.

"When you're Mother died, I felt as if my world had ended." He admitted to me, looking how I reacted.

I wasn't shocked by his words as I had known how much Mother's death had affected him but this time, I understood him perfectly. However, whilst my Mother had died, Arthur's fate is undecided. Meaning there is hope for Arthur whereas there wasn't any hope for my Mother and Father.

"How did you carry on?" I asked him, curiously.

At my words, Father smiled at me and gave my shoulder a squeeze. It was a move which, although, was simple was also a loving one.

"It was you and Elyan. The two of you reminded me that you needed me and I knew that despite my hurt and despair, you Mother would never have forgiven me for abandoning you." By his words, I knew he was trying to help me but I couldn't help feel sorry for him.

His next words, however, made me feel such a sense of love for him that I wanted to hug him all over again.

"Don't give up hope, Guinevere, because there's still a chance for him." He pleaded, softly.

The sound of my full name sounded unusual out of my Father's lips but I couldn't help but give him a smile at his words. I had missed being called 'Guinevere' as Arthur was the only person ever to call me it and even though, it did feel wrong to be called it, I didn't feel the urge to tell him off.

As I was just about to answer him, I felt the baby kick. Even though, it wasn't particularly hard and painful, I couldn't help but gasp as it happened. It was more that I surprised rather than in any pain. My Father, hearing my gasp, looked panicked and immediately asked me what was wrong.

With a smile, I answered him with this: "It was just the baby giving me a kick!"

At my words, Father returned my smile and he for a moment, I thought I saw tears in his eyes. He gaze had flickered to my stomach and when he looked me in the face, his expression was glassy.

"Well, I think he agrees with me." He told me, referring to the baby.

I shook my head at his words, not because of what he was saying but simply because he had referred to the baby as 'he'. Before Arthur had been reported missing, I would have overjoyed at the prospect of having a boy but for some reason, I can't help but imagine a baby girl when I think of my baby.

**A/N: There you go! I hope you enjoyed this! So, as you can see, Gwen's not been finding it too easy but she is pregnant so her hormones will not be helping much! Anyway, I loved writing the ending for the simple reason that I really like how Tom/Gwen is with each other!**

**There is a poll on my profile about the baby, so please vote! **

**Also, I would love to hear you thoughts!**

**So, please review! **


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews! It's been very interesting and actually quite entertaining reading all of your comments. In this chapter, Gwen and Morgana will have a conversation which will be the start of their friendship! Gwen will also been seen by Gaius which will hopefully, put her mind at rest! I don't OWN Merlin! **

It wasn't too long before Father left me and whilst I was a still a little apprehensive about the appointment, I did feel better. I felt full of hope for the first time in days, and my Father's words had done that. They had not only reminded me about how important having the belief that Arthur will return to me but also that in just under 3 months, I will have a baby.

My taxi had arrived when I was talking to Father but as soon as my Father had left, I quickly went to the taxi before telling him where to go. The journey was surprisingly fast and not even, the odd air raid seemed to be able to disrupt it. For that, I was glad as it meant that it wouldn't be too long until I would get to the Doctor's surgery.

However, as soon as I saw the surgery, I was filled with a sudden sense of dread. A part of me didn't want to go into the surgery because I was scared of what Gaius would tell me and about ten minutes after we had arrived, I was still outside.

In an instant, my mind went to Arthur. He had always been there for me, even when I didn't even see it or know it and now when I want and need him with me, he's away from me. However, I know his absence wasn't his fault and he would come back to me! Arthur had promised me that we would be together forever and I believed him utterly. I didn't have any reason not to.

The thought of Arthur alone compelled me to get past my anxiety about the baby and with shaking legs; I slowly made my way into the surgery. Even if I wasn't anxious, I couldn't have walked any faster as my legs had begun to feel not only painful but also stiff.

As I pushed the door to surgery open, Morgana immediately noticed me. The expression on her face showed me right away that she heard about Arthur and in an attempt to be cordial, I shot her a small smile.

Morgana immediately returned my tentative smile and as I approached her desk, I could see the pity and compassion in her eyes.

"Hello. I'm sorry that I'm late." I told her, apologetically.

At my words, Morgana gave me a reassuring smile which, in a way, reminded me of Arthur which I couldn't help but marvel at and when she spoke to me again her voice was sincere and compassionate.

"Not to worry, Dr Gaius is running late." She told me, looking at the appointment book.

I nodded at her words and I was glad that I hadn't ruined the doctor's schedule. As I was just about to speak to Morgana, my back began to ache something which had been a relatively common occurrence in the past few weeks. The pain wasn't too bad but rather it was uncomfortable, especially, as I was standing.

I must have had a pained expression on my face as Morgana immediately told me to take a seat with a somewhat worried look upon her face.

At her words, I gave her a thankful smile and slowly made my way to a seat before sitting down. Tiredness was becoming one of the hardest parts about my pregnancy as I always seemed to be tired and no matter how well I had slept the night before, I always felt exhausted the morning after.

That, of course, didn't help me when it came to Arthur. Even though, I was trying to be positive, combine the tiredness with my hormones and I would always end up breaking down.

Morgana seemed to be busy but every so often, I would see her looking at me and at times I would think she wanted to come over and talk to me but before she did, it seemed she had changed her mind.

I had been in the surgery reception for about 10 minutes when Dr. Gaius' patient came out and it wasn't long after that, that I was ushered into his room.

I made my way into Dr Gaius' room slowly and as soon as he saw me, he gave me a smile and offered me a seat. My appointed are always in the same style. Gaius seemed to not only want to make sure that my baby and I were healthy physically but also that I was alright given what is happening with Arthur.

I know he means well but how could I answer his questions of "How are you, Gwen?" as I don't even how I feel most the time. Arthur's always in my thoughts but I couldn't tell Gaius that. It was something too personal and I wouldn't feel comfortable saying it.

"You seem to be blooming, Gwen. How's everything with the baby?" He asked me, a moment or two later.

At his words, I couldn't help not only feel sad but also a little apprehensive. His reference to me blooming reminded me of all the changes I was going through and how much Arthur was missing. Arthur had seemed to take so much delight in every change my pregnancy caused and he has already missed so much.

However, I was aware I hadn't answered Dr Gaius and so I started to as I didn't want to waste his time and more importantly, I still felt a little anxious.

"The baby seems to be alright. She's certainly lively as she seems to be kicking all the time now." I confided in him.

Dr Gaius nodded at my words and he didn't look concerned and I couldn't help but think that perhaps that my worry was unfounded.

"That's good, Gwen. Although, every woman is different, kicking is a good indication that everything is going well where the development of the baby is concerned. Is there any other things you've noticed about your pregnancy?" He asked me.

At his words, I couldn't help but think immediately of my back and my legs. When I did tell him of this, he didn't seem too concerned as he told me it was natural.

Throughout our conversation, I couldn't help but yearn for Arthur. He had been such an integral part of my pregnancy that it seems weird being here without him.

Once we had finished talking, he said he would like to examine me and I readily agreed. After all, it would give him a better understanding off my pregnancy.

I made my way over to the bench and at the sight of it I couldn't help but groan. With my bump, I knew it would be hard to get on and off it gracefully. I think Gaius saw this as he held out a hand for me to take whilst I stepped on to it.

AFTER THE EXAMINATION

The examination like most of the ones with Dr Gaius was quick but thorough. He had checked the size of my bump as well as some other things.

He seemed to realise that it would be a bit hard for me to get off the bench with my bump as it was affecting my balance so he had assured me that he could talk to me here and not on the seats.

"Everything seems to be going how it should." He told me, soon as I had re-positioned myself on the bench.

I let out a sigh of relief that I didn't particularly know I had been holding and Dr Gaius gave me a happy smile.

He, once again, helped me off the bench and this time I wasn't too worried about getting off it gracefully. This time I couldn't but think of Arthur and the baby.

It wasn't too much longer before my appointment was over as the surgery was closing and as I said goodbye to Gaius, I couldn't help but feel not only relieved but also tired. He had set my mind at rest and for that, I was thankful!

I hadn't seen Morgana as I stepped into the reception and I surmised that she'd probably went home. Even though, I knew that I would need to talk a bus or a taxi, I also wanted a bit of walk.

Ignoring my legs which still felt a little sore as well as my back, I started to walk. I couldn't have got fifty yards before I heard someone calling me.

"Mrs Pendragon!" I heard the voice call. The voice was female and very familiar I couldn't help but notice.

I whipped around to look and a little away behind me was a very flustered looking Morgana. At the sight of her, I waited patiently for her to catch up with me and she quickly did.

As I looked at Morgana, she not only looked flushed but also very tired. She must have been calling me for a long time…I couldn't help but feel slightly guilty.

"I wanted to talk to you about Arthur. To say I'm sorry for what happened." She told me, assuming that I already knew about her heritage.

At her words, I gave her a small smile. I could see that she really did care about Arthur and even though, Arthur hadn't told me everything what had happened, I knew he didn't blame her in the slightest.

"Thank you." I told her, thinking.

Morgana seemed to be not finished as then went on to tell me about what happened and as she did, I couldn't help but feel for her.

The way she told me about it was so heartfelt and sincere that I couldn't help but sympathise with her and the situation. I would have the exact same thing if I had been in her position.

"I shouldn't have pushed Uther to tell Arthur who I was. All it caused was heart-ache for everyone." She confessed to me, apologetically.

I could see that she really believed that the hard feeling between Uther and Arthur were her fault. I felt such a desire to comfort her that I couldn't help doing it.

"You did what you thought right. No-one would have guessed how Arthur would have reacted towards his Father. Arthur doesn't blame you, you know?" I told me, softly.

Morgana's eyes widened, at my words, in disbelief and despite the fact she hadn't asked me for confirmation, I was aware that I was nodding as if to show that what I was saying was true.

"I never knew that." She murmured to me, softly, her eyes glistening with tears.

In that moment, I knew this woman was not only a compassionate, caring woman but also a sensitive one. I couldn't help but feel some sort of connection with her.

It was one of the reasons why I said what I did next.

"How about you come around for a cup of tea?" I asked her, watching her reaction.

Although, Morgana looked slightly shocked by his words, she also looked happy and for that I was glad.

Despite the fact, I was bone tired and all I had wanted to do was fall asleep, Morgana had seemed such a lovely woman that I wanted to get to know her more.

"I would love to." Morgana told me, smiling.

Those four words somehow not only showed her gratitude but also something else much deeper. My offer of tea wasn't just tea to her but much more. It was the start of her getting to know her family.

**A/N: There you go. I really enjoyed writing the Morgana/Gwen scenes because I really think they could be, if given the chance, good friends! In the next chapter, Gwen will be going into labour (time will have passed) and a certain person will be there with her! **

**I hope you have enjoyed this!**

**Please review!**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! I really appreciate every single of them! This chapter, like I've said before, is the one in which Gwen goes into labour. I have been thinking really hard about the baby and what it will be but I hope you won't be disappointed! Arthur will, of course, be back very soon and I cannot wait to write it. I hope you enjoy this chapter! I don't OWN Merlin!**

Morgana turned out to be just how I had thought her to be. She seemed to be not only caring and compassionate but also very intelligent. After we had tea together, our friendship went from strength to strength. At first I had asked her to come to tea because I had wanted to comfort her but as we talked more, I realised that I really did like her.

More to the point, she seemed to think the same about me. Very quickly, we had developed a habit of speaking nearly every day and I couldn't but feel relieved that I had some to talk to who understood how I felt.

I had told Morgana about Arthur and my hope for him to return to me and to my amazement, she didn't look at me like I was insane. If anything, she seemed to understand that I couldn't give up. When she had answered me after I had told her, she had simply told me: "I'm glad, Gwen."

The more I talked to her, the more I liked her. It was a couple of weeks after I had first started being friends with Morgana, when I introduced Freya to her. At first, I was a little apprehensive about introducing them to each other but once I explained who Morgana was and everything, Freya was so warm and affectionate to her.

So much so, that I felt a little foolish to have feel apprehensive. In the weeks that followed, Freya had knitted me even more pieces of clothing for the baby and when Morgana had marvelled at the intricate details on it, Freya had offered to teach her. The smile of delight Morgana gave her made Freya's day.

Throughout my conversations with both Morgana and Freya, I couldn't keep my mind away from Arthur. Even though, throughout the days, I was edging closer to having the baby I couldn't help but hope that I would have him next to me, holding my hand. The thought of him being dead I couldn't even contemplate. I knew that if I pondered it I would end up sobbing and crying my heart out!

Today had gone extra fast and as I clambered into bed, I couldn't help but wince. Not only were my feet aching and sore but my back was becoming to hurt as well. Today Morgana had come around to give me her latest attempt at a jumper which, although, looked a little distorted and deformed, I thought it was beautiful!

Throughout the day, I had been in discomfort and I couldn't help but feel tired. Whenever the baby wasn't kicking, I felt achy and uncomfortable. Luckily, I did have Morgana on hand to help me do things I couldn't do like tie my shoelaces.

My bump was, by now, so dominating and big that I couldn't see my feet and whenever I try to look at them, I would always end up losing balance. When I had asked Morgana about it, she had simply told me it was normal for women who are eight months pregnant.

With that thought, I slowly drifted off to sleep, taking comfort in the warmth of my bed.

THE NEXT DAY

My sleep hadn't been as peaceful as I wanted or needed. Every time I closed my eyes, I seemed to dream of Arthur and even though, my heart soared at the sight of him, I would always end up waking up feeling heart sore and unhappy.

If that wasn't bad enough, my back pain was increasing rapidly. So much so, that I couldn't get back to sleep. In the end, I had resorted to walking up and down my bedroom to not only ease my back pain but also to tire myself out.

I had only been doing it for about 10 minutes when a shark kick to my stomach stopped me momentarily. The kicks had been frequent when I had been in bed and I couldn't help but worry something was wrong.

As morning had finally broken, I made my way downstairs (after I had dressed) and I tried to focus on anything else other than the pain I was feeling. The pain wasn't unbearable, just uncomfortable. The thought that Morgana was coming to see as she had told me so, cheered me….

It was about 2 hours after I come down stairs before there was a knock on the door. The sound was such a relief. Even though, it could be anyone, I couldn't help it. Morgana, at times, reminded me of Arthur and I would give anything for that.

I shuffled to the door and opened it abruptly. I couldn't help but feel slightly unhappy at who was before me. Standing before me, looking sheepish and uncertain was Uther Pendragon. As he noticed me looking at him, his hard expression once again returned.

"Hello, Guinevere." He greeted me, stiffly.

The sound of my full name coming out of his mouth made me immediately think of Arthur. I think it must have been my hormones and the pain but I couldn't do anything about the tears gathering in my eyes.

I was aware that Mr Pendragon was looking at me appraisingly, his eyes lingering on my stomach before looking at me in the face.

It was this which reminded me that I hadn't yet asked him in. Blinking back my tears, that's exactly what I tried to do. Even though, I knew Arthur would hate me for asking him in, I wanted to know why he was at my door.

"Mr Pendragon, will you come in?" I asked, my voice sounded more timid than I would have liked.

Mr Pendragon looked a little concerned but nevertheless, acquiesced to my request and quickly stepped inside of the door.

"Of course." He murmured to me, as he looked around my living room.

Even though, Mr Pendragon didn't look as antagonistic as he normally is, I didn't want to be near him. My curiosity was beginning to diminish and I had no idea why he was he here. After a moment or two, I began to wish I had never asked him in.

"May I ask why you're here, Mr Pendragon?" I asked after I had become slightly exasperated.

Mr Pendragon, at my words, looked at me sight in the eye and I knew whatever he was going to tell me would pertain to Morgana. When he did start to speak, I was glad I had asked.

"I'm here to talk about my son." He admitted to me.

I could tell by his tone of voice that Arthur's disappearance had affected him greatly and despite how uncomfortable, I'm feeling I couldn't help but feel for him even if he did cause Arthur to hate him.

Before I got to speak to him or ask him anything, a sharp almost disabling pain ripped through my body. The abruptness of it made me grit my teeth in order to stop myself from crying out. The look of horror on Mr Pendragon's face would have perhaps been quite funny but as I felt a cold liquid running down my legs, I felt no inclination to laugh.

"What's wrong, Gwen?" He asked me, as he came forward to where I was standing near the sofa.

I looked down to floor and as I saw the clear liquid, I knew exactly what was happening to me. The pain in the night, the aching, everything made sense now.

"I'm having my baby." I breathed out, in pain as a contraction hit.

At my words, Uther looked not only absolutely horrified but also ridiculously worried. He inched forward to me with frantic steps.

I had never seen him so worried about anyone before and it was deeply unsettling. Normally, from what Arthur had led me to believe, he doesn't show his emotion. At the thought, panic and fear rose in me and as I looked at Arthur's father, I wanted him to know what to do.

"What…what can I do?" He asked me, evenly.

From his tone and despite his words, I knew he had recollected his emotions and as another contraction hit me again, I couldn't help but cry out in pain.

"Mhm!" I moaned, as I clutched my stomach.

Another knock at the door broke into my pain and I was vaguely aware of Uther going to open to door. The sight of Morgana before me was such a relief; I desperately wanted to cry out in relief.

Morgana rushed to my side and seeing my face, seemed to realise what was going on. Much to my relief, she immediately took control.

"I need blankets, hot water and towels." She told Uther, hurriedly.

As she did so, I couldn't help but wonder if she had done this before. As I thought about it, she gently told me to lie down which confused me greatly. Shouldn't I be going to Gaius?

As I was just about to ask her, she noticed my face and immediately began to explain why I wasn't going to see Gaius.

"We can't afford you get any more dilated if we move to you Gaius'. You may deliver before and given the bombs, I don't think we can risk it." She told me, apologetically.

Her words hadn't reassured me at all and I managed to gasp out the question: "Have you done this before?"

She gave me a smile and I hoped she was going to tell me that she had. When she did begin to speak, I felt rather sick.

"Yes. I've accompanied Gaius on a couple of births." She told me.

At her words, I nodded to her and I didn't want to ponder her words as I knew I would worry myself.

As soon as we stopped talking, Mr Pendragon came bounding up to Morgana before giving the things to her. He looked at me on the floor with worried eyes but I could sense that he felt uncomfortable.

Even more so, as Morgana draped a towel over my lower half to protect my modesty.

"You don't have to stay, Mr Pendragon." I told him, in between my deep breaths.

The pain wasn't constant but as I felt a contraction coming on and this time a stronger one, I had to clench my hands tightly in order to stop myself from groaning.

Morgana seeing this didn't look too worried and I felt a little better but as the contraction passed, I felt absolutely terrified.

This wasn't how I wanted to go into labour. I want Arthur, not his Father. I want to feel his hand in between mine; I want to hear his soothing words in my ear. For a moment or two, I felt a sudden desire to sob but Morgana soon commandeered my attention.

"Gwen, in a bit you will have a desire to push. Your contractions are getting close now. Don't fight that desire, Gwen." She told me, firmly.

I nodded to her but I was astounded, everything's happening so fast and I was beginning to think that I couldn't do this. Even more so, when I noticed Mr Pendragon looking at me.

As if Morgana could see the future, it wasn't too much longer before I did feel the desire push. The contractions were becoming stronger and stronger and as the pain increased, I couldn't help but feel absolutely terrified.

As I began to push, nothing seemed to happen and after a few attempts, it seemed absolutely fruitless. Morgana and Uther exchanged a worried glance and pure terror went through me. What if I couldn't this? I started to sob in earnest at the thought.

"I can't do this," I sobbed to Morgana and Uther, "I want Arthur. I really do!"

Morgana gave me such a sympathetic look that I wanted to close my eyes to it but it was the expression on Uther's face which gave me strength. For the first time, he looked at me as if he didn't despise me. Almost as if he doesn't mind me giving birth to his grandchild.

As another contraction hit me and I began to push, I was vaguely aware of Uther's voice talking to me.

"I know you miss my son, Gwen, we all do! He once told me how strong you are, so show me that you are!" He commanded to me, softly.

His words reminded me of how Arthur saw me and I couldn't help but feel determined. I didn't want to let Arthur down, especially, after all that's happening.

It seemed that the push was more successful than the last one as Morgana told me: "I can see the head, Gwen, one more push now!"

Those words were the one thing I wanted to hear at this moment. It showed me that I could do it. After all, I had come this far and the thought of letting Arthur down is absolutely heart-breaking.

Morgana was right as the night push which had been fuelled by thoughts of Arthur that had signalled the arrival of my baby. As Morgana exclaimed that I had done it, I didn't feel elated or excited- yet! I knew I wouldn't until I hear the baby cry.

I raised my head from the pillow Morgana had placed under my head to look at the baby in Morgana's arms. For a couple of excruciating moments, the silence hung thickly in the air and all I could focus on was the baby in Morgana's arms.

As the baby began to scream as if it was being murdered, a smile of absolute, utter glee was on my face. Morgana wrapped the baby softly, with a blanket and handed the baby to me.

"It's a girl, Gwen." She smiled, tearfully.

I smiled at her words and as I gazed at the baby in my arms, I couldn't stop the tears that came to my eyes. The tears began to flow slowly and steadily down my cheeks and as I blinked at the baby in my arms, I marvelled at the sight.

The baby was absolutely beautiful. The thick, luscious looks of hair on the baby, although, was mattered with blood, reminded me of Arthur. When the baby opened her eyes to gaze at me, I felt a lump in my throat.

Her baby blue eyes gazed at me and they resembled Arthur's so strongly, that I couldn't help but start crying.

The feeling of the baby in my arms was wondrous and if it wasn't for Arthur not being here, the moment would have been perfect. More than ever, I wanted and needed him here with me. Our baby gazing at me with his eyes and I couldn't help but smile, despite the ach in my chest.

I was aware that Morgana had uttered something along the lines of "After-birth" but I was absorbed with our baby.

I turned to look at Uther as he was looking at the baby in wonder and I couldn't help but wonder if he had been present at Arthur's birth. The look of wonder and adoration on his face seemed an almost strange expression on his face.

"Do you want to hold her?" I asked him, softly.

Uther removed his gaze from the baby and looked up to my flushed, sweaty face. The look he gave me I knew I would remember forever.

It was pure shock but he had done his bit for me when I was in labour and he had a right to hold her.

"Of course." He uttered, his gaze following on the bundle in my arms again.

I softly handed the baby to him and I watched with curiosity as he cradled the baby tenderly. So tenderly that I had a sudden urge to cry. He seemed to be besotted with the baby and I couldn't help the feeling of wanting Arthur being the one holding his daughter, not his father.

"Do you have a name ready?" He asked me, as the baby looked up to him.

I hadn't thought about names but a name I had seen in a book about baby names seemed to come to me. With a slightly watery smile, I answered him.

"Yes. I want to name her Arya." I answered him, smiling.

He smiled at my words but his smile widened as he looked at the baby, who lay peacefully in his arms.

"Arya Pendragon. I think it suits her." He told me, smiling.

Although, I answered him with a smile, I couldn't help but wish Arthur was here. With me and our baby.

**A/N: There you go! This is the longest ever update and I really enjoyed writing this even if it's been slightly stressful. I hope have enjoyed this because I have really put my heart and soul into this! I did want twins but as I thought about it, I wanted a girl for Arthur and Gwen. It just seemed to fit! Well, I hope it's not too awful as this is my first birth I've ever written!**

**Please review!**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Over 300 reviews! I never thought I would get that many, so it is all down to you! Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter, I definitely enjoyed writing it. This chapter will give you some answers about Uther as to why he disliked Gwen and it will also be the chapter where Gwen will find out about Arthur being alive. I DON'T own Merlin! : )**

Morgana had, about an hour so, left us alone to get something for Arya leaving Mr Pendragon and I alone. Despite the fact we were in a companionable silence, I felt no urge to break it. Uther still had baby Arya in his arms which meant I could have a sleep. I had a faint suspicion that he just didn't want to give her back! I started smiling at the thought.

Even though, I not only felt absolutely exhausted and drained, I also didn't want to take my attention away from Arya. She was, of course, sleeping soundly in Mr Pendragon's arms but I still felt apprehensive. I knew that I was feeling was due to Arthur as Arya was a link to him and even more so than before, I didn't want anything to happen to her and that link.

As Uther gazed at Arya in his arms, I remembered that he hadn't talked to me about Arthur as he wanted. Given that we were alone and I was a lucid I was going to get for the next couple of days, I decided it was as good a time as any.

However, before I talked to Uther, he seemed to have the exact same idea and start talking to me. When he did start, I couldn't help notice that his voice was full of an emotion I had yet to see from him. Guilt and hurt….

"I bet you're wondering why I am here." He stated, softly, as he looked at me.

I nodded my head, at his words, but I didn't say thing. I had a faint suspicion that he was going to tell me something that was either important to him or something painful. Even though, he hasn't taken to me or my marriage, I knew I needed to show him compassion. He was, after all, Arthur's father and Arya's grandfather.

As soon as Mr Pendragon saw my nod, he continued his story slowly. What he was going to tell me, I didn't have a clue what it was but I was glad he was telling me something and opening up to me.

"My wife, Ygraine, was such a lovely woman, Gwen. She was everything you'd ever need or want in a woman. She was intelligent, beautiful and loving. My wife had never been in perfect health but as soon as she became pregnant with Arthur, she seemed to get even worse. Her health deteriorated so fast and I couldn't do anything…." As he said this, he trailed off, and closed his eyes.

For a moment, I could see he was deep in his thoughts and it made me realise that he hadn't told this to someone before. The fact he was saying it to me meant a lot.

"….A couple of months of her being pregnant, she found out she had cancer. We got told the treatment for her cancer but each one of them involved potentially damaging the baby. Ygraine was adamant she wouldn't have any treatment which would affect the baby, especially, as she thought they couldn't help her. At that time, I didn't try and persuade her since I wanted an heir. So, you see, Gwen, her death was my fault!"

By the tone of his voice I knew he felt guilty about his part in his wife's death, but as I turned my attention to Arya, I realised something.

I'd willingly die if it would mean that Arya would never feel even an ounce of pain and I couldn't help point that out to Uther. Ygraine would have known what the consequences of her decision were.

"You can't blame yourself, Mr Pendragon. Your wife must have known what she was doing. She must have loved Arthur a great deal!" I told him, trying to ignore the pang in my chest as I mentioned Arthur.

At my words, Uther looked at me with piercing eyes. As he did so, he looked even guiltier. My attempts to comfort him weren't exactly working very well at all.

"She did love Arthur a great deal. She fought for a year before she couldn't go anymore. After that, I had to bring up Arthur." Uther sounded so heartbroken something which I couldn't help but sympathise with.

I must have looked at him with pity because before I knew it, he had changed the subject. The reason why he had come to talk to me- Arthur!

"I actually wanted to talk to you about Arthur. You see, Gwen, what had happened with my wife was one of the worst things to ever happen to the both of us and I didn't want my son to get hurt. When Arthur told me that he was in love, I was worried you didn't love him or something would happen to one of you. That was one of the main reasons why I couldn't accept your marriage." Mr Pendragon told me, simply.

Even though, I had a faint suspicion that he had kind of accepted me, I couldn't help but feel hurt by him saying that he was worried that I didn't love Arthur. It almost made me want to yell out how much I love his son and how much I die the every time I think about him hurt or dead!

Before I could so, he seemed to realise I was going to speak again as he opened his mouth to continue.

"I see now that you do really love him, Gwen." He told me, before looking at Arya again.

At his words, my eyes filled with tears as I thought of Arthur. In the last few days, I had racked my brain trying to remember the last time I had told Arthur that I had loved him and I couldn't. Every time I tried, I would simply not be able to.

Had I told him on the day of his mission that I loved him? The day before? I can't remember and I couldn't help but feel guilty about it.

The sound of the door opening announced Morgana's arrival and I looked immediately at Arya, who seemed to wake up at the arrival of her aunt before giving an almighty scream. Morgana, seeing this, gave me an apologetic look.

Uther looked a little startled by the sound of Arya's wails and I motioned for him to pass her over to me. He readily complied and started standing.

"Shh, Arya, honey." I cooed, softly, gently cradling her.

Uther came up to my side and I could tell he was going to go. He had after all been with me for quite a while now and I couldn't help but thank him for that.

"Can I come and visit Arya next week?" He asked, simply.

I nodded to him, at his words, as I couldn't bring myself to tell him he couldn't. He was, after all, her grandfather and I could he was going to be a beloved one at that.

As soon as he saw my nod and after giving Morgana a hug, he made his way out of the house. Arya seemed to realise that my attention was sorely focused on her and stopped crying abruptly. So abruptly, I couldn't help wonder whether it'd be always like it.

It couldn't have a minute later, before Morgana came up to Arya and me and as she did so, I saw what Morgana had gone to collect. In Morgana's hands was the most beautiful teddy bear I had ever seen.

It wasn't fluffy in the slightest but rather it was knitted. Nevertheless, the bear looked not only intricately made but also absolutely pink. Morgana noticed me looking and as she extended it out to me to give to Arya, I noticed Morgana was blushing profusely. With a smile, I knew she had knitted it herself.

"It's absolutely gorgeous, Morgana. Did you knit it yourself?" I asked her, as I took the bear from her.

Morgana, at my words, nodded sheepishly and I couldn't help the smile which was breaking out in my face. I felt so full of gratitude to her that I wanted to hug her. I gingerly stood up wincing slightly as I did so, and that's exactly what I did.

I could tell Morgana was caught unawares by my hug but nevertheless, she welcomed it.

"Thank you for being here, Morgana." I told her, emotionally.

She shrugged at my words smiling and in that moment, I couldn't help notice how much she looked like Arthur. Her eyes were alight with the adoration she felt for Arya and I had seen that look in Arthur.

I had to stifle a sob as I thought about Arya and as Arya began to cry, yet again, in my arms, I couldn't think about him again.

LATER THAT DAY

I had just put Arya in her Moses basket as Gaius had just come to check us both over. Not only did I feel absolutely shattered but also relieved. Gaius had given her a clean bill of health and as I gazed at her as she dozed off, I couldn't help but smile slightly.

When I had fallen for Arthur, I had been so adamant that I would never love anything or anyone as much yet even more Arya was born, I loved her with all my heart. However, I couldn't ponder the thought as the door went.

I immediately frowned at the sound as it was getting late. The watch on my left hand had told me so. The sound wasn't very loud and for that I was absolutely thankful. Not only did I not want Arya to be awakened as she had already slept and been woken up twice but also I didn't want to Morgana to be disturbed.

Morgana had insisted that she didn't mind waiting for Gaius to come but when he had left, she had seemed to be reluctant to leave us. To be honest, I didn't want her to go.

If she had went, I would have to cope on my own and the thought of it is terrifying enough.

As quickly as I could (and yet again wincing from time to time), I made my way down the stairs hoping that the person at the door wouldn't be too loud.

I quickly opened to door and as soon as I saw who it was, I felt my heart stop abruptly. In front of me, was Arthur. His pale blue eyes looked dull and tired and his hair had grown but in that moment, he had never looked more handsome.

"Hello, Guinevere." He told me, smiling.

As soon as my brain could process who was in front of me, I couldn't stop myself from flinging myself into Arthur's more than willing arms. Arthur, with a smile on his face, gladly wrapped his arms around me. I looked into Arthur's eyes and in that moment, I felt my resolve finally slipping.

In the months which followed Arthur's disappearance, I had tried to be strong and not even contemplate the idea of Arthur being dead but with warmth of Arthur's arms around me, I realised just how much he means to me.

As I started to sob, Arthur tightened his hold on me before he wiped a tear from my face with his thumb. How loving and tender the movement was made me want to cry again but I desperately wanted to talk to him.

We were still entwined in each other's arms, the feeling comforting us both, when I realised that we were standing outside.

Without letting go of each other, we slowly made our way into the house. The feeling of Arthur's hands on my waist, his breath against my neck, the feeling of his wedding band on my hand was making me want to whoop for joy!

The man who had commandeered my heart and soul had returned to me and it seemed almost too good to be true.

"Guinevere. I've missed you! Oh, God, I've missed you!" He exclaimed as we gazed at each other.

Those three simple words made my heart leap in my chest for one simple reason. It meant what was happening is real!

Arthur's gaze was, now, at my bump and his eyes widened and in that moment, I knew I would have to tell him he'd missed his daughter's birth!

**A/N: There you go! I wanted Uther to actually have a reason as to why he didn't like Guinevere rather than simply being a bigot! So, Arthur's back! I didn't really plan for him to be back in this chapter but I felt it was soon enough even if a bit sad since he's missed the birth by a few hours! **

**I hope you've enjoyed this as much as I have!**

**Please review! **


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews, I really enjoyed reading them. As all writers do! Anyway, in this chapter, Arthur will see Arya for the first time so expect some gushiness and some father/daughter bonding (there will be loads more in the upcoming chapters, don't worry). I want this chapter to be in Gwen's POV but the next one will be from Arthur's as I will tell you about how he's got home and what's happened to Jacque. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I still don't OWN Merlin! **

As I explained slowly to Arthur about already having the baby, a tumult of emotions crossed Arthur's face. Firstly, Arthur looked slightly guilty as I had explained the rest of my pregnancy from after he had gone missing but as I explained how I had went in birth earlier today, he looked even guiltier. However, he also looked excited at the prospect of seeing Arya.

"Can I see her?" He asked me, once I had finished talking.

The tone of his voice had told me all I needed to know. I could tell that he was still in shock and I can't really blame him. After all, the last time he had seen me was when I was five months gone.

I nodded to him, smiling, before taking him by the hand and making our way up the stairs. The feeling of Arthur's hand in mine was such a wondrous feeling that I couldn't help but keep glancing at Arthur to see if he was really with me.

Arthur, seeing this, gave my hand a squeeze and kept smiling at me. However, there was something in his smile which made me want to frown. He not only looked apprehensive but also slightly guilty. I couldn't help but wish to relieve those feelings but I knew that he sees Arya he'll be fine.

We softly made our way into our bedroom in order to not wake Arya. As soon as Arthur spied Arya sleeping peacefully in her Moses basket, I saw him look at her in wonder. His blue eyes were alight with awe and happiness and I started smiling at the sight. It was absolutely obvious that not only was he was besotted with his daughter but the protectiveness his eyes showed me, he felt the surge of protectiveness and love all new parents do just like I did.

Not only did he look absolutely contented but as I saw him gaze at Arya's delicate little hands and feet, I saw him gaze at her with complete, utter love.

"She's absolutely precious, Guinevere." He breathed to me, smiling.

My eyes filled with tears of happiness at his words and as I looked to Arthur, who was still gazing happily at our baby, I realised that I felt whole. Throughout the rest of my pregnancy, there had always been something missing and I knew it was Arthur but now, I feel absolutely fulfilled.

"Yes, she is." I told him, softly.

Arthur took his attention away from Arya for a moment and turned to look at me. As soon as he had done so, I saw the look in his eyes. He had always been a loving husband before he had went missing as I could always see the love he felt for me in his eyes but this time, there wasn't just love in his eyes but also pride as well. Pride that we had managed to create something as absolutely beautiful and precious as Arya…..

Arthur hadn't let go off my hand the entire time and I hadn't felt the desire to let go of his either. After everything that had happened, I didn't want let him go for a minute and as Arthur pulled me into another hug, I knew he felt the same.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you, Guinevere. I've missed so much." He admitted to me, in the hug.

At his words, I couldn't help but slightly angry. Arthur hadn't gone missing on purpose and I felt the need to tell him so he would stop blaming himself.

When I did so, my voice was a little sharper than I would have liked.

"It wasn't your fault, Arthur. You're here for Arya and I and that's all that matters!" I told him, emphatically, looking up to his face.

At soon as I mentioned Arya, Arthur started to smile and for what seemed the hundredth time since I had answered the door, I wanted to thank God that Arthur had returned to me.

"I love you, Guinevere." Those three words came so smoothly out of Arthur's lips and the sound of them were so ecstatic that I was half torn between crying out of happiness or telling him how I feel. After gazing at Arthur for a moment, I decided to tell him my feelings.

As I did so, the look of pure love I received from Arthur made me feel as if we were still at the airfield waiting to be married again. It was as if he couldn't wait for our life together to start. Even though, technically, it already had as we were now married, Arya's birth would mean a whole new chapter.

A couple of moment later, a piercing wail came for the Moses basket and we reluctantly ended our hug.

I looked at my watch and seeing that it was time to give her the milk, I knew she would be hungry hence the reason for her crying. With Arthur standing next to me, I bent down and softly picked Arya up before rocking her gently.

I could feel Arthur looking at me and I knew he wanted to hold her. As I motioned for him to come to me so he could hold her, Arthur looked absolutely ecstatic. The look of joy on his face filled me not only with happiness but relief. In that moment, I knew that everything would be alright.

After I had shown Arthur how to hold Arya properly, I slowly transferred Arya into Arthur's more than willing arms.

"I'll just go and get her bottle." I told him, softly.

He nodded to me, looking a little apprehensive but I could tell he wanted to bond a little with his daughter and him holding her would help that. As I reached up to give Arthur a kiss on his check, I gave him a reassuring smile.

I quickly made my way downstairs before going into the kitchen. I must have still been in shock as I searched for the bottle I had ready made for Arya. Just as I was about to come back up the stairs, I realised Morgana was coming down the stairs.

I was swamped with guilt as I noticed how tired she looked. Not only did her raven hair look a little untidy as it was in absolute disarray but the bags under her eyes reiterated how tired she must be. As she rubbed her eyes, I realised the knock on the door had woken her up.

"I heard the door. Who was it?" She muttered, half asleep, before yawning widely.

At her words, I wondered whether I should tell her straight away or wait for her to have woken up properly. When she sat down on the sofa, I decided just to come out with it as I was slightly too happy not to tell someone.

"It was Arthur!" I told her, smiling happily.

Morgana, at my words, was visibly shocked as I waited for the barrage of questions to come, they didn't. She opened her mouth to speak a couple of times but she never uttered a word. She seemed too shocked to say anything.

After a couple of seconds, she finally started talking and this time she sounded a little happier and less shocked.

"That's great, Gwen." She told me, simply.

Despite the simplicity of her words, I knew Arthur returning was a big thing for her and as I looked into her eyes, I saw some apprehension and in that instant, I knew why she was acting the way she is. After all, the last time she had talked to Arthur, it had hardly gone smoothly.

"I had better give Arya her bottle." I told her, motioning the bottle in my hand.

She nodded and gave me a smile. I wanted to speak to her more, to reassure her about the situation but I aware that Arya was probably still crying even if I couldn't hear her from downstairs.

I once again made my way upstairs. Before I entered our bedroom, I heard Arthur talking to Arya. Although, from where I was standing, his voice was muffled, I could still hear his words clearly enough.

"How could I miss your birth, Arya? I had already missed so much. You do realise that you're my little princess, don't you?" He told her, as he rocked her. His voice full of tenderness and sincerity. So tender that I felt that I was intruding simply by listening.

To my amazement, as I made my way into the bedroom, I noticed that not only had Arya stopped crying but she was gazing up at Arthur. Even though, her gaze was slightly unfocused, something told me she was looking at her daddy.

Arthur noticed my presence and the blush on his face told me he knew that I had heard some of what he had told her. Either way, I didn't want to embarrass him and as I passed the bottle to him, I could help smiling at him.

Throughout my pregnancy, I had been absolutely terrified of losing Arya because she was link to Arthur but from the moment she had been born, she was so much more than that. How can you love something so small and delicate so emphatically? I had never thought I would love someone as much as Arthur as soon as Arya was born, I did.

Everything I had ever dreamed of was coming true. When I had married Arthur, I never believed I would feel as fulfilled as I did then but as I looked to Arya in Arthur's arms guzzling her milk greedily and Arthur shooting me loving looks in between gazing at Arya, I felt so complete that I was worried, I would combust.

**A/N: There you go! In the next chapter, it will be from Arthur's POV but he will also find out about Morgana and his father and Gwen will be finding out about what's happened to him. Including his leg! **

**I hope this was alright. There isn't too many to go. About 4 at the most, so make the most of the story!**

**Please review! **


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Thank you for all the support, reviews, follows, etc. I appreciate them all! In this chapter, Arthur will find out about Morgana's role in his daughter's birth and there will be some sibling bonding, hopefully! There isn't too much left in this fic but I want to make sure that the story is finished properly, rather than leaving it hanging. I hope you all enjoy this! This chapter will be from Arthur's POV (just so you know). I don't OWN Merlin! **

_FLASHBACK_

_The bright scorching sun filtered through the window across from me and despite not being directly in its path, I couldn't help but shrink away from it. The heat from the sun was making me feel even hotter so much so that perspiration had begun to run down my back, from my neck to the base of my spine. _

"_Arthur? Are you alright? " Jacque asked, worriedly. His voice sounded distant and I couldn't remember where he was or see him. _

_I was faintly aware of Jacque talking but all I could focus on the heat coursing through my body. The night before my leg had begun to feel uncomfortable and laced in pain but all I could feel now from my leg was heat. _

_Jacque, seeing that I was making no attempt to speak to him or answer, came up to me and put a hand to my head. _

_His expression changed immediately and as I looked at him, I couldn't help notice that his face looked slightly distorted and unusual. His face, although, round and plump seemed to be a little of centre and as I looked closer, his features mainly his nose and eyes seemed to dominate his face. They looked too big for his face. The thought and sight was absolutely terrifying and when he spoke, it didn't help me to feel any calmer. _

"_Calm down, mon ami," He told me, slowly._

_I tried to focus on his words but my head felt like it was on fire. Every time I tried to concentrate on him and his voice, I simply couldn't. _

"_You've got a fever, that's all!" Jacque finished, before getting a damp cloth. _

_It couldn't have been long before he came back to me and placed it upon my forehead. The feeling of the cool, cold cloth upon my head seemed to not only alleviate some of the heat but also calm me down. _

_Jacque pulled a chair for him to sit on next to the bed I was lying on, and with a concerned Jacque watching me intently, I drifted off to a less than peaceful dream!"_

_END OF FLASHBACK_

A noise had woken me up and I had immediately thought of my fever. I suppose I wanted to make sure that what had happened wasn't another feverish dream. After 3 days of being a feverish and disorientated state, I had eventually woken up. When I had woken up, I not only felt sore and fatigued to core but also thankful for Jacque

He had tried to help me the first time he had met me by cleaning my wound, and it wasn't his fault that it become infected.

It must have been an hour after I had come home before Guinevere and I finally collapsed into our beds exhausted. It was pretty obvious that Guinevere was absolutely exhausted as she could barely keep her eyes open and even though, I felt tired, I didn't want to go to sleep. Apart of me, I think, is scared that I'll wake up and I'll be back in France.

Guinevere had fallen asleep in my arms and the feeling of her hands on my chest is not just comforting but distracting. It was almost instinctive and I didn't know that I did it but as I gazed at her face marvelling at her, I wasn't thinking of what had happened in France. Or, what had happened to Jacque.

All I could think of was her. Even in the darkness, I could see the freckles on her face, the bounciness of her curls and more importantly, I could see how our hands were entwined. With a small smile on my face, I couldn't help wonder whether she knew how much I love her and how much she had given me.

Before I had a chance to ponder it, a shrill piercing cry came from Arya. Glancing quickly at Guinevere and seeing her still asleep, I decided to go and see to Arya. After all, Guinevere had given birth earlier today and I wanted her to rest.

Prying myself away from Guinevere without waking her, I quickly went over to the Moses basket in which Arya was in. Her piercing wail was exactly that and as I bent down to comfort her, I noticed for the first time a knitted a teddy bear.

With Arya in my arms, and the teddy bear in a hand, I quickly started to try and pacify her.

"Arya, princess, Shh. Mummy's sleeping…" I told her, rocking.

In the darkness, I could see Arya looking at me with fascinated eyes and even though, I know she's too young to know what I'm talking about, I thought perhaps I could tell her a story.

I looked at the rocking chair we had put in the room before I had left for my mission, and I quickly made my way to it before sitting down.

With the continuous rocking hand stopped crying but she was wide awake and as I opened my mouth to speak, I looked to Guinevere. She was still sleeping peacefully and I knew I'd have to be as quiet as possible not to disturb her.

"How about a story, little one?" I asked her, smiling.

Asking her a question was slightly pointless, I know, but the way she looked at me show (even if I'm imagining it), made me want to talk to her.

"Well, one day there was a little princess called Arya…." The story was a fairy tale of a princess being rescued from a monster by a prince. It seemed an appropriate one for some reason.

The story was a long one and I was only half way through it when, finally, Arya's eyes began to droop and she fell into a blissful sleep. Softly, I made my way to the Moses basket and deposited her in it.

However, I wasn't soft enough as the floor board underneath me creaked loudly. It was almost as if no-one heard it but it was a moment or two later, when I heard Guinevere.

"Arthur, is that you?" Guinevere asked, groggily.

I couldn't help give her a sheepish look and as I came back to sit on the bed, I took a hold of her hand again. Even though, I had only let go of her for a short time, I had missed the feeling of Guinevere being near me.

"Sorry, love. Did I wake you?" I asked her, softly.

At my words, I could see Guinevere rubbing her eyes in order to wake herself up and I felt slightly bad for waking her up as it was pretty obvious that she was still tired. In the other hand, I realised that I still had Arya's teddy in my hand.

Something about the teddy made it seem familiar. It seemed to remind me of one I had as a child that my Father gave me. Although, the bear was entirely knitted there was a crest on the chest. Guinevere had begun to sit up in order to wake up a bit more and I decided to ask her about it.

However, I suddenly remembered that Freya knits and although, it's probably from her, I still wanted to know.

"Guinevere, my love, where did you get this teddy…?" I asked her, holding up the teddy.

At my words, Guinevere's eyes widened but I could see she was sleepy and exhausted. It was a couple of minutes before she spoke to me and when she did her voice was muffled and it was just then when I realised just how tired she was.

"Morgana. She delivered Arya. We've become friends. She offered to stay for a bit to help me and I couldn't refuse." As soon as she had finished talking, a huge yawn broke free and as she raised a hand to her mouth, I felt bad for asking.

"Go back to sleep, love. I'll sort Arya out if she wakes again." I told her, kissing her on the head, softly.

Guinevere, at my words, nodded and I could see that she immediately succumbed to the sleepiness she felt. My mind, however, was on what she had told me about Morgana. What she had told me wasn't troubling but for some reason, it made me feel unhappy.

Not because of Morgana. In the past, I hadn't held Morgana accountable for Father's actions and I don't think it's fair to do that now, but her involvement is another reminder of how much I've missed.

The more I think about it I'm glad that Morgana delivered Arya. At least, it was someone who Guinevere was close to and felt comfortable with. Not an absolute stranger.

I looked at Arya and Guinevere and seeing them sleeping soundly, I decided to go down stairs for a drink of water. Then perhaps, I will be able to drop off and join the rest of my family in their snoozing.

I slowly descended the stairs deep in my thoughts about Morgana and my Father. However, in the darkness, I nearly jumped out of my skin as I noticed someone sitting at the table. It took me a few minutes to realise who it was and when I did realise, I felt slightly idiotic for being apprehensive or scared.

Sitting at the kitchen table was Morgana looking tired and stressed, her head bent as she looked into her glass of water. She must have noticed pretence as she looked up to where I was standing.

I was aware that I still hadn't spoken and as she gave me a sheepish grin I felt a little guilty for not saying hello in the first place. So, I gave her a small smile in greeting whilst I walked to the table, before taking a seat.

"Hello, Morgana. Thank you for being there for Gwen. " I told her, a second or two later.

As soon as I had started to speak, I could see Morgana thinking but as I mentioned Guinevere, she lit up. Despite the fact she hadn't yet spoken, it was obvious that Guinevere's affection for her is entirely mutual.

"I enjoyed getting to know Gwen. She's been there for me as much as I have been for her. It's really been my pleasure and Arya's a little angel." She told me, sincerely.

The tone of her voice told me everything I needed to know about her involvement with Gwen and Arya but as she mentioned that Gwen had helped her, I felt a desire to know how she had and if I could, help her, too. She is, after all, my sister.

However, it seemed as if she wasn't finished as then went on to speak again.

"I wasn't just with Gwen at the birth. Your father was, too. I'm sorry for everything that happened between you two. It was never my intention!" Morgana looked as if she was going to cry and in that moment, I knew I wanted to make her feel better.

When I spoke next, my voice was a lot softer than I expected but it seemed to stop her from crying. I tried to digest the fact my father was at the birth of my daughter when I couldn't be and I found myself furious but I knew that I needed to sort out my relationship with Morgana first.

"What happened between my Father and I wasn't your fault, Morgana. My relationship has always been strained so to speak. Don't feel bad about it, really. How did you find out about Father?" I asked, curiously.

Morgana stiffened at my words and I instantly knew it was because of what I had asked. Just when I was going to tell her that she didn't need to answer, she started to. Her voice was soft but there was a hint of steel behind it which I hadn't heard from her before.

"I first met Uther when I was a child and I didn't know who he was! I must have been around eight or nine when my Fa- Gorlois died. Mother had died a couple of years or so before and I grew up with a friend of the family. Eventually, I wondered how they could afford to keep me and I did some digging. Uther gave them money each month for me and I finally went to speak to him to ask why. He eventually admitted everything to me." Throughout her explanation, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

I also felt slightly guilty. I had, after all, not really given her much thought before and for some reason, I wanted to get to know her.

There was something in the way she spoke which made me not only feel for her but also empathise with her. I suppose it's because we have thing in common.

I realised why I had come into the kitchen in the first place and I decided to get my glass of water. Before getting up, I looked to Morgana and asked her whether she wanted anything.

"I'm getting a glass of water. Do you want anything?" I asked her.

At my words, Morgana shook her head and gave me a smile which I happily returned before getting up and taking a glass out of the cupboard. I quickly filled up the glass and went back to sit down.

I was starting to feel slightly sleepy now but I wanted to ask Morgana more about her childhood and herself.

As I asked her question after question, she answered them happily. Even though, the conversation was slightly uncomfortable and stilted, I did feel as if I was getting to know her better and for that, I was glad.

**A/N: There you go! I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I really you hope enjoy reading this. The next chapter will be Merlin, Freya and Gwaine coming and seeing baby Arya and saying hello to Arthur. Uther will also make a very special appearance. **

**Please review! **


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews, follows, etc. I enjoy hearing your ideas and thoughts. I really do appreciate every single one of them. Okay, about this chapter. This will be from Arthur's POV and Arthur, Gwen and baby Arya will be going to the airfield. It'll be about four days after he's been back! Merlin, Gwaine and Freya will all make an appearance and perhaps, Uther, too! If you're lucky. I don't OWN Merlin!**

The next few days of being back were a whirlwind of events. Whilst Guinevere and I were adjusting to be a parent, I was also trying to get to know Morgana at the same time. The day after we had spoken, it was obvious something had changed. I hadn't really noticed straightaway but Guinevere had. She kept giving me looks which were so full of pride that I didn't really know why she was looking at me like that. A part of me that it was due to Arya!

It was when Morgana had offered to change Arya's nappy and put her to sleep, so Guinevere and I could have some alone time, when Guinevere had finally admitted that she was happy Morgana and I were getting along.

Even though, there was times when Arya wouldn't stop crying or she wouldn't sleep, I loved being home. Guinevere, of course, had taken to being a mother like a duck to water and at times, I'd see her holding Arya so tenderly and so softly that'd I would feel such a surge of love and happiness about Guinevere that I couldn't help but want to be near her.

Guinevere had always been such a strong, beautiful woman but ever since I've been back, I keep discovering things and habits about her. The way she with Morgana had shown me just how much she loved her but also how loving she is a person.

It is one of the reasons which I can't help but feel angry at my Father. Guinevere was in a vulnerable position, feeling scared and alone, and Father used that to make it seem as if he was a virtuous person so he could get close to Arya.

As I thought about the day after I was back, when I had asked Guinevere about Father, I couldn't help feel slightly guilty.

_FLASHBACK_

_The day had gone so fast and it wasn't long before it was night time or very close to it. Guinevere and I had, of course, realised that babies don't really care about whether it's night time or not if they are hungry and so as a result, we had spent the last hour trying to stop Arya from crying. We had a couple of hours ago fed her, so we're a little stumped but as Guinevere picked her up, we both knew she was hungry. _

_Having now fed her, we were now in bed, hoping to get to sleep. However, with Guinevere in my arms, I didn't want to sleep. It's not that I'm not tired but rather I can't get my Father out of my head. _

_After a moment of two of thinking, and realising that Guinevere isn't a sleep, I started to speak. _

"_Guinevere, what was my Father's part in Arya's birth?" I asked her, softly, not wanting to wake Arya. _

_At my words, Guinevere raised her head her from my chest and looked up to me. Despite the blackouts of the windows, I could see the expression on her face. It wasn't fear just slight apprehension. _

_It was a little while before she started to speak and I couldn't help let out a sigh of relief when she did. _

"_Your father had come to speak to me and he had been there when I had gone into labour. Apparently, he wanted to speak about you. I was absolutely terrified as he was the only person with me when my waters broke but Morgana was coming to visit me and she came. I did tell your father he could go as I knew he would feel slightly uncomfortable but he didn't! I know you don't like your Father at the moment, Arthur, but he did help me when I was giving birth." Guinevere admitted to me, biting her lip. _

_At her words, I felt a sense of jealousy that my Father had been at the birth of our baby and the more I pondered it, the angrier I was beginning to feel. Before I had disappeared, I had never thought I would not be at Arya's birth and the fact that my Father was who I had told to stay away from both my wife and my daughter was too much._

"_How did he help you?" I asked her. _

_I had tried to make my voice sound as if it didn't matter but it did. Guinevere, I think, realised this and tried to appease me and the way she did made me feel guilty. _

"_He reminded me of how you felt about me. Believe me, Arthur, I wanted you with me. I needed you with me." She told me softly._

_Her words were cutting through the anger I felt about my Father and it reminded me that him being there isn't important. All that is our baby and each other. As I gazed into Guinevere's eyes, I saw the truth in her eyes and I couldn't help feel guilty. _

"_I'm sorry, Guinevere. I'm being unreasonable, aren't I?" I told her, apologetically. _

_Guinevere, at my words, gave me a smile and I knew she was going to tell me that I wasn't but I should have been happy that Guinevere had someone with her, no matter who that person was. Even if it was my Father…_

"_It's okay to be disappointed, Arthur. I know how much you wanted to be there and I know it's not easy between you and Uther." She told me, softly. _

_I couldn't help smile at her words. They reminded me exactly why I love her. Her compassion, understanding, her selflessness never ceases to amaze me. _

"_You're too understanding, Guinevere. You do realise that, don't you?" I asked her, smiling. _

_Guinevere answered my question with a smile but it was a sheepish one. I could tell she didn't see anything wrong with that and as I gazed at her, I realised there wasn't. _

_We didn't speak again for a while but as we gazed at each other, we were simply cherishing the feeling of being with each other again. As I was beginning to feel overcome we felt for each other, I slowly brought my lips to hers. _

_The feeling of Guinevere's soft, full lips beneath mine was a feeling I had missed but I hadn't missed it because it was simply passionate but also the tenderness. Kissing Guinevere wasn't about simply physical gratification but every time I kissed her, I felt as if we were pouring our feelings into it. _

_The kiss seemed to go on for quite a long time but as we both felt absolutely exhausted, we feel into a deep sleep, the both of us feeling loved and happy. _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

"Are you ready to go?" Guinevere asked me, as she put on Arya's little coat.

At her words, I couldn't help but feel slightly apprehensive. It had been a day or two since I had been back when a note had arrived from Lieutenant Walker asking to see me in a few days. Well, earlier on today, Guinevere and I had both decided to go.

I think Guinevere could sense that I was apprehensive about seeing Lieutenant Walker and I am. A part of me knows that he won't only ask about France but he'll want to talk about my leg.

I had hoped that my leg would go back to normal but it hadn't. Not only had my walking been affected but more often than not, my leg still felt sore and stiff. Guinevere had noticed something had happened to my leg once she had seen the scar and I had told her that it had happened in the crash.

I nodded at her words and with Arya properly wrapped up and in her pram; we began to make our way to the airfield. It's the first time that Arya's out of the house properly and I think Guinevere wants to show her off.

I noticed a little old woman walking past and stopping before us. The little old lady looked in the pram, displaying a rather toothless smile, but as I looked to Guinevere she looked full of pride as the old woman cooed over Arya that I couldn't help but start smiling.

"Ain't she a beauty?" The woman, cooed, softly.

Guinevere nodded to her, politely and even though, I knew Guinevere knows just how beautiful our baby is she also didn't want to be arrogant. After another moment or two, the old woman rambled on about her own children and I couldn't help but smile and wonder whether we'd be like that when we're her age.

When after about ten minutes of talking to the lady, she finally told us she had to go and visit her neighbour; Guinevere and I were still smiling happily.

We continued walking for a little while longer and Guinevere took hold of my hand as we saw the airfield. She knew the importance of it for me. I looked to Guinevere and she gave me an encouraging smile.

I was beginning to see how fruitless being anxious and scared was. Whatever happens will happen. Nothing I do will change that.

"Ready?" I asked her, smiling.

Guinevere nodded and without saying anything else, we made our way up the path.

There were a few people dotted around the airfield but as we reached the mess hall, I caught a glimpse of the people we knew through the window. I spotted Gwaine who was very much absorbed in flirting with Mithian. I smiled at the sight, who would have known?

However, as Guinevere took Arya out of her pram, we both made our way inside. Like normal, everyone in the mess hall was very much concerned with their own dinners but slowly, the WAAF's and the pilots realised we were there.

One of the very first people who noticed was Merlin. He seemed to realise someone was looking in his direction as he had looked me straight in the eye. The smile which he gave me I knew I would remember for a very long time.

It was the type which not only conveys the happiness that person feels but also it is infectious. I couldn't help but return the smile. It couldn't have much longer before Merlin came out of his seat before bounding up to me.

"It's good to see you." He told me, with restrained happiness.

I shook my head at his word. I quickly noticed Guinevere being surrounded by people wanting to look at Arya, and Freya was the most eager amongst them.

"Is that all? No, 'I've missed you' or 'I couldn't have gone on without you'? Don't go too overboard!" I told him, cheekily.

The look Merlin gave me was a not only amused but I could tell he had missed me. Even though, most of the time Merlin annoys me, I must admit I missed him, too.

"I didn't really miss you, not really." He told me, indifferently.

Merlin sounded indifferent but his eyes were twinkling and as I gave him a punch to the shoulder for his words, I motioned for him to see Arya.

We slowly walked to Guinevere who was talking to Freya about Arya. As we got closer we caught some of their conversation.

"She's absolutely gorgeous, Gwen. Can I hold her?" Freya asked Guinevere, excitedly.

Guinevere saw no reason why Freya shouldn't hold her and as she gave Arya to Freya, the look Freya gave Arya made Guinevere smile. It reminded me of how Morgana looks at her. Not only full of adoration but also protectiveness.

Merlin, who was gazing at both Freya and Arya, was just as bad. I had never looked at Merlin with a baby or even interacting with one. I suppose I'd always thought he'd drop it since he's quite clumsy but as I looked to him looking at Arya, I knew I could trust him with her and that'd he would never hurt her.

It's sad I can't say the same about my Father.

**A/N: Well, there you go. I wanted to show that Arthur still hasn't forgiven his father and that hasn't been helped by him being at the birth. I thought that this chapter would be good for them as it would show Arthur's feeling about Morgana as a sister but also with Merlin and Freya seeing the baby. **

**I hope you have enjoyed this.**

**Please review! **


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews, follows, etc. They mean a lot to me. In this chapter, Uther and Arthur will finally have a proper conversation and it will be the first steps for their relationship to go back to normal. This chapter will not only be from Arthur's POV but also, it's the last chapter before the epilogue. I was worried I wouldn't cover everything I wanted within forty chapters, but I seem to be doing it! I don't OWN Merlin! **

My conversation with Lieutenant Walker had gone as I thought it would. After de-briefing me about my mission, he went on to ask about my leg. Every hope I held about my carer seemed to end the moment he started talking about the lasting damage I had done to it. Despite feeling apprehensive and a little uncertain, I couldn't help feel relieved once he had told me I'd have to quit being a pilot.

Even though, being a pilot was important to me, I suppose a part of me was glad I knew what was going to happen. Telling Guinevere on the way home, however, was the hardest part.

Guinevere, with Arya in her arms, had been understanding and sympathetic as she had told that it wasn't my fault as she held my hand, I think she wanted to comfort me but I couldn't help feel as if I'd let her down.

"I'm alright, Guinevere, it's probably for the best." I had told her, more for her benefit than mine.

At my words, Guinevere nodded but I couldn't fool her. She could sense how I felt and as we spent time together over the next few days, she tried to make me feel better and useful.

For the most part, I enjoyed the time I spent with Guinevere and Arya. Looking after Arya was a fulltime occupation and as both Guinevere and I tended to her, I felt much closer to Guinevere than I ever had been.

After a couple of weeks of being at home, a picnic had been decided upon as Guinevere was worried Arya was inside too much. Merlin and Freya would be on their leave and Tom would be able to come up from Nottingham for it. I saw no reason not to ask Morgana to come and join us but as Guinevere reminded me about my Father, I told her 'no'.

_FLASHBACK_

"_How about your father?" Guinevere asked, as she began to feed Arya with a bottle. _

_Despite the fact my anger had died down a little bit, I still couldn't forgive my father for what he had done and I definitely didn't want him near my family. Both by cheating on my Mother and his behaviour to Guinevere, he had done enough. _

_Guinevere had told me that Father would visit Arya sometime in the week but as the days passed, it seemed unlikely he would. _

"_No, I don't want him there." I told her, simply. _

_At my words, Guinevere looked a little unhappy and it was obvious that she disliked that I still held animosity towards my Father. She had forgiven him and she wanted me to as well, for Arya's sake. _

_Guinevere nodded to me, not saying anything and I think she didn't want to force me into inviting him but a part of me saw how unreasonable I was being and I felt my resolve caving. _

"_Alright. I'll invite my Father." I told her, sighing. _

_Guinevere, at my words, smiled slightly at me but I knew that I was only doing it for her and Arya and not for my father or myself. _

_END OF FLASHBACK_

My Father had answered my invitation with a letter and it was formal and simple but it conveyed what it needed to. I couldn't help suspect that my Father had been wary of writing anything which would have angered me, so he had decided for the letter be a formality.

For Guinevere, however, she was happy he had written. It had shown he had not only received our invitation but also that he wanted to come. A step in the right direction of repairing my relationship with Father…

Just as I had picked up Arya, there was a knock on the door. It didn't take me long to get to the door from where I was sitting on the sofa, so I quickly went to open the door. Standing on the other side was Tom.

I couldn't help smile at him as he stood before. Not only did Tom look blissfully happy as he looked to Arya in my arms but he looked much younger. I hadn't seen him since our wedding and as he came forward to shake my free hand, I could tell he was happy to see me.

As I ushered him into the house, Guinevere was coming down the stairs and upon seeing her Father, she gave him a smile and a hug.

At the sight of Guinevere and Tom hugging, I felt a pang in my chest. Their relationship had always, to me, seemed loving but as Tom looked at Guinevere with such tenderness I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of their relationship. I knew my Father and I would never be like that.

Arya who had seemed to realise she was no longer centre of attention started to cry abruptly. All of our attention was on her and it took us a while before, we decided who was going to sort out the little rascal.

In the end, Tom had wished a desire to hold her and as I passed Arya over to hold her, I caught Guinevere's eye. The look of contentment I saw in her, I couldn't help but feel happy at. Motherhood really did suit her and as I looked at Tom smiling at Arya, I realised that Tom would be a brilliant grandfather.

"Thank you for coming, Tom." I told him, once Tom had calmed Arya down.

At my words, Tom's gaze went from Arya up to me. It was a little while before he started to answer me.

"No need to thank me, Arthur. I wouldn't have missed it for the world!" He told me, smiling.

The smile we all returned. In the next few minutes, everyone seemed to arrive. At first, after Tom had arrived was Merlin and Freya. They both, as they came inside, looked refreshed and happy and every so often, I would see Merlin gazing at Freya with a somewhat foolish expression on his face.

The next to arrive was Morgana. Guinevere was talking happily to Merlin, Freya and Tom when Morgana had arrived but as soon as Guinevere had noticed Morgana, she bounded over to us to give her a hug, just as she had done so with everyone else.

The only person who was left was my Father. I couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed that he was late. Everyone else had made sure to get here on time but, of course, he hadn't. What made me feel even more annoyed was that throughout my childhood, I had been told tardiness was a bad thing!

It was getting late and all of the food was prepared and as Morgana, Freya helped Guinevere to wrap everything up to take to the park, I was helping to sort Arya out.

Arya, who was in a beautiful, little blue dress looked happily oblivious to the activity around her. Despite the fact, it is summer, Guinevere and I had both it wise to make sure that Arya wears her booties in case of rain.

Merlin and Tom seemed to both find it hilarious as I tried to put on her little booties as Arya seemed to wriggle her foot out of my hand, nearly kicking me in the face. Whilst Merlin was laughing so hard, I was worried he'd fall off his chair, Tom's mirth was well veiled. The only reason I knew he found it funny was the twinkle in his eye.

Once I had finally managed to get her booties on and without having to strain myself, or without Merlin falling of his chair, I got off my knees from where I had put Arya (who was in her Moses basket) and after kissing her on her head, I picked her up.

"Do you need any help, Arthur?" Guinevere asked, as she finished wrapping the food.

I shook my head, at her words, and as Merlin was about to speak, probably to tell her about the bootie incident, I got in there before him.

"No, love. I just need to put her in her pram." I told her, smiling.

As everyone was leaving, Father still wasn't here. I looked to Guinevere and she seemed to immediately realise that I was thinking of my Father. Since we hadn't told him which park we were going to, he wouldn't know where to go.

Which would mean one of us would have to stay. As Guinevere opened her mouth to speak, I knew she was going to offer to stay but quickly cut her off. Not only would it be unfair for her to miss some of the picnic but she'd miss spending some time with her dad and I didn't want that.

"How about I wait here for my Father?" I asked her, just before we were beginning to walk.

Guinevere, at my words, looked a little happy and I immediately knew why. By waiting for my Father it would mean that it would get us talking and even though, I didn't really plan on talking to my Father that much, if the thought made Guinevere happy, I suppose I could talk to him a bit.

"You're a good man, Arthur Pendragon. Just give him a chance." She told me, as she came up to hug me.

As I returned the hug, I took in her words. Did she really see me as a good man? The thought was a painful one and I knew it was due to Jacque. The hug was a little tighter than I had intended but Guinevere hadn't gone away from me.

It couldn't have been longer before everyone else had gone and as I waited for my Father, I started thinking again. Even though, I had hoped that once I had come back from France I would forget everything that had happened there, sometimes I can't help but think about it.

I was still thinking about it when Father finally appeared. He was still a little way off when I spotted him. However, it was obvious that he had noticed me as he seemed to pick up his pace so that he was close to me well before I thought he would be.

When he finally appeared in front of me, I noticed his appearance. Whereas Tom had looked happier and younger, my Father didn't look younger at all. If anything, he looked drawn and tired. Not the man my Father had always been.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Arthur. The traffic was terrible." He told me, as we began to walk.

At his words, I nodded but I didn't know what to say to him. We fell into an uncomfortable silence and whilst I didn't feel as angry as I did before, I also felt no desire to start talking to him. However, my Father did want to speak to me and he did so.

"Arthur, we need to sort this out." He told me, as we continued walking.

Yet again, I nodded to him and I could tell he wanted me to say that I had forgiven him or that it was all water under the bridge but I couldn't. So, after a moment or two of thinking, I started speaking.

"I can't forgive you for cheating on Mother. If I had found out when I was younger, I could have rationalised what you did, I could have understood but I can't now. I'm married and I have a daughter. I can't understand how you did it. I would never, no matter what the circumstances are, cheat on Guinevere. It would break her heart as well as Arya's." I hadn't intended speak for so long but I suppose I had been thinking about it for a while.

My Father, at my words, looked crushed and as I saw his shoulders begin to sag, I began to feel sorry for him. We yet again fell into silence and whilst our pace had slowed down, I hadn't noticed. It was a couple of minutes before Father spoke to me again.

"That's because you're a much better man than I ever was. I'm proud of you, Arthur. Your mother would have been proud of you! " He told me, simply.

I stopped walking at his words. It must have been the shock but it was also the anger I felt. I wasn't angry at his words as I had always wanted my Father to be proud of me, but it was that I could see that he truly did mean what he was saying.

However, his words about my Mother did hit a nerve. Mother was always someone as I grew up, who I yearned to hear about and see pictures of. Father had always made me feel guilty for asking about her and now, he's talking about her again.

The look of desperation and guilt I saw in his eyes made me for a moment or two, feel a little guilty.

"Why tell me that now!? It was easier to hate for what you've done." I admitted after a moment.

We hadn't started walking again and as he answered me, I saw tears in his eyes and the sight made me look away.

My Father wasn't the type of man to cry. He's stoic, courageous, and brave. Not someone who cries.

"I've realised a few things over the past couple of weeks. When I heard you had been shot down, I felt as if I had failed your Mother. That feeling plagued my days and I decided on a whim to visit Gwen." I couldn't help but look shocked as he mentioned Gwen, but he soon carried on

"I knocked on her door with no expectation of even being let in the house but Gwen did and even though, I was shocked that she had, I was thankful as well. It didn't take me long to figure out that something was wrong with her. She was pale and sweating. I nearly had a heart attack when she said she was having her baby." He admitted, remembering.

I didn't know why but I didn't feel jealous or envious that he had been there. Instead I simply felt curious and thankful she hadn't been alone. However, I couldn't help wonder why he was telling me this.

I think he knew I was thinking that as he continued speaking, explaining more.

"Seeing her have my grandchild brought up old emotions. It made me think of your mother. I don't expect you to forgive me, Arthur, I haven't forgiven myself yet." His voice was still as hard as ever but I couldn't help notice a slight pitying tone to his voice.

I shut my eyes trying to block out his voice but I knew I felt sorry for him, even if, he had done something I couldn't forgive him for.

Father had gone quiet again and almost as if we absorbed in our own thoughts, we started walking once again. I suddenly felt an urge to tell him about Jacque and France and even though, I would have told Guinevere, I didn't want to burden her.

"Perhaps, the reason you can't forgive yourself is because you're not meant to." I told him, speaking more about myself than him.

Something in my voice must have alerted him to something as he whipped his head around to look at me and he looked at me with wide eyes. In that instant, I felt like a child again admitting something I'd done waiting for my Father to give me advice or punishment again.

"What are you talking about?" He asked me, looking at me straight in the face.

I felt a sudden urge of apprehension. I didn't want to tell him about what had happened. How a kind, innocent man had died for my desire to get away?

My throat felt tight and restricted and I had to take big gulps of air in order to get my mouth to work before I started speaking.

"When I crashed my plane, I was in France. The unoccupied part. A man found me in a house and he tended to my leg. He even helped me when I developed a fever." I couldn't help but sound guilty as I spoke and my father looked understanding for once in his life.

As I thought about what happened next, I felt not only guilty but to selfish. I made no move to continue speaking, so my father began to ask instead. I think he thought it would be better to get it out of my system.

"What happened next?" He asked me, looking at me intently.

Without thinking about it, I blurted it all out in one go. If I did it slowly, I would think about it. I would start to feel guilty.

"I think he was a part of the résistance. Anyway, he helped me get a boat without getting caught since even though, I was in the unoccupied part, I still needed to be careful. All of the stress of helping me must have put too much strain on him. As I climbed into the boat he had got me, he started clutching his chest. I wanted to go back but the other passengers didn't. I don't know what happened to him. " I couldn't help but feel swamped with guilt as I said this to my Father.

At my words, Father simply pulled me into a hug. His hand on my head as he had done when I was a child. Even though, a hug didn't make it right between us, I couldn't help but feel as if it had closed the gap his infidelity had caused.

"You can't feel guilty, Arthur. We all have things we aren't proud of but you can't let that affect you. Gwen and Arya need you." He told me.

As soon as he said it, I knew he was right and as I backed away from him, I knew something had changed between us. I no longer hated him for what he had done. I could see that he really did hate himself for what he had done. I understood him more.

His actions to both me, Guinevere and Arya had proved that he did care and as much as I would have like to have kept hating him, being angry at him for what he had done, I can't.

Tentatively, I gave him a smile to show him that I had thawed a bit towards him and to my amazement, he returned it.

**A/N: Erm, whoa. Over 3, 353 words! This is the longest chapter ever but there was quite a lot I needed to include. The conversation between Arthur and Uther needed to be done. You also found out about what happened in France. If it wasn't as dramatic as you wanted then, I'm sorry. I also tried to do some cute moments, I don't know they were or not. **

**Anyway, the next chapter is the last!**

**I hope you enjoyed this, please review!**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! I really, really appreciate them. Anyway, this is the last chapter of "War of love!"- The epilogue. In the epilogue, it will be 1960 (19 years later). Hopefully, I will able to show how everything's ended for each of the characters whilst give them all a happy ending ish. Well, I don't OWN Merlin. This is from Gwen's POV. **

THE EPILOGUE-1960

After the war, everyone seemed to search for some sort of normality and whilst others seemed to be able to get over the war easily, it was much harder for others. For example, Arthur had been affected by what had happened in France for a very long time after the war. Gradually, Arthur had gotten over the experience but it didn't mean he forgot.

Looking after Arya had been our saving grace. Instead of lamenting over what had happened in the war, we dedicated our time to looking after Arya. We had been so happy that the time flew and in between Arya playing cricket with Arthur or learning to cook with me, we had become a complete family. The adoration, love, and utter happiness was always present in Arthur's eyes as he looked at both his daughter and I and at times, I had felt so happy that I was sure I was dreaming.

However, long after we'd given up the idea of having giving Arya a sibling after about 8 years, I had suddenly become pregnant again. Even though, it was a complete shock, I didn't feel scared or frightened. For some reason, I had faith in Arthur helping me through it and as soon as I told Arthur the news, he had looked so happy and determined to be there for me, I knew he wouldn't miss anything for the world. I think a part of him felt that he could make up for missing Arya's birth.

Compared to my pregnancy with Arya, the whole pregnancy had gone both smoothly and peacefully. For every change which had happened to my body, Arthur had been there helping me and as my pregnancy had been progressing, the look of complete pride in his eyes had almost (at different times) made me cry.

At the end of the 9 months, I didn't have a baby to show for my pregnancy but two bouncing baby boys. Jack and Thomas Pendragon were the new additions to the family and despite the odd grumble from Arya, we were blissfully happy.

We probably should have felt stressed and tired but we had so many people trying to help us, we were alright. Uther, Father, Morgana, Freya and Merlin all offered their help and quite frequently, they changed the odd nappy or two.

"Are you tired, my love?" Arthur asked me, breaking into my musings.

I must have let out a huge yawn almost unintentionally and at the endearment I couldn't help but start smiling. My marriage to Arthur had gone from strength to strength but every so often, there would be times like these were I would feel absolutely in love with this man that I'd feel exactly as I had done when I had been 19.

"Not too much, Arthur." I told him, smiling softly.

Like usual, I was in Arthur's arms. After the twins had been born, it had been obvious that our time was no longer our own and whilst we loved being parents, night time seemed be the time when we'd be able to be alone. A time where we could languish in our feelings for each other….

So, from that moment, we had gone to sleep every night in each other's arms.

At my words, however, Arthur frowned and I knew why he was. Ever since I had told him two weeks ago about my pregnancy, he seemed to immediately become more protective and whilst I know Arya hates how protective he is over her, it's one of the reasons I love him as I do.

For Arthur, he'd do anything to protect the ones he loves. Seeing him with our children reminds me of that daily.

Despite his frown, he started to speak again and just by the tone of his voice, I knew something was wrong. Having being married for so long we've become accustomed to differentiating the changes in each other. Whilst some people think it's a bad thing, Arthur uses to make me feel loved and special.

"Today Harry asked for my blessing for him to marry Arya." Arthur admitted to me before sighing.

The words were simple and uncomplicated but I could tell how much the sentence had affected him and immediately knew why. To Arthur, Arya will always be his little princess and to be reminded by a man that his daughter is on the verge of womanhood would hurt.

For me, however, I wasn't shocked by his words. Arya hadn't just been acting like a woman in love but, in a way, she reminded me of when I was younger. Of how I acted. To this, however, Arthur had been oblivious.

"What did you tell him?" I asked him, softly.

Arthur looked at me at his words and before he answered me, he gave me a peck on the lips. A faint kiss, tender and loving and just feeling of his lips against mine filled my stomach with desire.

It was a little while before he started talking again and as he started to, I felt bursting with pride for him.

"I gave him my blessing. As long as they wait to get married. That way they can know that they are not rushing into anything." He explained to me.

I couldn't help but smile at his words. I knew what it had taken for him to have said that to Harry and for him to have done so, it reminded me why exactly I love him! No matter how he feels, he'll do something so considerate and loving. He must not have been so oblivious to Arya's feelings as I had thought.

Abruptly, I engulfed him in a tight embrace which emitted a throaty chuckle from Arthur and I realised that I hadn't spoken and I felt myself blush.

"You lovely, brilliant man, Arthur! Why did you do that?" I asked as we were still in the hug.

At my words, Arthur yet again looked at me and with a somewhat pained expression he explained to me why he had given his blessing.

"Arya loves him, Guinevere. We always knew we'd have to let her go sometime and I want her happy, my love." His words were heartfelt and sincere and even though, I knew he was a little saddened by Harry asking for his blessing, I could tell he was proud of Arya.

We then fell into a comfortable silence and even though, we had come out of the hug, we were still in each other's arms.

However, it must have been a couple a minutes later, before Arthur started chuckling once more and since I hadn't done anything to induce this, I raised my head to look at him in bewilderment. After giving him a look of questioning, Arthur finally started to explain.

"I think the boys heard my conversation with Harry…." He started laughing at this point and I couldn't help but join in as it was such an infectious sound. Once he had calmed down enough, he continued with, "They've been up to their old tricks again."

I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at his words. Our boys have always been lively and adventurous but in the past year so, they've become something entirely different. Something akin to pranksters….

When I remembered what they had done last time, I couldn't help but groan softly.

"They glued Harry's feet to the floor…?" I asked Arthur, questioningly.

Despite the fact, the twin's behaviour to Harry would be in no way humorous, I couldn't help but imagine the person they had do it before to. Mrs Fleet, their school teacher, wasn't just a 60 year old woman but also the most aggravating teacher you could ever meet. For both teachers and pupils.

Tommy and Jack had apparently stuck her feet to the floor as she had slept in the break between lessons. Arthur and I had when he had found out been unhappy and angry at them but as they explained why they had done it, I couldn't help but feel she had deserved it.

At my words, Arthur shook his head before starting to laugh again. A little while later, he finally told me what they had done.

"They put a frog in Harry's pocket. I think they were trying to scare him. He's terrified of them, apparently." Arthur told me, laughing.

Although, it hadn't sounded too bad, I knew there would be more to the story. There normally is where Tommy and Jack are concerned.

"You should have heard the scream Harry let out when he picked it out of his pocket. For a moment, I thought it was Morgana or Arya." Although, his tone was amused, I knew he hadn't taken the situation as lightly as he was doing now.

At his words, I couldn't help shaking my head. Despite being younger than Arya, Tommy and Jack seem to be determined to look after Arya and when I see them comforting her or asking her what's wrong, I feel my heart swell.

All mothers say it but the twins really don't mean anything by their pranks. If anything, it's an integral part of their personality. It also means that life in the Pendragon household is never dull.

Their behaviour also reminds me of Arthur and how he is with Morgana. Despite not knowing each other for most of their lives, you wouldn't know it. Arthur's the most protective person you could meet and I think one of the reasons why Arthur had been able to forgive Uther.

"I'll talk to them. They're supposed to be going to the faire with your Father and Morgana, though." I told him, biting my lip.

I think Arthur could tell that I was torn between wanting to discipline the twins and letting them enjoy themselves with their grandfather and Auntie Morgana as he gave me a smile.

"Let them enjoy themselves tomorrow, Guinevere. They've been looking forward to spending time with Father and Morgana for weeks. Especially, since Father's been in hospital. They can even meet Morgana's fiancé' properly. " He explained, softly.

I buried my head into his shoulder as he spoke and I instantly knew he was right. Even after all these years, he still knows what to say to me and more importantly, he knows how to calm me down.

"You're right. As always. How is your Father?" I asked him, curiously.

At my words, Arthur brought me closer to him and in that movement I knew he had been worried about his Father. Even though, there are still times of trouble and strife for Arthur and his Father, their relationship had improved leaps and bounds from the war.

I suppose Arthur seeing his Father interacting with Arya and the boys had helped him in more way than one.

"He's better. He asked after you. When I told him about you expecting another baby, he gave me a stern warning to look after you!" He admitted, smiling.

Arthur's smile was too easy to return and I was still smiling when Arthur finally began to drop off.

I had been tired when we had first started talking but far from it tiring me out, it had given me food for thought. Not just about my family but about everything.

I had often wondered about the impact the war had on Arthur and I and at times, I sometimes think that it was bad. Many people were tested beyond their means throughout the war but as I think about it, I think perhaps it caused a lot of good things, too.

Not only had becoming a WAAF gave me independence, purpose and reason for my existence but it meant that for the first time, I didn't feel at odds with the people around me. The war was also the reason I met Arthur.

I've also tried to think about my life if Arthur wasn't in it and I simply can't. For me, my life is with Arthur. Our little family isn't just one the things I love most in the world but I cherish everything about it. Whilst at times, the twins try my patience but I wouldn't be without them for the world.

At the age of 38, I had never imagined feeling so loved and content and it's all down to the war. It had led me to Arthur and I can't help but feel thankful for that.

My life isn't perfect and our children aren't, even if at times I feel they are, but I can't help but love them with my heart and soul.

The war had strengthened Arthur and me and even though, I wouldn't have believed it possible, it made us love each other so much more than we had in the first place. I suppose it would be accurate to call it a 'war of love!'

**A/N: Well, there you go! It's over.**

**Thank you for everyone who's hung in there with me as I didn't plan on this being that long. Only about 30 chapters' tops but I have loved writing this. Very much so. For a couple of reasons actually as I had never done something which had required so much preparation and research. So, in the end, I researched TB by reading journals and thesis. **

**Anyway, I have decided to take a break from writing for about a month or so, since I kind of want some time where I'm not writing. Don't worry, I already have another idea for a Gwen/Arthur fanfic; you just need to be patient. Thank you for all the reviews as well! :D**

**I hope you've enjoyed this as much as I have. **

**Please review!**


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